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Can you unconsciously betrayed yourself by the physical attraction?


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So you think you do your best not to show any physical attraction. You think you act normally toward that person as anyone else. you don't linger your looks. You don't really try to talk to that person. you don't act excited or happy when around that person.

 

Can that person still be able to feel it? is there a vibe? then if that's the case, what else can one do?

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Much depends on the perception of the target, secondarily how good of an actor or actress one is. Some folks are clueless if/when another person finds them attractive; others are very sensitive to even the smallest details.

 

In general, for those who study the human condition, nearly all of us, unless we're highly trained, have tells. Expressions, body language, involuntary movements, stuff that indicates 'like'. Can we hide that? Varies. Is it opaque to the target? Varies.

 

I generally will only play that game if the person is married and I don't wish to trouble them with any uncomfortable situations. Usually I can process out the impetus for the tells and things settle down. Old adage of we often have a hard time controlling who we're attracted to.

 

Generally, I'm an advocate of transparency and authenticity. Relationships seem to go better that way, however they work out. Up to you. Good luck!

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So you think you do your best not to show any physical attraction. You think you act normally toward that person as anyone else. you don't linger your looks. You don't really try to talk to that person. you don't act excited or happy when around that person.

 

Can that person still be able to feel it? is there a vibe? then if that's the case, what else can one do?

 

If you hide all that then how are things ever gonna progress between the two of you???

 

I have always been pretty obvious. But just lately Ive been ridiculous. I just light up and cant stop smiling and I blush. Its a little embarrassing. But it always gets their attention.

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Some people are good at masking the real feelings but a keen ( interested ) eye can look behind it. Once that is off, you need to make an extra effort to hide and the keen person , makes an extra effort to still look behind. The cycle continues till , well, you know you can't put the mask in front of this particular person. Then the story begins lol.

 

Not everyone has this much time, patience etc etc in this world of fast forward living.

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If you hide all that then how are things ever gonna progress between the two of you???.

 

That used to be my problem. but not in this case.

 

It's just wrong( or maybe even evil). He is too much younger than me. maybe even worse than married.

 

I think he depressed me, because I feel like he has a bad attitude at work and seems have something hold against me. maybe indeed young dumb and full of xxx.

 

besides, there are too many beautiful young women his age out there. I just look alright(maybe). I don't think I have any special appeals to someone that has lots of options.

 

men indeed is bad news for me. Nothing really happen, but I feel depressed already.

 

Gosh, life is cruel...for me. you are biologically designed for something that you can't really get.

 

It's a good thing that my cat finally got neutered a couple months ago. Trouble free now.

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Talk about young...I think of the analogy of car age and mileage. I grew up in a conservative culture and personally I believe pre-marriage sex is sinful. now of course I don't know anything anymore. so many things turn out to be the exact opposite.

 

in fact, I probably really know nothing about life and myself. not trying to be philosophical. It just seems indeed is the case for me.

 

Western guys his age have lots of mileage already when it comes to that department. while me on the other hand is car parked on a garage since it is produced. so here we go. my greatest secret and probably beyond believe to all people.

 

I guess my life just full of dissonance and disconnects. Sometimes I feel I am pulling apart by all these opposite forces in life.

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So you think you do your best not to show any physical attraction. You think you act normally toward that person as anyone else. you don't linger your looks. You don't really try to talk to that person. you don't act excited or happy when around that person.

 

Can that person still be able to feel it? is there a vibe? then if that's the case, what else can one do?

 

Infatuation, desperation, attraction come out in ways that people don't even realize. Lot's of times, a friend will tell a person that they are in love with or infatuated with someone before that person even acknowledges it to themselves.

 

Frankly, I don't think you need to "control" that emotion/attraction so much as be able to deal with it maturely and not act impulsively on it. So what if a person knows you're attracted to them so long as you don't do anything to cross a boundary or anything?

 

If you're thinking that any inkling of that kind of thing by a guy is going to be off putting to them and they turn away, it's just that they aren't as attracted to you. So be it. It's not that inkling that causes a problem. They feel the way they feel toward you regardless.

 

Or, if you're thinking that if they think you're physically attracted to them and, perhaps, an easy target for an ONS or something, so what? You have control over whether that happens or not.

 

If you like someone, you don't need to try to completely disguise and negate it. Be natural, be mature and use it to your advantage in the sense of letting them know you're attracted to them. There's nothing wrong with that. Like I said, respect boundaries, create your own and be mature.

 

You can also be attracted to a guy without actually wanting or expecting attention from them. If that's happening, again, you have control over that. You can thwart their advances if they do approach you.

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My boudaries are perhaps a bit more internal. If I'm not available, I shut down thoughts of other women almost instinctively. It's not that I don't notice attractive women; but I would say that I don't allow myself to entertain those thoughts for any period of time. It's almost like an invisible stop sign. I find that infatuation doesn't happen when I simply move on to the next thing in life.

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Frankly, I don't think you need to "control" that emotion/attraction so much as be able to deal with it maturely and not act impulsively on it. So what if a person knows you're attracted to them so long as you don't do anything to cross a boundary or anything?

 

If you're thinking that any inkling of that kind of thing by a guy is going to be off putting to them and they turn away, it's just that they aren't as attracted to you. So be it. It's not that inkling that causes a problem. They feel the way they feel toward you regardless.

 

Or, if you're thinking that if they think you're physically attracted to them and, perhaps, an easy target for an ONS or something, so what? You have control over whether that happens or not.

 

ONS probably is the only thing that could happen. I kind of imply we have huge age difference. could be twice. so it's very embarrassing for them even to know I am attracted. so I don't want him to know. I doubt I how attracted I am though. maybe I am just horny and desperate and lonely?

 

intimacy seems a very foreign and strange thing to me, both physical and/or mentally. maybe I am too self-centre. I afraid of intimacy. but deep down I crave them. It seems I am very contradictory and multi-layers.

 

hey, as a bit consolation...I just had a facial. my last facial was 2-3 years ago. I am lazy and cheap. anyhow, I asked my facialist how old she thinks I am. she said 20's? I said no. she then said 30's? I said no. then she was too shocked and disbelieved.

 

so I may not look much older than the person almost half my age.

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