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Romantic Intentions from the start


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Old 6th November 2017, 10:05 PM   #1
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Romantic Intentions from the start

I was on another post and someone said that some people go from LTR to LTR with out a brake. So I started thinking. What if men and woman were more up front with their intentions.

What if instead of feeling things out and being friends first. You just state your intntions. Some variations of I like you in a romantic way first. Thats kissing and making out/making love your romantic prospect.

What do you all think that would do with your chances of getting into a LTR.
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Old 6th November 2017, 10:43 PM   #2
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It's always worked out well for me anyway...

I've always known immediately if there's a spark and when it has been reciprocated we've basically just gone straight into a relationship. No dating, no defining the relationship type talks, just straight into a relationship. And I've never had problems finding girls/women with the same modus operandi.

I like to think of it as assessing potential relationship partners by actually trying to have relationships with them. Just seems more efficient.
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Old 7th November 2017, 4:28 AM   #3
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I think that women would be taken aback by that. Guys are more ready for the physical stuff anytime, unless he is really not attracted to her.

In my mind. Even with my female friends observing them, none of them are the type to just start sleeping with anyone or jumping into bed right away.
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Old 7th November 2017, 5:34 AM   #4
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I'm he same as Bardot. I've never just dated casually. Instead, there would be a connection and we've run with it. There was never a need to discuss exclusivity because we just knew we were an item.

That said, you can be in a relationship and break it off if it doesn't work. That's why it's not scary. It's not like you're making a long term promise from the get go.

Personally I don't understand juggling a few different dates at the same time. Heaven forbid I was single again because I would never bother with a guy who was dating around while taking time to make a decision about me.
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Old 7th November 2017, 6:04 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mysterio View Post
I was on another post and someone said that some people go from LTR to LTR with out a brake. So I started thinking. What if men and woman were more up front with their intentions.

What if instead of feeling things out and being friends first. You just state your intntions. Some variations of I like you in a romantic way first. Thats kissing and making out/making love your romantic prospect.

What do you all think that would do with your chances of getting into a LTR.
As the famous line from Ashford & Simpson goes, "You can't be nobodys lover, til you're somebodys friend". L)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2biM8GfCyY

But on a serious note. The problem you will/might run into is you will get into a relationship and after the initial honeymoon phase you realize that you are stuck with someone who has very little in common with you and you don't really like hanging out with. and then you're screwed.
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Old 7th November 2017, 6:21 AM   #6
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In my mind. Even with my female friends observing them, none of them are the type to just start sleeping with anyone or jumping into bed right away.
.
Though if their intention is to form a relationship with a guy they are crazy about and a connection is made, then why would they not want to jump into bed with him or at least get somewhat physical with him?

All very well friends first, and that can work for some, but in the process, it can also extinguish any passion and once the passion is lost it may be difficult to fan back into life.
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Old 7th November 2017, 6:24 AM   #7
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I see your point, but for me. I have always gone slow. There is not straight to the bed thing for me. I would not even think about sleeping with the woman, unless she is my GF and even then. I don't want any oops kids, so everything has to be talked out for me.

When I look at the my parents generation, vs mine. It feels like everyone was more cut and dry in the late 60's when they were courting. Than now. I am 17 yrs past the age of my parents when they got married.

My parents met in 1968 and got married in 1969 when Dad was 29/Mom-30.
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Old 7th November 2017, 6:26 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by jjgitties View Post
But on a serious note. The problem you will/might run into is you will get into a relationship and after the initial honeymoon phase you realize that you are stuck with someone who has very little in common with you and you don't really like hanging out with. and then you're screwed.
Why are you screwed?
Dating is about finding compatible people, if you find you have little in common or you don't like them very much after a period of time, then you just end it.
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Old 7th November 2017, 6:36 AM   #9
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Maybe its a hormone thing or certain vibe that can't be quantified. Like I just like certain #'s/Colours/Music and there is no rhyme or reason for it.

I love the # 7. Red for colour. Any type of music that sounds like James Brown/Led Zeppelin/Hendrix. Thats just the way it is.

When it comes to romance. No matter what the intentions are. Certain people put together work. Others don't.
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Old 7th November 2017, 6:39 AM   #10
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I have lots of friends and know lots of people. I still find romantic compatablility hard. I am not like most guys. I am not a pleaser. At best. I am Mr. Reasonable Negotiations.
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Old 7th November 2017, 6:51 AM   #11
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Why are you screwed?
Dating is about finding compatible people, if you find you have little in common or you don't like them very much after a period of time, then you just end it.
Thats true. But then you are going through heartbreak and emotional stress which you could have easily avoided by just trying to get to know the person and their personality before you told them you want to kiss and go to bed with them.

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then you just end it.
Is this not why this forum and many of the visitors are on here in a lot of cases are here for. They are trying to find sane ways to deal with so many people in their life that they run into that make a connection with them and then just casually end it.
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Old 7th November 2017, 7:02 AM   #12
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Originally Posted by Mysterio View Post
I have lots of friends and know lots of people. I still find romantic compatablility hard. I am not like most guys. I am not a pleaser. At best. I am Mr. Reasonable Negotiations.
It may be a way of avoiding rejection for you.
Everyone is a friend, so unless they show direct interest in you, they remain in the friend box. No harm, no foul.
No risk taken but maybe no real gain either.
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Old 7th November 2017, 7:22 AM   #13
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Thats true. But then you are going through heartbreak and emotional stress which you could have easily avoided by just trying to get to know the person and their personality before you told them you want to kiss and go to bed with them.
But you cannot really dodge heartache, no matter how carefully you lay plans, you may be great friends, but in the bedroom it may end up as a disaster.
You may think you have found the perfect person, but they do not feel the same...

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Is this not why this forum and many of the visitors are on here in a lot of cases are here for. They are trying to find sane ways to deal with so many people in their life that they run into that make a connection with them and then just casually end it.
But dating is not just about finding someone and putting up with just about anything...
People are perfectly entitled to end relationships that are not working FOR THEM...
Who really wants to be miserable?
Life is too short.
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Old 7th November 2017, 8:57 AM   #14
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I don't think I am afraid of rejection. I asked a woman from my Gym out for Lunch. I told her at Lunch that I had a crush on her. She told me she was married. So I let it go.

I think today is just harder for some reason. I just don't have that vibe that a lot of women are single. Unless you go on a Dating site. Just around me. Not much.

I feel like Friendship for me is easy. No problems that I see.
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Old 7th November 2017, 9:31 AM   #15
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I think that women would be taken aback by that. Guys are more ready for the physical stuff anytime, unless he is really not attracted to her.

In my mind. Even with my female friends observing them, none of them are the type to just start sleeping with anyone or jumping into bed right away.
No doubt some are, but my experiences have been the opposite of yours. Most of my long-term relationships started with first-date sex and the girls/women in question did not need convincing... ..lol..
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