ZayKayWill Posted September 11, 2017 Share Posted September 11, 2017 I think like most of you I came here looking for advice on my break up. My brother referred me here. Not sure if there are some people on here who signed up just to 'volunteer' and help people in need make their lives a little better? Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted September 11, 2017 Share Posted September 11, 2017 I have noticed the majority of folks come here for either advice about a breakup or to use the site as a magic eight ball to ask if someone is interested in them/still loves them. I did come here just to participate in discussions about relationships. It's a topic I enjoy talking about. Even though I'm not in one! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
wmacbride Posted September 11, 2017 Share Posted September 11, 2017 A combination of 420, Firefox and insomnia. Also, I am nosy, very, very nosy. What kept me? There are lots of ideas and opinions on here, and I find that really interesting, even if I don't always agree wihtt he person. There are also many caring people, and when I am feeling bad, coming here lets me see there are people who care enough to try and help a total stranger, bu supportive of others and generally try and make the world a better place. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Larryville Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 There are also many caring people, and when I am feeling bad, coming here lets me see there are people who care enough to try and help a total stranger, bu supportive of others and generally try and make the world a better place. ^ This is really the bottom line and that this is not a racial, ethnic, religious, gender, political, young or old age specific, rich, poor, and participants from many countries… The long time participants don’t participate “to be right” but to try and give the poster an honest and different perspective. People don’t get personal for the most part, lots of just simply good reading material and you quickly find that we all basically have the same issues, we are not alone in what we go thru. Because the forum is so diverse (I'm a 53 year old single dude from Kansas) sometimes I can get really good advice or perspective from someone the polar opposite of me demographically. We all shine a different light on an issue. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BikerAccnt Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 I don't remember what really brought me here in the first place. I'm sure I was looking for some type of relationship answer, or insight. I've always enjoyed talking about, and listening to relationship problems. Which, considering in my profession I'm a numbers guy, is somewhat at odds. I often wondered if I'd missed my calling. As others have said, I've found this a good place to get a range of opinions from a range of ages, nationalities and cultures. Unlike Reddit's relationship boards, which tend to be populated by younger folk, there is a good mix here, and more people who's experience I can relate to. - I'm just about to turn 57 in two weeks - I'm in a good place now, in a great relationship with few issues. But I've been here in bad relationships, and in none. I keep coming back, must be something. Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 I was the OM in an affair. Before getting into the affair, I had been very proud that hadn't cheated. "I would never do something like that." Very judgmental of cheaters in general. That sort of person. But, there I was. Conflicted. What was even more bothersome is it was fun to me. Our meetings were sporadic but crazy. Loads of fun and the sex was incredible. Anyway, as I said, I was conflicted and needed answers. I ended the affair. Haven't seen her in three years. Been tempted, but I haven't gone back though she still holds a candle for me. Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 I was cheating - at the time not another person in the world knew about it, and I just had to get it off my chest / talk about it. I started a thread before reading much of anything here. I remember that I posted in the infidelity section rather than the other woman section. Posters warned me that I should move it because I wouldn't be given much empathy, rather get roasted for what I was doing. But I didn't come here for "support" I came for the tough love and insights. I remember saying that I was a big girl and I could take it - which I did. Am very grateful I came and stayed - D day would have been much uglier without what I learned here. And I continue to learn, the human condition and relationships are fascinating to me - so I stay. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 And I continue to learn, the human condition and relationships are fascinating to me - so I stay. The human condition. Well said. It's fascinating to me too. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZayKayWill Posted September 12, 2017 Author Share Posted September 12, 2017 I was cheating - at the time not another person in the world knew about it, and I just had to get it off my chest / talk about it. I started a thread before reading much of anything here. I remember that I posted in the infidelity section rather than the other woman section. Posters warned me that I should move it because I wouldn't be given much empathy, rather get roasted for what I was doing. But I didn't come here for "support" I came for the tough love and insights. I remember saying that I was a big girl and I could take it - which I did. Am very grateful I came and stayed - D day would have been much uglier without what I learned here. And I continue to learn, the human condition and relationships are fascinating to me - so I stay. Was this during the time your husband cheated on you? Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 Was this during the time your husband cheated on you? No, that was about 5 years prior to mine - Didn't know about LS then - went the old school method, professional counseling Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 I had to find a substitute for a psychology advice forum I used to participate in because I missed it (The doc got tired of paying someone to maintain it). It was a completely different tone than here and lots of fun at times. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZayKayWill Posted September 12, 2017 Author Share Posted September 12, 2017 I had to find a substitute for a psychology advice forum I used to participate in because I missed it (The doc got tired of paying someone to maintain it). It was a completely different tone than here and lots of fun at times. Kinda makes me wonder why a doctor would pay someone to maintain a forum like that in the first place. Like, why pay someone for that? Was the forums making him money somehow? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 Kinda makes me wonder why a doctor would pay someone to maintain a forum like that in the first place. Like, why pay someone for that? Was the forums making him money somehow? He was promoting a couple of books over a few years. Once he didn't have a book to promote, he didn't want the expense of the person he had do most of the work on there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZayKayWill Posted September 12, 2017 Author Share Posted September 12, 2017 He was promoting a couple of books over a few years. Once he didn't have a book to promote, he didn't want the expense of the person he had do most of the work on there. Huh makes sense. Most forum sites I know were hosted voluntarily while a few others made money via ads. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZayKayWill Posted September 17, 2017 Author Share Posted September 17, 2017 Bumpabump. Link to post Share on other sites
Fair Posted September 17, 2017 Share Posted September 17, 2017 I came here because there are some things you just don't want to ask or discuss with people you know when you're really down, confused, and looking for an unbiased opinion. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZayKayWill Posted September 17, 2017 Author Share Posted September 17, 2017 I came here because there are some things you just don't want to ask or discuss with people you know when you're really down, confused, and looking for an unbiased opinion. I feel you on that. Sometimes your friends are the best people to go to sometimes, though. Trust me. If you are ****ing up in life, your friends will NOT sugarcoat it. They will motivate you to get your **** together. Yeah people online are a lot less biased but they can be unempathetic at the same time as well... Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted September 17, 2017 Share Posted September 17, 2017 Without reading my first posts I can't say! Been a member since 2013 but notice the first post of mine LS notes was made in 2016. They must not go back farther than 500 posts as I can't imagine I was ever quiet on this forum! Anyway, the reason I'm on here is that I like to challenge my mind by trying to come up with solutions for problems people post. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bealigerent Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 I had a three year EA and PA that ended a few months ago. I needed to see how OWs and OMs felt. This was my first involvement with a MM and I'd been making breakup noises for most of the A. Finally I saw how little I was getting and the family I was hurting. Only one person knew of the A and she is not the type I would want to discuss my chaotic feelings with. So here I am. Link to post Share on other sites
1966Seahorse Posted September 24, 2017 Share Posted September 24, 2017 I was reading an article in a newspaper that mentioned the site "Loveshack" ... never heard of it so looked it up ... and became kinda fascinated by one post in particular so, on a daily basis I kept reading the many replies to that post, and have become hooked ever since! Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted September 24, 2017 Share Posted September 24, 2017 i joined here after trying to date on old after a fifteen year relationship ended.......i wasnt ready to date......and onlien dating turned me off dating altogether for a few years..which was actually a blessing because i concentrated more on my kids who were struggling with the break up and still do ten years on.....so much struggling all i wanted to really have was my ex back..the ex i fell in love with that is not the one that walked away from his family..... i was glad to find somewhere where i could talk about relationships.....where i could reach out over the years on here when i had isolated myself......preparing to do myself in.....and i just stayed......and im...still here a decade later......i just try and help how i can ....i try to be positive in that helping and i try to stay out of polarizing threads.....because they really do upset me... ...deb Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted September 24, 2017 Share Posted September 24, 2017 Women hassles , but l also enjoy hearing about relationship stuff too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZayKayWill Posted September 24, 2017 Author Share Posted September 24, 2017 Now you have me interested in looking for a forum like that. If you have any cool ones, let me know. I have time at work for another forum addiction. Quora. Literally all you need. It's an app and a website. You're welcome. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted September 24, 2017 Share Posted September 24, 2017 I came here to vent about the opposite sex after a very ugly divorce. I was a complete woman hater with an axe to grind back then and I found this forum after googling something I don't remember. Who would have thought that guy would be a happily married man today preaching goodwill between men and women? I look at my posts from back then and it seems like a different person. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CryForNoOne Posted September 25, 2017 Share Posted September 25, 2017 I came here after being in 2 LTRs spanning over 17 years and having not "dated" since 1995. The last time I had gotten a number was before cell phones and she wrote it on a paper napkin. LOL! Needless to say I found this site useful for navigating the treacherous waters of OLD and texting etiquette. I took a hiatus for 3 years when I got another GF, but now I'm back again. Link to post Share on other sites
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