Mysterio Posted August 14, 2017 Share Posted August 14, 2017 Here is my life for the most part. I have been in tons of Wedding Parties. I have 20 people in my life I call friend and half a dozen aquintances. Here is the thing I don't get. In my mind if I have wide appeal in Friendships. Why does it feel like my romantic life is so dismal to my head. I rarely have a romantic prospect at my feet all the time. I don't go out on dates on a daily weekly basis. Maybe once a year there is a romantic prospect that comes with an obstacles. So If I have mass appeal in one area. Why is there such a drought in the other area. Could learning how to be good friends with other dampen my Romantic appeal somehow. Or is it that Romantic entanglements are just so mediocre today that its just the norm not to have any great romantic prospects. You luck out or have nothing. Its so extreem. My Parents met in summer of 1968 when they were 28 and married in 1969 at age 29-dad/30-Mom . Had me in 71 and brother in 73. It was that simple. My brother and I are me 46/bro 44 and both are still single. I don't get whats changed in our society that feels like having any type of romantic relationship hard to come by now a days. My friend DB after 9 yrs of divorce finally has a GF. What gives. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mysterio Posted August 14, 2017 Author Share Posted August 14, 2017 Enigma. I hear what your saying. I guess I always feel like its intrusive to go in with the Sex tension thing all the time. I am playful. I am not super stoic. Its hard to gage sometimes. I guess I can try harder. Its really more about how the woman percives you. My Friend MK. He met his wife under his Chiropracter care. He said he felt nothing for her. She was just another patient. She was way more into him than vice versa. He could care less. Its when they were at a social, that he got into her. It had to do about being there for someone that really touched him. When I met her. I knew they were going to be together. I was really impressed. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted August 14, 2017 Share Posted August 14, 2017 Sex appeal is one of the differences. Either she has it for you when you met or she doesn't. But also: If she then sees you treating every other female friend of yours in the same way as you do her then sex appeal will fizzle. If you choose to try harder then you need to pick one person and pursue her .This is very clearly what your friend's partner did and he saw that in action. He knew with some certainty she wasn't messing about and was interested by her actions over time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mysterio Posted August 14, 2017 Author Share Posted August 14, 2017 When I meet women that I want to date. They are never with me and a female friend. My female friends and I are usually having lunch/dinner thats it for the most part. I don't really see my male friends and their spouse in any type of sexual sparked up conversation. They basically all seem just chill with each other. I hear you on the sex spark thing. I just always try to be upbeat. No woman is having to cheer me up. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted August 14, 2017 Share Posted August 14, 2017 The two are mutually exclusive.... I know a guy that has TONS of friends...Yet he too struggles with dating/relationships. etc..He's not gay(although he does seem to have that general vibe), and he has quite a few female friends..He's in his 40's as well... The fact that you say you are "playful and not stoic" is probably the vibe that women, who may be relationship material. pick up on....And its probably the female version of a boner killer... I think you are getting pigeon holed as the wing guy, the 3rd wheel or the buddy...You may have to cultivate a different persona, I dunno...About all I can say is that being a guy with a lot of friends(and female friends) doesn't make you necessarily good at attracting the opposite sex in a sexual/romantic/physical way...There are "lone wolves" out there that have absolutely no problems finding female attention... TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 14, 2017 Share Posted August 14, 2017 Any woman looking in is not really going to want to compete with 26 other people to gain your attention. So whilst dating Mr NoFriendsWhatsoever may be a tad uncomfortable as questions would need to be asked, dating Mr Popular is often no fun either as it will be assumed he has no time to cultivate a real "one on one, special" relationship with her, which is what many relationship-orientated woman want from a guy. Many woman do not want to get into relationships that involve so many other people as close friends, as it can get very messy. They want his time, she wants his time, he doesn't want to lose his friends... At 46 many of those friends will be very long term, so she may feel like a total outsider if she does get involved. I guess maybe the gay slur follows you around too. "He is a great guy so why does he not have a woman..." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mysterio Posted August 24, 2017 Author Share Posted August 24, 2017 There is no Gay thing that follows me around. I am heterosexual and my female friends know it. When I am out its one on one with a female friend. I think that for the most part. I have to let a great girl find me. I have to relax my mind and sould more. Than be the driving force to put everything together. Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted August 24, 2017 Share Posted August 24, 2017 (edited) Sorry. Misunderstood thread topic. Could it be you are not escalating things romantically fast enough? Ive seen you say you don't broach anything sexual til she's practically your gf. Not saying compromise your values, but some ladies need a little to know you want to go there Edited August 24, 2017 by Cookiesandough Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts