Jump to content

Too bad a communicator/egoistic/self-center to be with anyone?


Recommended Posts

So I half-heartily try this OLD. I think I actually received many messages, but I rarely reply.

 

So finally I found a guy who seems interested and met all my criteria. So we started conversation. He mentioned he has white fetish( I wear all white), and I just made some like joking... the convo seemed went fine... we exchanges a few replies. My latest reply took 2 days I think. anyhow, in my latest msg, paraphrase what I said: "so you are a vagan (in his pic)? I just ate 10 piece of chicken wings. I love meat. I admire people who don't eat meat, but I just can't.... what's wrong with leftist media? (he mentioned not leftist media in his profile). I thought all media are owned by right wing people. only left-wing media are publicly funded..."

 

no reply for 2 days, then now I checked, wow, he deleted his profile altogether!

 

man, what I said was so bad? how did I come across? gosh...

 

I think I am really doomed...even OLD is precarious...:( why? the only one who seems interesting out of tons. and then this happened. It seems I can't do no right. I can't even talk properly?

Edited by Springsummer
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
Might not have anything to do with you or your replies. There is a pretty good chance he met someone else and decided to delete his profile.

 

why things always not working out for me? someone new already? we just started an interested convo a few days ago!

Link to post
Share on other sites

So not only did you made his veganism about you, you boasted about eating chicken. A better way to comment on it would have been "so, how did you get into being a vegan?" What challenges do you find? Are you open to dating someone who is omnivore?

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
So not only did you made his veganism about you, you boasted about eating chicken. A better way to comment on it would have been "so, how did you get into being a vegan?" What challenges do you find? Are you open to dating someone who is omnivore?

 

so, was it really that bad? I guess I am too egocentric, being living by myself all my life. I am just too used to living in my own universe. but I thought he could just take it light heartily? Can't he take some adversaries? so people can't take it too well?

 

If I were that person, will I shut him down just because of that?

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
No one here knows you well enough to answer this for you accurately.

 

 

 

With the way OLD works, you were likely not the only lady he was talking to. He may have already met someone by the time you started talking to him, but they hadn't yet decided to be official. That's how it usually works on there.

 

yes, I guess.

 

I don't think he found someone though. because he just has one sentence in his description: "come to this site again because of boring at night , and may see some familiar faces and some new ones".

Link to post
Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic

I think a lot is being lost in translation here, but you kinda bashed veganism and then discussed politics in the same message while just chatting online before meeting? Am I understanding this correctly?

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
You're over thinking things. He may have written that profile out months ago. It doesn't mean much of anything.

 

Thanks for making me feel much better!

 

but... he said he has white fetish...who else wear a dress in 100% white on that site? maybe he is just a great conversatioionist....oh well...

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
I think a lot is being lost in translation here, but you kinda bashed veganism and then discussed politics in the same message while just chatting online before meeting? Am I understanding this correctly?

 

yes...did I bash? I didn't say anything bad about veganism. I just said I love meat.

 

what's wrong with discussing politics? I personally think we should have some publicly funded media.

 

oh, geesus...men in this city are precious. may have to consider moving to another city!

Edited by Springsummer
  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
yes...did I bash? I didn't say anything bad about veganism. I just said I love meat.

 

what's wrong with discussing politics? I personally think we should have some publicly funded media.

 

oh, geesus...men in this city are precious. may have to consider moving to another city!

 

If the examples you gave are how you often talk, it's not the men. It's you.

 

While I wouldn't use the word "bash" about your vegan comment, it did show that you're more interested in talking about yourself than in learning about the other guy. And it was tactless as well. Did you read the alternative script I wrote?

 

Nothing wrong with discussing politics, but two lines of text is not the vehicle to do so.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
so, was it really that bad? I guess I am too egocentric, being living by myself all my life. I am just too used to living in my own universe. but I thought he could just take it light heartily? Can't he take some adversaries? so people can't take it too well?

 

If I were that person, will I shut him down just because of that?

 

I'd shut down a potential date if they responded like you did. It could be any topic. I might say to someone "I like to sew clothes". If they ask me about how I got into it, then we're getting somewhere. But if someone I barely know responds by talking about their own hobby.....or teases me about mine, I would't bother any further.

 

That said, you teased a VEGAN. I am yet to meet a vegan who is light hearted about their veganism. Being vegan isn't so much about food choices, it's about ethics.

 

A lot of people also don't want adversaries in their lives either. They'd prefer to have a partner who is respectful and who doesn't poke fun at their choices.

Link to post
Share on other sites
So I half-heartily try this OLD. I think I actually received many messages, but I rarely reply.

 

So finally I found a guy who seems interested and met all my criteria. So we started conversation. He mentioned he has white fetish( I wear all white), and I just made some like joking... the convo seemed went fine... we exchanges a few replies. My latest reply took 2 days I think. anyhow, in my latest msg, paraphrase what I said: "so you are a vagan (in his pic)? I just ate 10 piece of chicken wings. I love meat. I admire people who don't eat meat, but I just can't.... what's wrong with leftist media? (he mentioned not leftist media in his profile). I thought all media are owned by right wing people. only left-wing media are publicly funded..."

 

no reply for 2 days, then now I checked, wow, he deleted his profile altogether!

 

man, what I said was so bad? how did I come across? gosh...

 

I think I am really doomed...even OLD is precarious...:( why? the only one who seems interesting out of tons. and then this happened. It seems I can't do no right. I can't even talk properly?

 

Why are you assuming it's YOU? There could be a million reasons he took down his profile . . . the other woman he was dating demanded it, his wife found out, the site took him down because of reports from other users, he's a scam artist who moves from site to site quickly when he doesn't get bites or when he does, he needs to hide, ad infinitum.

 

Apart from that . . . I thought all media are owned by right wing people. only left-wing media are publicly funded..."

 

Politics makes strange bedfellows or better said "estranged" bedfellows. It's probably not a good idea to go down the road of politics or religion as opening/get to know you conversations. That's best left for when the relationship is more firmly rooted, IMO.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

sigh...incorrigible...I easily forget to be tactful. Maybe I am too use to be alone/living in my own universe. I am self-absorbed sometimes. but I think I am a very sensitive and caring person? I am full of contradictions.

 

yes, it does look like I am doomed. only wish I could really enjoy being alone and have no desires and needs, then I could forget all about this man thing.

 

No man no worry.

Link to post
Share on other sites
sigh...incorrigible...I easily forget to be tactful. Maybe I am too use to be alone/living in my own universe. I am self-absorbed sometimes. but I think I am a very sensitive and caring person? I am full of contradictions.

 

yes, it does look like I am doomed. only wish I could really enjoy being alone and have no desires and needs, then I could forget all about this man thing.

 

No man no worry.

 

A woman doesn't need a man to make her happy. She needs to be able to do that for herself. Having a man in your life should only enhance/add to the happiness she already has for herself.

 

And, I would rather be alone and a little lonely sometimes than be with someone who isn't right for me and feeling lonely anyway.

 

When you can learn to treat yourself well and focus on all the other things that life has to offer, those carnal wants and needs won't be in the forefront of your thinking so often nor will they seem so important. Yes, they are natural longings. And, I do like the adage "if you want something done right, you sometimes just have to do it yourself" :) There's nothing wrong with that and, while it's not exactly what you want, it does relief stress and helps you turn your focus away from that area of "need" for a little while at least.

Edited by Redhead14
  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
A woman doesn't need a man to make her happy. She needs to be able to do that for herself. Having a man in your life should only enhance/add to the happiness she already has for herself.

True

And, I would rather be alone and a little lonely sometimes than be with someone who isn't right for me and feeling lonely anyway.

 

yes. That's true too. so I have never compromised. but still wish I could find someone who is right for me. now that boat seems has sailed.

 

 

When you can learn to treat yourself well and focus on all the other things that life has to offer, those carnal wants and needs won't be in the forefront of your thinking so often nor will they seem so important.

Trying...

 

Yes, they are natural longings. And, I do like the adage "if you want something done right, you sometimes just have to do it yourself" :) There's nothing wrong with that and, while it's not exactly what you want, it does relief stress and helps you turn your focus away from that area of "need" for a little while at least.

 

yes, I have been doing that. Don't know that help or not help my life, but I just can't help it.

 

Thanks for all the helpful advise. sometimes it's nice to have someone who will care enough to read and write to you. I love the anonymity of the internet.

Link to post
Share on other sites

still wish I could find someone who is right for me. now that boat seems has sailed.

 

It is a natural desire to want a special someone in your life and experience passion. Accepting that, right now, that isn't an option and turning your focus to finding and discovering that there are other things in life you can be passionate about, will help you. Try new things, anything and everything, join clubs, groups, go bowling even by yourself. Find something you can put yourself into. For me, it was photography. I love to take drives on beautiful days and just look for interesting things to take pictures of. Sometimes it was just the way the light was hitting some thing that inspired me to stop.

 

For me, I found myself completely "taken away" from things that bothered me, the stresses of life, etc. I also joined a photography club and they have regular group field trips for learning and socializing. It's pretty nice.

 

But, just find yourself something like that. Develop hobbies and interests. That is an excellent way to meet new people, be relaxed and, who knows, who you will meet? :) Don't go into with that purpose. Go into it to free yourself and be happy and relaxed. That is often the time when you find someone -- when you least expect it or even thinking about it.

 

Spending time thinking about what you don't have creates depression, anxiety even if you aren't really aware of it. Spend time thinking about the good things you do have and could have.

 

Go out and buy yourself something you've always wanted. Put some flowers on the table, spruce your place up, change up the environment a little bit. Do at least one nice little thing for yourself every day. Make it a habit.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
still wish I could find someone who is right for me. now that boat seems has sailed.

 

It is a natural desire to want a special someone in your life and experience passion. Accepting that, right now, that isn't an option and turning your focus to finding and discovering that there are other things in life you can be passionate about, will help you. Try new things, anything and everything, join clubs, groups, go bowling even by yourself. Find something you can put yourself into. For me, it was photography. I love to take drives on beautiful days and just look for interesting things to take pictures of. Sometimes it was just the way the light was hitting some thing that inspired me to stop.

 

For me, I found myself completely "taken away" from things that bothered me, the stresses of life, etc. I also joined a photography club and they have regular group field trips for learning and socializing. It's pretty nice.

 

But, just find yourself something like that. Develop hobbies and interests. That is an excellent way to meet new people, be relaxed and, who knows, who you will meet? :) Don't go into with that purpose. Go into it to free yourself and be happy and relaxed. That is often the time when you find someone -- when you least expect it or even thinking about it.

 

Spending time thinking about what you don't have creates depression, anxiety even if you aren't really aware of it. Spend time thinking about the good things you do have and could have.

 

Go out and buy yourself something you've always wanted. Put some flowers on the table, spruce your place up, change up the environment a little bit. Do at least one nice little thing for yourself every day. Make it a habit.

 

You are right!

 

I think I have some much passions and talents! and I just waste them because of the holding backs of the some unfulfilling aspects of life. I sort of know, but never really master the courage and determination to live life as best as I could.

 

I should be very careful with what I listening to too. I am now listening to epic music and that is really motivating and uplifting. Listening to love songs or melodrama songs make me very depressed and sluggish.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...