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What's it mean when man says hookups make vulnerable


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Old 4th October 2017, 9:10 AM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by road View Post
When you leave out the "............" you take the guarded
and vulnerable out of context which makes it impossible to
find the correct meaning.

That leaves you with possible meanings.

1. Guarded he is careful before he makes "that decision"
Which could be he does not want to send the wrong message.

2. Vulnerable he knows he gets to attached with sex and at
this time he does not want to.

3. He did not to have sex with and looked for a way to say
no without hurting feelings.


My message is that he did not want to have sex with you
and the reason does not matter.
Just date men that do.
Why do you believe guys usually friend zone girls and want to continue seeing them? Especially if they met on Tinder? Do you think most just are not as attracted to them as they want to be but are trying to see if the feelings grow like a lot of people (more women) on here do?

I wouldn't say I came off as a total 'lay down'. I am way too awkward for that. Girls who have casual sex have a je se quas and smooth attitude. I make sex jokes but if anything that speaks more to my awkwardness. I think he can tell I am not experienced even if he doesn't believe what I say (my inexperience is hard to believe for most because my age). I did initiate a kiss, but break them off, giggle, and talk about something unrelated because I'm nervous. I even got a little light headed when he was touching me(featherlight on my hands)and fell over and he had to catch me. Besides he hasn't tried to sleep with me so it's not like he can know!

Thanks guys. Sigh ... I guess women don't like a total 'lay down' either because he's just so much more attractive that he doesn't sleep around even when girls come on to him and they must because he's an attractive guy. That makes him like 80% MORE attractive. . . Even if he has a small whatever, don't care. It'd be sad if he had some neurosis like a germaphobe or self conscious about his body though. A lot of guys are just so easy to get but they aren't often that attractive. Often physically speaking but they can sometimes have a decent look but not really my type or their easiness is a turn off. Don't get me wrong, there are many people, both men and women who are not turned off by people who have casual sex. It '17 and there's nothing wrong with it.

But also we have been on 2 dates spanning for many hours. I'd think there'd be more progression from someone typically attracted to someone. I met another guy like this from tinder and we hung out many hours in his house on the third date and he said he wants to wait for the first kiss. Maybe I seem infectious or smthng ...>.>

I'm gonna start looking at new guys

Last edited by Cookiesandough; 4th October 2017 at 9:13 AM..
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Old 4th October 2017, 9:17 AM   #17
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Why is it "over"? What is over? You went on 2 dates, didn't have sex, sounds like it just wasn't going to be anything.

Sure guys are vulnerable if we decide to have sex. Maybe he gets attached, or maybe he had an experience with a woman who got attached and he didn't, or perhaps he realizes that sex can and does lead to pregnancy and that he will be equally responsible for the results as the woman.

Casual sex is often not all that casual.
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Old 4th October 2017, 9:54 AM   #18
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Originally Posted by Cookiesandough View Post
Thanks guys. Sigh ... I guess women don't like a total 'lay down' either because he's just so much more attractive that he doesn't sleep around even when girls come on to him and they must because he's an attractive guy. That makes him like 80% MORE attractive. . . Even if he has a small whatever, don't care. It'd be sad if he had some neurosis like a germaphobe or self conscious about his body though. A lot of guys are just so easy to get but they aren't often that attractive. Often physically speaking but they can sometimes have a decent look but not really my type or their easiness is a turn off. Don't get me wrong, there are many people, both men and women who are not turned off by people who have casual sex. It '17 and there's nothing wrong with it.
There is always a risk, both emotional and physical/material with having sex. It's not exactly like shaking hands. I personally, with one exception, never had sex with anybody who I couldn't see as a long-term girlfriend. I would consider not having a hook-up for the sake of it a sign of maturity, regardless of the person's physical appearance.
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