LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > General > General Relationship Discussion

How do men see single women who go to bars alone?


General Relationship Discussion Everything else under the sun. Not sure where to post? This is the place!

Like Tree43Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 3rd November 2017, 10:09 PM   #1
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,644
How do men see single women who go to bars alone?

I've never been comfortable going to places like that alone, but I recently discovered that a friend of mine goes to bars alone and just enjoys a few drinks by herself.

Are single women at bars viewed in a certain way? I was surprised to hear this not because it's unusual, but because she's rarely ever approached. I always thought that women who are alone and in that environment automatically become easier to approach.

What has been your experience?
Hopeful30 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd November 2017, 10:17 PM   #2
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: east coast
Posts: 6,796
Easy. I used to hit the clubs every weekend and the girl at the bar alone very rarely went home alone. Generally speaking, the ladies that hit the bar alone are usually a regular there. A good tip the the bartender and you can learn a lot about her.
enigma32 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd November 2017, 10:25 PM   #3
Established Member
 
alphamale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Detroit, MI :lmao:
Posts: 32,378
she can't be that good looking if no one approaches her and shes by herself
__________________
Indeed
alphamale is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd November 2017, 11:26 PM   #4
Established Member
 
Cookiesandough's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 4,194
maybe they assume shes waiting for someone. women really dont go to bars alone where im from
Cookiesandough is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd November 2017, 11:50 PM   #5
Established Member
 
jay1983's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Bayou City
Posts: 3,369
I'm picturing a hotel bar or an up scale bar where the bartender wears a vest
__________________
Respect my gangsta
jay1983 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th November 2017, 7:30 AM   #6
Established Member
 
kazen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 165
I think men see them as "free meal". Although one time, when I was at a bar, I notice a beautiful girl walked in and she sat at the bar by herself. Every guy in the bar turn their heads. I assume all the other men were thinking what I was thinking "she must be waiting for her man to show". Well, she order a beer, she drank her beer, watch a little tv, and then pay her bill and left. I remember hearing the one man in the bar call out "WTF no one approach????!!!" LOL
kazen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th November 2017, 9:00 AM   #7
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: Spain
Posts: 62
She goes alone to end up with someone, nothing else.

If you just want to have a glass of wine, you can just light some candles at home and have a bath or listen to music.

I wouldnt consider a woman alone in a bar a good match for a long relationship
warp123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th November 2017, 9:00 AM   #8
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 5,331
I'm happy going to a bar alone but I wouldn't go late evening/night time to a party type bar.

The art to not being approached is not to make eye contact or continually looking around. It works 95% of the time. Most men know to look for a signal prior to an approach.

Usually, if I do go for a drink alone it'll be late afternoon/dusk, not too late and I'll pick a place where there's the ability to watch the world go by or I'll have a book with me - something to focus on.
It's better to take an e-reader or a newspaper if you don't want someone to approach and use whatever you're reading as an opener.

Someone above posted about the TV lady, I suspect she was just watching the TV and not looking around much. Anyone could have approached an the opener would have been whatever was on but it sounds like not one of the men in there got any strong signals as she wasn't giving them out and was just doing her thing.

Utmost to me though is safety in these situations though, from the moment I walk in I'll be friendly with the staff, if I interact with anyone it'll be groups of people, family type groups - that kind of thing. I pick those I interact with very carefully.

If you are thinking of going alone to a bar to meet men then you're likely to be actively looking around and making eye contact - in this case someone or a few may spot that you are not just looking at them and sense what you're doing. In this case you could come across an opportunist up for some fun who doesn't care that you're looking around and is just up for some fun or something more sinister.
I wouldn't recommend going to a bar alone in order to meet men for that very reason.
Pick a safer place, a café/diner, coffee shop, a library even, somewhere you can make a regular place to go where you get to know the staff and regulars a bit.
basil67 likes this.
GemmaUK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th November 2017, 10:22 AM   #9
Established Member
 
smackie9's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Surrey BC Canada
Posts: 11,871
The Look of Desparation

I'm not saying a woman doesn't have the right to go get a drink alone!

But TBH it doesn't set a good impression with anyone. We've had this thread before, and all there was, was a ton of women screaming about their rights, and who said a can't and all that crap. We not talking about that here. It's what people think or get an impression of when they see a woman go to a bar alone....that's it. All kinds of things come to mind, most negative.

Time, place, demographics, can make a difference. Like one person said it wasn't uncommon in a big city to go out alone and it was the norm.

So OP, if it's not a normal or common thing where you go to or live, then you will be setting a negative impression on most.
__________________

You are a fool if you believe that having each others passwords = trust.
smackie9 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th November 2017, 10:33 AM   #10
Established Member
 
alphamale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Detroit, MI :lmao:
Posts: 32,378
Quote:
Originally Posted by jay1983 View Post
I'm picturing a hotel bar or an up scale bar where the bartender wears a vest
smackie9 likes this.
alphamale is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 4th November 2017, 11:01 AM   #11
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 517
Heck, even as a guy I can count on my one hand the times I actually went to a bar alone.
Highndry is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th November 2017, 11:33 AM   #12
Established Member
 
Shanex's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 2,823
Journal Entries: 3
I'd offer her a drink and see where it goes, like Toby Keith.
Shanex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th November 2017, 11:39 AM   #13
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 46,273
Journal Entries: 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopeful30 View Post
I've never been comfortable going to places like that alone, but I recently discovered that a friend of mine goes to bars alone and just enjoys a few drinks by herself.
Everyone socializes differently. When single, it's common to do things alone, or at least make a solitary decision to do something. Myself, I've no real interest in bars in general, even when I was married, but do other stuff alone, and have for decades. The lady does what she does.

Quote:
Are single women at bars viewed in a certain way?
Can't read minds, don't know. When I've run into ostensibly single ladies at bars, I thought there's a lady at a bar like I'm a man at a bar. We drink, we talk, maybe shoot some pool, watch the tube, dance, whatever. It's social.
Quote:
I was surprised to hear this not because it's unusual, but because she's rarely ever approached. I always thought that women who are alone and in that environment automatically become easier to approach.
Some are, some aren't. Women are pretty good at giving off a vibe of 'come hither' or 'stay away'. They learned that, generally, from before puberty.
Quote:
What has been your experience?
Women are all different. The vast majority of women I've run into in bars and clubs are with friends and are generally married, whether they're with their spouses or not.

I recall one LS'er, single, taking me to a local bar one evening and we were there most of the night, I think until 1:30am or so, and no one hit on her and trust me, men hit on her. My guess? Local place, she's a regular and they've all had their go. Didn't know for sure and didn't matter. As a stranger I might have wondered. Usually the barkeeps are chatty with attractive women too but nada. Odd? IDK. Different.
carhill is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th November 2017, 8:28 PM   #14
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 78
Quote:
Originally Posted by carhill View Post
Some are, some aren't. Women are pretty good at giving off a vibe of 'come hither' or 'stay away'. They learned that, generally, from before puberty.
Unfortunately some guys are terrible at reading that vibe, and end up harassing them. Not many but from what I've heard it's enough to be a problem. Which I think is why this thread exists, to see how big the problem is.

Quote:
Originally Posted by carhill View Post
I recall one LS'er, single, taking me to a local bar one evening and we were there most of the night, I think until 1:30am or so, and no one hit on her and trust me, men hit on her. My guess? Local place, she's a regular and they've all had their go. Didn't know for sure and didn't matter. As a stranger I might have wondered. Usually the barkeeps are chatty with attractive women too but nada. Odd? IDK. Different.
I'm guessing that's because there were two (or more?) of you? Groups often feel a bit more intimidating so there is less chance of being hit on. Although the chances don't reduce to zero so I'm still surprised. It would be interesting to test that theory more.

Anyone I see alone at a bar screams confidence (or an attempt at it), which I really appreciate as I don't think I have the same confidence! Although as a few others have hinted it really depends strongly on the type of place you go to.
snowboy91 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 5th November 2017, 8:58 AM   #15
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by warp123 View Post
She goes alone to end up with someone, nothing else.

If you just want to have a glass of wine, you can just light some candles at home and have a bath or listen to music.

I wouldnt consider a woman alone in a bar a good match for a long relationship

I go to bars for live music.
I almost always go alone, although I often know several people there in the fan base.

I have a buddy who uses the local bar as a forced break from work. She puts 80 hours a week into her business, and forces herself to get out of her office and house to get away so she can think more clearly. She comes back several hours later with a second wind.
Does she occasionally met new people there? Sure. But not often. It's a locals place.

To paint all women or men in any bar, anywhere is incredibly simple and thoughtless.
translucentsoul is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Do you think bars have Low Quality Men and Women? jcrew11 Dating 19 11th February 2013 4:46 AM
Women: where to find you OTHER than bars? wwwjd Dating 53 2nd April 2012 10:05 AM
Women at bars cadman Dating 15 15th April 2009 2:47 PM
Help - Boyfriend is going to bars w/ other women DawnK. Archive 2 9th March 2001 8:52 PM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 6:50 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.