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Straight male catching feelings for lesbian housemate?


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Old 26th October 2017, 3:50 PM   #16
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Though I guess you've got to think of your confused and she has even slightly similar feelings then she must be 100x as confused!
Yeah of course, I'm sure!

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Can't you just casually ask her a leading question along the lines of 'has she ever considered dating a guy yada yada'? What she says might give you a strong lead one way or the other.
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Well if you don't think the advice here is based on an accurate assessment of the situation, and you're convinced that she's into you, eventually you're just going to have to find out for yourself.
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I have found that some gay women are actually be bi. It's not our of bounds of possibility.

Ask her a bit more about her life. You say you are close, ask her if she only dated women and how/when did she know she was gay. If she has any interest in you at all, you will know then and without losing face if she isn't interested.
Yeah yeah it's probably a good shout to be honest, its the only way i'll get any answers after all. I'll pick my moment though, i don't want to just blurt that kind of question out, its quite a personal thing..

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Old 26th October 2017, 4:46 PM   #17
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If you ask me 15 times if the sun is not, the answer will always be yes.
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Old 26th October 2017, 4:59 PM   #18
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If you ask me 15 times if the sun is not, the answer will always be yes.
I don't get it?
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Old 29th October 2017, 4:38 PM   #19
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I had a chat with her...

So we had a stomping good night out for Halloween, and then we were just chilling at home nursing our hangovers together this morning (read: sitting on the sofa, under a duvet, in the dark, eating bacon buttys and watching awful tv )

We were just talking about life and that, and I asked her, just like, when she knew she was gay..

She said "quite late really, I just knew that i wasn't into guys the way my friends were and that i found girls attractive but i told myself the whole 'Oh you just find them attractive, appreciating them as good looking doesn't mean you're not straight', I was so scared to come out but when i finally told [her sister] she was like 'yeah no sh*t!' "

Me: "You've never felt that way about a guy then?"

Her: "No.. well, I don't know [long pause] I used to say that but I think now that love is far more powerful that just gender! Like I've not changed or anything, I'm not attracted to guys not in general anyway, but I think I believe that love can transcend sexuality, for anyone, if they choose to let it."

"What, you mean like attraction can grow?"

"Yeah, well it's like it's always the attraction that draws you to a relationship but attractions not enough to make a relationship! There's something more than that which takes you from i fancy you to i love you!
You know that feeling of when you really click with someone and then everything else pales to that!"


Me "yeah ...well no, lol, I don't think I've ever clicked with anyone tbh ....except maybe you!"

"Don't give me 'maybe' boy! I know you too well ...I'm serious though, you sell yourself short Dash, you never let people see the best of you"

Me "You kidding!? Im always telling people how awesome I am! Not my fault they all think im a bit of a f--kboy! " (Maybe you can tell i struggle to take a sincere compliment)

Her: "Argh dont give me that BS!! ..I'm sure that's what some girl, who used to doodle your name in her maths book, told you when you were 14 and for some stupid reason you've spent the rest of your adult life trying to convince the world that it's true! Maybe even convince yourself!'

"But not you"

"Not even close! You're no f--kboy Daniel, you're one of the most genuine kind hearted people I know"
(That hit me somewhere deep in the feels because I haven't heard anyone call me Daniel since my headmaster at school!)

Again any other girl and I'd of leaned in and kissed her; but again I didn't!!!!
Maybe i should of.
I've played it over a few times but i still don't know.
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Old 30th October 2017, 6:19 AM   #20
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i must confess, i feel a sense of glee at the fact that a handsome boy is finally getting his comeuppance. lol

how you feel right now, not being able to have the person you have feelings for, return them, is how many girls how felt about you. it stings, no?

what to do next?

think it thru. if you make a move and you're rejected, you will be living with some really ackward situations and your son might pick up on that. you will lose your bff, make no mistake, you are each other's bff's.

you are also her landlord, and their could be legal ramifications. she might even say she never felt anything for you and attempted to exchange sex for the rent money.

or

you might just keep on the way things are. and the way it is is that you do not possess the, uh, equipment she prefers.

as others have poasted, some gay means bi. and speaking as the mother of a transgender that's gone thru all the genders, things can be fluid, however, the way the brain is wired for what, uh, "floats your boat" doesn't seem to change, over the long haul.

if she gets with you and she's happy with your, uh, "neighborhood" will she stay with that or will she, eventually want to hang where she's most cofortable.

with a woman.

so, you make it to third base, you're crusing along in a perfet relationship with your bff and....

she wants to bring a woman into not only the bed but the house. where your child visits.

would you be jealous? would you just figure, like you, she needs some...uh,...

nevermind

think it thru.

she rejects you and things get ackward, she stays.

she rejects you and moves away and you lose her friendship

she accepts you and you two get your grove going and everythings great until she "reverts" back to what she's telling you she is, lesbian.

good luck
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Old 1st November 2017, 5:40 PM   #21
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i must confess, i feel a sense of glee at the fact that a handsome boy is finally getting his comeuppance. lol

how you feel right now, not being able to have the person you have feelings for, return them, is how many girls how felt about you. it stings, no?
A little harsh no? Of course ive dont things that are less than perfect and some things that i regret, but who can say they havent? All anyone does is their best at the time, right!

Quote:
think it thru. if you make a move and you're rejected, you will be living with some really ackward situations and your son might pick up on that. you will lose your bff, make no mistake, you are each other's bff's.

you are also her landlord, and their could be legal ramifications. she might even say she never felt anything for you and attempted to exchange sex for the rent money.

or

you might just keep on the way things are. and the way it is is that you do not possess the, uh, equipment she prefers.

as others have poasted, some gay means bi. and speaking as the mother of a transgender that's gone thru all the genders, things can be fluid, however, the way the brain is wired for what, uh, "floats your boat" doesn't seem to change, over the long haul.

if she gets with you and she's happy with your, uh, "neighborhood" will she stay with that or will she, eventually want to hang where she's most cofortable.

with a woman.

so, you make it to third base, you're crusing along in a perfet relationship with your bff and....

she wants to bring a woman into not only the bed but the house. where your child visits.

would you be jealous? would you just figure, like you, she needs some...uh,...

nevermind

think it thru.
t's hard because i want an answer, i want to know what she thinks, if there's any chance for us to be more than what we are right now.. buttttttt at the same time i really dont want to ruin what we've got at the moment, the friendship. Its sad to say but the relationship i have with her is probably the best and most fulfilling relationship i've had with a gal, like, in my whole life!!
she rejects you and things get ackward, she stays.

she rejects you and moves away and you lose her friendship

she accepts you and you two get your grove going and everythings great until she "reverts" back to what she's telling you she is, lesbian.

good luck
I know, this is what plays over and over in my head!!
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Old 9th November 2017, 3:35 PM   #22
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Her: "No.. well, I don't know [long pause] I used to say that but I think now that love is far more powerful that just gender! Like I've not changed or anything, I'm not attracted to guys not in general anyway, but I think I believe that love can transcend sexuality, for anyone, if they choose to let it."
....

"Not even close! You're no f--kboy Daniel, you're one of the most genuine kind hearted people I know"
(That hit me somewhere deep in the feels because I haven't heard anyone call me Daniel since my headmaster at school!)
Thats a long way from saying "no, I'm not attracted to guys", you know it, and she knows it!

From that, i'd read she likes you mate! BUT my biggest concern would be how far along the line she is to even admitting that to herself or to sorting out her feelings in her own head.

I'd tread slowlyyy, and honestly i'd be tempted to let her lead... if she wants it, she'll make it happen, right?
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