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Ex is giving me a hard time ( pregnancy involved)


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Old 1st October 2017, 8:43 AM   #1
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Ex is giving me a hard time ( pregnancy involved)

Me and my ex have been broken up for a while, but our situation is a little different...

during our break up we found out that I was pregnant. We were getting along for a while but I guess my hormones went all crazy for that fact that when I refused to go see him he would get so mad at me that he would cuss me out. Because of that I told him not to talk to me unless it has to do with the pregnancy . Mind you he wanted it to work all that time .

At this point he wants nothing to do with me . He resents me for the way that I act. I get crazy when I'm trying to make plans for the abortion and he won't talk about it unless I come over , that made me go off . It gives me anxiety like I'm trapped, there's no reason for me to go over, I have that choice . He got upset because that's all I would talk to him about and not "us"

Read my threads for the reason why we broke up and don't want to see him. He kept cheating on me, was physically abusive and verbally which is why I refuse to go see him.

Theres no clinics in my city I have to travel over an hour and since I don't want anyone but him and I knowing i can't ask anyone to take me.

At this point he says he can't handle my mood swings and will hardly talk to me.

What should I do at this point ? Leave him alone ? I have been nagging him and he calls me annoying and says I find a way to fight over everything .
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Old 1st October 2017, 8:47 AM   #2
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He's already abusive. The same reasons that drove you to break up with him are the reasons you can't rely on him to help you now.

Confide in somebody -- your mom, your BFF, somebody. Get them to drive you. Call the clinic & ask them for suggestions. You can't be the 1st woman in this situation who doesn't have much support.

Best wishes.
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Old 1st October 2017, 8:53 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
He's already abusive. The same reasons that drove you to break up with him are the reasons you can't rely on him to help you now.

Confide in somebody -- your mom, your BFF, somebody. Get them to drive you. Call the clinic & ask them for suggestions. You can't be the 1st woman in this situation who doesn't have much support.

Best wishes.
I have thought about that believe me, but its not so easy I can't tell my mom and everyone in close to is close to my family and it will get around .

All I'm asking from him is a ride. Why can't he put his feelings aside and just help me out. It's his responsibility no one else's.
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Old 1st October 2017, 9:14 AM   #4
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He can't put his feelings aside & help you for the same reasons he abused you. He's an unfeeling selfish cad.

Even if your family is close & you can't tell them, tell a BFF. Tell somebody. You have a ticking clock & you need help.
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Old 1st October 2017, 10:03 AM   #5
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He can't put his feelings aside & help you for the same reasons he abused you. He's an unfeeling selfish cad.

Even if your family is close & you can't tell them, tell a BFF. Tell somebody. You have a ticking clock & you need help.
That's the thing I don't really have anyone hes really been the only one .

Do I just wait and give him space I overwhelmed him with my mood swings...kinna my fault
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Old 1st October 2017, 10:54 AM   #6
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No, you can't wait. It's urgent that you deal with your pregnancy now. If you choose to terminate time is of the essence. If you choose to continue it, prenatal care is also urgent. Start taking a multi-vitamin to prevent birth defects. How old are you?
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Old 1st October 2017, 4:22 PM   #7
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I'm well aware that it's urgent but he's the only one who I can depend on.
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Old 1st October 2017, 4:24 PM   #8
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I'm well aware that it's urgent but he's the only one who I can depend on.
You CAN'T depend on him. That is the problem.

I think you are going to have to break down & tell your parents. The will probably be more supportive then you think.
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Old 3rd October 2017, 1:22 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by Hurtx10 View Post
Me and my ex have been broken up for a while, but our situation is a little different...

during our break up we found out that I was pregnant. We were getting along for a while but I guess my hormones went all crazy for that fact that when I refused to go see him he would get so mad at me that he would cuss me out. Because of that I told him not to talk to me unless it has to do with the pregnancy . Mind you he wanted it to work all that time .

At this point he wants nothing to do with me . He resents me for the way that I act. I get crazy when I'm trying to make plans for the abortion and he won't talk about it unless I come over , that made me go off . It gives me anxiety like I'm trapped, there's no reason for me to go over, I have that choice . He got upset because that's all I would talk to him about and not "us"

Read my threads for the reason why we broke up and don't want to see him. He kept cheating on me, was physically abusive and verbally which is why I refuse to go see him.

Theres no clinics in my city I have to travel over an hour and since I don't want anyone but him and I knowing i can't ask anyone to take me.

At this point he says he can't handle my mood swings and will hardly talk to me.

What should I do at this point ? Leave him alone ? I have been nagging him and he calls me annoying and says I find a way to fight over everything .

There's obviously a ton to think about and process here, but I'd like to ask what an ideal situation looks like for you? All the outside noise on mute; all the distractions and anxieties aside...what do you want out of this? What is an outcome you would find joy in? What resolution would be best for you?

And then, what needs are not being met at this time?

No doubt, this is one of the most challenging situations you could experience. There is nothing annoying or crazy about you...you're dealing in the best way you know how. However, I feel as though answering some of those questions could alleviate the stress and anxiety you're going through right now.
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Old 3rd October 2017, 1:36 PM   #10
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I'm well aware that it's urgent but he's the only one who I can depend on.
This is a man that has cheated on you, physically and verbally abused you.

Why do you think that this is someone that can be depended on? Why do you think he is someone that can support you? It's time you start working on a different plan. Remove him as your support system. It's unrealistic.

Time is of the essence. Talk to a friend or your parents. Call the clinic and ask for suggestions i.e. how long is procedure, can you travel on your own, etc. If this is something you have to endure on your own, then you have to find the strength to do it. If you need someone by your side, tell your parents or reach out to a close friend.

This man is not an option.
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