Lonleygirl72 Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 Both she and my son are 25 and have been together for just over 9 years.I received an e-mail from someone who has sent me evidence that she has been cheating on him for the past 5 years with his BFF. I talked with her about it and She convinced me and his sister to not say anything . Most of the time it happens it when hes out of town town or at work. I know that she cheated on him last night. I have NO idea how to handle this. Hey Parents out there as a Mom ,should I say anything to my son or just let it work itself out and he will figure it out soon enough? Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 If you know 100% that it is true then why on earth would you agree not to say anything?? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
PinkPampies Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 I have a son and you can bet I would tell him. I think he'd want to know... 4 Link to post Share on other sites
merrmeade Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 There was a thread this year, in fact, about someone who was cheated on and his mother had known. He was devastated and felt betrayed by his family as well. I can't for the life of me think of a reasonwhy you'd keep such a secret and lie by omission to your own child. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Davey L Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 Could you perhaps explain how on earth you were convinced not to tell him? It is almost beyond belief that you would conspire with her to conceal her affair from your own son. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Cephalopod Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 What kind of mom colludes with a girl who is using and abusing her son? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 LG72... I am not trying to be mean in any way, I want you to understand that. But the fact that you are asking this question kind of explains why your son may be kind of a clueless loser. I assure you that he has seen the red flags of his GF's infidelity and he chose to ignore them. So that would make him kind of a weak man. Not what you want him to be as a parent, I'm sure. Yes you tell him. Today!!!! He is going to be hurt and he will be in great pain, but you have to do this for him, especially as his Mom. His girlfriend is not his GF she actually belongs to his BFF. She is a horrible person and does not deserve your son. He absolutely deserves better. His BFF is not his BFF, he is a piece of crap human being. Your son will need to cut both of them out of his life forever. You need to read some of these threads about infidelity to understand what to advise your son to do. Tell him: 1) No contact with both forever. 2) Do not play the pick me game. 3) Do not drowned his sorrow is booze or drugs. 4) Get into therapy today. 5) Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move forward. Good luck... Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 There is absolutely no way I would have went to her first rather than my son. I would have told him immediately what I found out and let him handle his gf and bff. If I were your son I would be so angry with you I don't know what I would do. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 Are there kids involved here? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 Both she and my son are 25 and have been together for just over 9 years.I received an e-mail from someone who has sent me evidence that she has been cheating on him for the past 5 years with his BFF. I talked with her about it and She convinced me and his sister to not say anything . Most of the time it happens it when hes out of town town or at work. I know that she cheated on him last night. I have NO idea how to handle this. Hey Parents out there as a Mom ,should I say anything to my son or just let it work itself out and he will figure it out soon enough? You have got to be kidding me????????? Link to post Share on other sites
merrmeade Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 he will figure it out soon enough? Just to be sure you got this: He WILL find out, not only about her betrayal, but about his mother's as well. The damage you're doing to your relationship with your son compounds every day you keep it secret. It's not too late. Link to post Share on other sites
Maddieandtae Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 Your son is not a clueless loser. Forward him the email and cc his girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 Don't be aligning with her cheating butt. You need to show him the evidence and let him know you already showed her but all she did was beg you not to tell. But then back off and let him deal with it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lonleygirl72 Posted September 23, 2017 Author Share Posted September 23, 2017 Are there kids involved here? Yes there is Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 Yes there is So who's the daddy? Wild horses could not keep me away from telling my son his girlfriend was banging some other guy, who is probably banging other girls....think of all of the germs being spread around..... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 Yes there is I thought so. You are thus in no hurry to rock the boat. Last thing you would want is for her to parcel up the kids, move away and you never see them again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lonleygirl72 Posted September 23, 2017 Author Share Posted September 23, 2017 I've had this information for about 4 years now Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lonleygirl72 Posted September 23, 2017 Author Share Posted September 23, 2017 So who's the daddy? Wild horses could not keep me away from telling my son his girlfriend was banging some other guy, who is probably banging other girls....think of all of the germs being spread around..... Wild horses?????? Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 I've had this information for about 4 years now What?! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Davey L Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 I've had this information for about 4 years now Is this real? I just cannot comprehend your thinking on this. Unless you can offer some rationale for your actions (and I cannot for the life of me think of one) then you will get a lot of criticism on here. It seems that for four years you have conspired against your son with this cheating woman. You must really hate your son. I suspect that when this comes out he will really hate you too - quite possibly you will never see him again afterwards. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lonleygirl72 Posted September 23, 2017 Author Share Posted September 23, 2017 Is this real? I just cannot comprehend your thinking on this. Unless you can offer some rationale for your actions (and I cannot for the life of me think of one) then you will get a lot of criticism on here. It seems that for four years you have conspired against your son with this cheating woman. You must really hate your son. I suspect that when this comes out he will really hate you too - quite possibly you will never see him again afterwards. No I don't hate him, it's just she and my daughters are bff Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lonleygirl72 Posted September 23, 2017 Author Share Posted September 23, 2017 THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR OPINIONS This evidence has been in my possesion for over 4 years now and I haven't told until this point and I have made up my mind not to tell. If these things come out and I am asked I will give what I know, but will not be the one who brings it out. The only reason I have thought of telling is because people have said that he "deserves to know". I think he is better off not knowing, will save him a lot of hurt now. I truly believe that in the end people's true colors will show through. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 No I don't hate him, it's just she and my daughters are bff So just because she is bff with your daughter you cannot tell? If I were your son I would also cut your daughter out of my life, along with you, because you both are betraying him. I hope God will lift the veil over your son's eyes soon. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR OPINIONS This evidence has been in my possesion for over 4 years now and I haven't told until this point and I have made up my mind not to tell. If these things come out and I am asked I will give what I know, but will not be the one who brings it out. The only reason I have thought of telling is because people have said that he "deserves to know". I think he is better off not knowing, will save him a lot of hurt now. I truly believe that in the end people's true colors will show through. He does deserve to know!! I could never hide something like that from either of my sons....if their gf's were cheating, I doubt I could even be civil to them. You should confront the witch and the bff and ask which one of the 3 of you is going to tell your son. He will be more hurt that you've kept this from him when he finds out. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR OPINIONS This evidence has been in my possesion for over 4 years now and I haven't told until this point and I have made up my mind not to tell. If these things come out and I am asked I will give what I know, but will not be the one who brings it out. The only reason I have thought of telling is because people have said that he "deserves to know". I think he is better off not knowing, will save him a lot of hurt now. I truly believe that in the end people's true colors will show through. You and I have completely different moral codes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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