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Struggling guys told to "date-within-your-league"


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Old 9th November 2017, 6:43 PM   #91
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I can tell whether or not to approach a random woman just by her body language. I can also tell within the first 10 seconds whether or not they're feeling me. I'm not pyshic or anything, these are obvious signs.
Because you have the social skills to do that, guys who struggle often cannot read basic body language, it is like a foreign language to them, so they end up chasing women who "obviously" are not interested, and ignoring the women who are.
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Old 9th November 2017, 6:53 PM   #92
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I personally do well in everyday settings. Sometimes a woman's actions or demeanor may signal interest, but even if she doesn't, it may just mean that her mind is on something else. I look probably more approachable than attractive, meaning that I smile a lot, simply because it's more or less my natural disposition. I cannot say that one ethnicity likes me more or less, it's just a very broad spectrum really, and the same goes for looks: It's very hard for me to tell if a woman may or may not find me attractive by her physical appearance, as it has been a pretty broad range in that regard.

But ultimately it is IMHO beneficial if a guy doesn't necessarily limit himself to women who he thinks are available to him. A rejection costs very little, and a chance at somebody may never come again.


I disagree with you. It could be demographics, maybe in your neck of the woods women aren't approached as often. I believe you're in a rural area. (Forgive me if I'm mistaken) We're I am it's very common for women to be cold approached and I think they're sick of it. Perhapsthe signs were there from the beginning, you just didn't notice them?

FYI if you're brown you don't have a whole lot women of other ethnicities taking interest in you. It's not like the white male who's sought after by just about every race of women.
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Old 9th November 2017, 7:12 PM   #93
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I disagree with you. It could be demographics, maybe in your neck of the woods women aren't approached as often. I believe you're in a rural area. (Forgive me if I'm mistaken) We're I am it's very common for women to be cold approached and I think they're sick of it. Perhapsthe signs were there from the beginning, you just didn't notice them?
I live in a rural area but work in a city, but it is in the Midwest. People here are generally friendly, so that makes it easier in the sense that a chat is just that and socially acceptable. But I've found women to be relatively talkative pretty much anywhere. And no, signs are often not there, and the reason is very simple: Many people are just caught up in what they are doing, and are not reacting to your presence at all. There is a lot of neutral body language.

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FYI if you're brown you don't have a whole lot women of other ethnicities taking interest in you. It's not like the white male who's sought after by just about every race of women.
Yes, I am white, so that may make a difference, even though extrapolating from my circle of friends it seems to depend on the individual.
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Old 10th November 2017, 8:16 AM   #94
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One spring, a gal moved into my apartment complex. Long legged, and the right curves in all the right places. Every guy living there had the hots for her. She was a CPA, in fact half owner with an older gentleman of an up an coming local accounting firm. They were using her good looks, to help get new clients. I saw her go out on several dates, many times dressed in Tuxs, going to the ballet, the opera, one rich guy even wore a white tux, and they took off in his street legal LeMans Porsche. Like James Bond. I recognized the assistant fire chief, a local sports broadcaster and a couple of ball players. She was staying for only 6 months as her condo was being totally remodeled. Totally out of my league
But in some ways she was down to earth, liked to hang out at the pool, and some time when we went some where as a group she would come along.
She shot down all of the local guys, and I just tried to be friendly and quite often she would join me out by the pool after it got dark and just talk.
Then one night after a couple of beers we talked talked thru how to do a back flip. I failed on the first try and succeeded on the second and then there she was coming up behind me and telling me how much she was attracted to me.
We ended in a FWB relationship that lasted for half a decade. I ended up with keys to her condo. And it I ever wanted to I could borrow her Datsun Z car and her rebuilt port holer T-Bird. All she asked was that every other week we would go and have Mexican food together. And when the disco craze hit she was my partner.
Shortly after I married she married a local leading architect
Lesson learned, there is nobody out of my league
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Old 10th November 2017, 10:31 AM   #95
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One spring, a gal moved into my apartment complex. Long legged, and the right curves in all the right places. Every guy living there had the hots for her. She was a CPA, in fact half owner with an older gentleman of an up an coming local accounting firm. They were using her good looks, to help get new clients. I saw her go out on several dates, many times dressed in Tuxs, going to the ballet, the opera, one rich guy even wore a white tux, and they took off in his street legal LeMans Porsche. Like James Bond. I recognized the assistant fire chief, a local sports broadcaster and a couple of ball players. She was staying for only 6 months as her condo was being totally remodeled. Totally out of my league
But in some ways she was down to earth, liked to hang out at the pool, and some time when we went some where as a group she would come along.
She shot down all of the local guys, and I just tried to be friendly and quite often she would join me out by the pool after it got dark and just talk.
Then one night after a couple of beers we talked talked thru how to do a back flip. I failed on the first try and succeeded on the second and then there she was coming up behind me and telling me how much she was attracted to me.
We ended in a FWB relationship that lasted for half a decade. I ended up with keys to her condo. And it I ever wanted to I could borrow her Datsun Z car and her rebuilt port holer T-Bird. All she asked was that every other week we would go and have Mexican food together. And when the disco craze hit she was my partner.
Shortly after I married she married a local leading architect
Lesson learned, there is nobody out of my league
Initially you were. And still are. What happened is time let her
see you were not the usual ass hat, combined with that she
wanted sex but did not want hook ups until she met her Mr Right.

You were good enough to scratch her itch while she was waiting.
Not saying I did better.
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Old 10th November 2017, 11:06 AM   #96
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Mine was the trophy wife of a rather well-connected man, who is a former colleague and a friend. I helped her get a job once, and I think she misunderstood my gesture. She would send my emails describing the lingerie she was wearing every workday, and wasn't all that coy about her intentions. But that move would have meant risking my career, plus I didn't want to be the other man in a divorce situation.
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Old 10th November 2017, 11:12 AM   #97
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See here is the problem w the whole "leagues" thing. So what are these "leagues"? Are you the one to make the decision for HER, that she is "out of your league"? Do you even know what she is attracted to? Isn't she allowed to decide for herself whom she wants to know better too

There are plenty of accomplished women--actresses, pro athletes, models, ect, who are perfectly happy w supposedly average guys.

(The other side to this is that if you can see that a woman isn't into you, then let her be. Don't badger her, that is what gives our gender a bad name. She has a right to decide that she is not into a guy too.)

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Old 10th November 2017, 11:28 AM   #98
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It doesn't really matter, I've dated a couple of women who turn heads. That's just a couple of women and the experience was not so great. But that's neither here nor there. My point being, just because someone thinks there are no leagues, isn't magically gonna make hotter women attracted to him. People like who they like. Contrary to LS, women are not psychic, they don't whether or not you believe in leagues.
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Old 10th November 2017, 11:28 AM   #99
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See here is the problem w the whole "leagues" thing. So what are these "leagues"? Are you the one to make the decision for HER, that she is "out of your league"? Do you even know what she is attracted to? Isn't she allowed to decide for herself whom she wants to know better too
That part I can fully agree with!
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Old 10th November 2017, 11:31 AM   #100
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People like who they like. Contrary to LS, women are not psychic, they don't whether or not you believe in leagues.
At the same token, neither you and I are psychics. We don't know what triggers a woman to find somebody attractive. She may not even know herself.
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Old 10th November 2017, 12:05 PM   #101
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That's right, she's either attracted to you or she isn't. Regardless whether you believe in league or you don't. It doesn't matter.
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Old 10th November 2017, 12:55 PM   #102
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The bottom line is you can't worry too much about it...Control what you can control...And don't live your life in the hopes or with the sole purpose of making yourself appealing to the opposite sex...Usually the things that benefit a person the greatest on a personal level(taking care of yourself, living a clean life, being in a good career, etc) will put you in a higher league, or at least give you more opportunities than the next guy with women......

This is especially true as you get some years on you...Most guys at my age haven't seen their dick or their feet in years...Stand out from the crowd if that's what you are going for....

TFY
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Old 14th November 2017, 10:21 AM   #103
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The thing is,you may think you're dating out of your league, but actually you are being used by that person. I think that's what ends up happening.

A lot of girls will date guys a few leagues below her because they are more likely to "worship the ground she walks on".I think I'm attracted to good looking guys but too good looking for this reason. I subconsciously like him to think he scored with me xD. But people can take it too far. Some people purposefully date someone who they know will be there anytime and put up with ANYTHING from them because they're so besotted. That's bad. I think that's what OP is alluding to but I'm not sure. Seems as if he knows she''s more interested so it's not as much effort to keep her around and now he's noticing he's discontent

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Old 14th November 2017, 11:02 AM   #104
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The thing is,you may think you're dating out of your league, but actually you are being used by that person. I think that's what ends up happening.
Most guys I know have developed a pretty good filter for this type of behavior. I owe mine to a very attractive girl named Diane who flirted with me in high school, but only wanted to copy my homework. Unfortunately that filter produced too many false positives, and I almost rejected my last gf because of it.

That being said, it's sad to see people fall for somebody who is obviously playing them.
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Old 14th November 2017, 12:04 PM   #105
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Most guys I know have developed a pretty good filter for this type of behavior. I owe mine to a very attractive girl named Diane who flirted with me in high school, but only wanted to copy my homework. Unfortunately that filter produced too many false positives, and I almost rejected my last gf because of it.

That being said, it's sad to see people fall for somebody who is obviously playing them.
True.

Sorry that girl cheated from you

Last edited by Cookiesandough; 14th November 2017 at 2:19 PM..
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