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The Reality of Love


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What do you all think is the reality of love for you? Be you in or out of a relationship.

 

To me. The only real difference between love and not having a partner is, the access. For example. I have acesss to my TV/Internet/Books and Music. If I did not have any. It would most likely make me temporarly sad. So I for me when I look at couples. I feel like they at least have access to love. That does not mean its sex on tap and loving words and hugs all the time, but at least there is access to it.

 

The only plus side to being single is ultimate freedom and calling all the shots on your life with no major compromise.

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CautiouslyOptimistic
What do you all think is the reality of love for you? Be you in or out of a relationship.

 

To me. The only real difference between love and not having a partner is, the access. For example. I have acesss to my TV/Internet/Books and Music. If I did not have any. It would most likely make me temporarly sad. So I for me when I look at couples. I feel like they at least have access to love. That does not mean its sex on tap and loving words and hugs all the time, but at least there is access to it.

 

The only plus side to being single is ultimate freedom and calling all the shots on your life with no major compromise.

 

I don't do well with such abstract questions, but I think one of the "realities" of love, or the lack of love, is having someone to share things with, both good and bad. I'm single by choice and usually do not want a relationship, but last night I received some bad news that really upset me and I felt very, very lonely with nobody to talk to about it. I have plenty of friends and I did talk to my mom and got hugs from my kids, but somehow it just didn't feel the same and I was really missing that bond.

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Love to me is like a quilt. It has different pieces that I picked up over my lifetime. Some of these pieces are from people long gone, others are still around. They all added to this polymorphus thing that I perceive as love. It's there inside of me all the time, and leaves me with a feeling of warmth and gratitude.

 

Or in other words, love does not necessarily correspond to my relationship status.

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I don't do well with such abstract questions, but I think one of the "realities" of love, or the lack of love, is having someone to share things with, both good and bad. I'm single by choice and usually do not want a relationship, but last night I received some bad news that really upset me and I felt very, very lonely with nobody to talk to about it. I have plenty of friends and I did talk to my mom and got hugs from my kids, but somehow it just didn't feel the same and I was really missing that bond.

 

 

I hope your situation that has sadden you clears up. I find that Friendships with lots of people really helps put life in perspective. If I did not have major friendships. I think that would be worse than not having a major love in my life.

 

My Mother's Mother passed in 1990. My Dad was so out to lunch that even though he was in the house and there were a lot of people consoling my Mother. He did not know that his Mother in Law had passed. Its things that I see like that, that I shake my head at. My Mother was angry that he did not say much. My father claims, no one talked to him about it.

 

I think that my Mothers friends have been a source of Solance for her over the years than my father. So Love relationships can only do so much.

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I have known both world. I was married 15 years followed by 10 years single.

 

There are strenght in both, and hardship in both.

 

One thing I realized though is I grew more as a human being while single. When I was married and raising our daughter there was no time for me to reflex on the purpose of my life, how could I become a better person, how could I become a better human being.

 

Being single for 10 years and growing as a person is what allowed me to be a better person in a relationship.

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The reality of love? It's a lot like ownership. Each has the access code to the other. There is a power dynamic to keep in balance. In fact, i think most of love is keeping a balance so the relationship doesn't become a roller coaster of emotion. It's a chemical relationship that can easily go haywire.

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"What do you all think is the reality of love for you?"

 

Putting the needs and well being of another ahead of your own

 

Choosing to act loving when you don't "feel" like it.

 

Extending grace (undeserved forgiveness) with compassion and caring.

 

Love is a choice and often a sacrifice.

 

For many sex, hugs, words, and access are not love.

Edited by dichotomy
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I have known both world. I was married 15 years followed by 10 years single.

 

There are strenght in both, and hardship in both.

 

One thing I realized though is I grew more as a human being while single. When I was married and raising our daughter there was no time for me to reflex on the purpose of my life, how could I become a better person, how could I become a better human being.

 

Being single for 10 years and growing as a person is what allowed me to be a better person in a relationship.

 

There's a lot of truth to this especially for early marriages by getting caught up in the moment. For instance, high school sweethearts that led to a very quick marriage.

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