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What does it Take to be with you?


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For me at age 46. The woman that wants to date and have a LTR with me. This is what I think will work.

 

She has to be Single/Widowed/Divorced without kids. Or W/S/D with up to 2 kids or so.

 

If she is Separated. I will be flexable to to a year or so in terms of being a couple. I will have to see major traction with the divorce.

 

No living together or bio kids untill we are engaged and even then. I want our relationship to be methodical. So that is dating/being a couple for 2 yrs. Engaed in year 3 and married in year 4. Or we can get engaged/married in yr 3 if we are really on track with each other. I don't have kids, but I would be open to having one. after that I would get a vasectomy.

 

Live in my city and want to stay here. We have shared recreational activites and music venues we like going out to. Long walks and physical affection/Humor/Interestng conversations about life and the world around us.

 

I think that I am easy to be with. As arogant as that may seem.

 

What do yo think it takes to be with you?

Edited by Mysterio
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This is a fun Q. I think about it a lot and I have some criteria, but its quite possible that the person who captures my heart will be none of these things but be perfect anyway.

 

I'm 47 and I'd like to be with someone fairly close to my age, preferrably a couple of years older. Id like to have a large overlap in our taste in music/movies/tv and I hope he thinks deeply about humanity and the world around him and social issues, and of course hes got to have an ability to empathize and be kind, very unjudgemental. Sweet, affection, demonstrative and loving. Smart and thoughtful but not necessarily highly educated. Open and talkative, willing to share and listen.

 

I would prefer someone who isnt concerned or anxious at all about money. I dont care if thats because he's got a lot of money or because hes happy with the little hes got. I dont want someone who's ambitious or career oriented. Id rather have a blue collar man who's happy and content with his work than a professional who's always trying to move on to something bigger.

 

Id rather him not be into all this extreme sports bs that everyone claims to love in their online dating profile. And Id rather a homebody than a travel enthusiast. Social enough to feel comfortable hanging out with new people is good.

 

I dont think i can handle even a hint of racism/homophobia/sexism.

Edited by grays
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Cookiesandough

Mysterio's questions are always fun...

 

Smart, quiet, smells nice, kind, considerate, sense of humor, confident, good looking(to me),uses grammar/punctuation correctly but doesn't care that I do not, reads, patient, has hobby/skill/job he is passionate about, socially liberal, isn't hypersexual/use notches as a measure of his worth as a man but likes to go:laugh:

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Cookiedough. Can you define what you mean by quiet? Are you saying you would rather your man be more on the non talkative side. Do you feel that if a man talks to much he leans towards being a loud mouth.

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If my wife calls - deny everything ?

 

:eek::lmao:

 

 

 

 

Ok seriously though

 

If I was single - I would have two lists - 1) casual = just about anything goes 2) LTR or marriage = long list starting with "what does it mean to love someone?".

Edited by dichotomy
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I was 39 when I met my husband.

 

For me to date a man he had to be intelligent, with a wicked sharp sense of humor, clean cut, and I had to be attracted to him.

 

I tried dating genuinely good guys who didn't get my motor running because they were the ones who I connected with through OLD but I never got past the 1st date. I just couldn't do it because there was no spark.

 

 

Steady employment was a plus. One of my EX was habitually underemployed. Although I enjoyed having a "house husband" who cleaned, made dinner & picked up my dry cleaning I didn't enjoy being the sole breadwinner.

 

Of course not married & no current substance abuse problems. I dated a recovered alcoholic with a 10 year chip. Other than I felt weird at first having a drink around him, it wasn't a problem.

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So have you ever found her OP ?

Just wondering , that's quite a list and specific.

Bet if she comes along the list will fly out the window and happen nothing like your ideals.

 

Me well, the two most important women in my life have been totally different people, yet almost identical in this personality thing that l love, totally one offish, total originals, like me haha, no way on this earth to explain them, but that "thing" they've both had, is the most important thing to me.

Give me the same again in the right package haha, and l'd marry her.

l would have the last one but there were other big outside things that just couldn't be worked out.

 

But hey ,if there is someone new, who's to say what she;ll really be like, she could be the total opposite .

Edited by Chilli
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but then again , why would l even want another women given the trouble they've been , add my 6 sisters who are enough to send any man into monk hood , add all the crazy people l've either heard about or know of , 90% women, l need my head read,

 

wish l could turn gay but that ain't gonna happen.

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For the long term a pretty face, a high sex drive, sexual compatibility, frequent wanton lust, no mental illness, emotional compatibility, intellectual compatibility and a compatible sense of humour with a compatible personality.

 

For the short term a pretty face, a high sex drive, sexual compatibility and frequent wanton lust.

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Cookiesandough
Cookiedough. Can you define what you mean by quiet? Are you saying you would rather your man be more on the non talkative side. Do you feel that if a man talks to much he leans towards being a loud mouth.

 

Oh I realize that could have come off wrong. I don't mind when guys are talkative, lol, just sometimes they are just too outgoing for me.

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Funny really , part of that personality l love might be considered loud mouth.

But sometimes that can be really cool in the right mix.

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Mysterio's questions are always fun...

 

Smart, quiet, smells nice, kind, considerate, sense of humor, confident, good looking(to me),uses grammar/punctuation correctly but doesn't care that I do not, reads, patient, has hobby/skill/job he is passionate about, socially liberal, isn't hypersexual/use notches as a measure of his worth as a man but likes to go:laugh:

 

quiet? Even when he's with you? :confused:

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Cookiesandough

yea I like my men to just keep their mouth shut and let me do all the talking :)

:laugh: kidding

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yea I like my men to just keep their mouth shut and let me do all the talking :)

:laugh: kidding

 

Actually that would be awesome. If I don't have to talk on dates, I would be so happy. :laugh:

 

To answer the thread question: For me, the girl has to like fishing and camping and someone who is very caring and understanding. Someone who has the ability to see from different perspectives and adores me. :D

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yea I like my men to just keep their mouth shut and let me do all the talking :)

:laugh: kidding

 

I actually don't talk very much and I hate talking

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She should be kind, caring, sensitive, likes the outdoors and getting dirty but is still feminine, takes care of herself, enjoys and can hold a conversation but doesn't prattle on about nothing, liberal tendencies, can handle my dark and sometimes disgusting humor.

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For me at age 46. The woman that wants to date and have a LTR with me. This is what I think will work.

 

She has to be Single/Widowed/Divorced without kids. Or W/S/D with up to 2 kids or so.

 

If she is Separated. I will be flexable to to a year or so in terms of being a couple. I will have to see major traction with the divorce.

 

No living together or bio kids untill we are engaged and even then. I want our relationship to be methodical. So that is dating/being a couple for 2 yrs. Engaed in year 3 and married in year 4. Or we can get engaged/married in yr 3 if we are really on track with each other. I don't have kids, but I would be open to having one. after that I would get a vasectomy.

 

Live in my city and want to stay here. We have shared recreational activites and music venues we like going out to. Long walks and physical affection/Humor/Interestng conversations about life and the world around us.

 

I think that I am easy to be with. As arogant as that may seem.

 

What do yo think it takes to be with you?

 

Love the post overall. 100% must haves for me:

 

-Education. At least 4 years but MA+ I prefer. I am not in any way intimidated my a woman with more education than me. My last gal has multiple graduate degrees and I never felt stupid with her. I love a smart woman as long as they dont have attitude. My last 3 gals all had graduate degrees and even are Ivy League. I love a smart woman, especially if we have opposing views and can bicker a bit.

 

-Independent. Love a woman that can hold her own financially. A woman that is dedicated to work and can hold her own is sexy. I won't support or give a woman money or material things to keep her. I want her to be strong and carry her own. I respect a woman that dont want a mans support.

 

-Children......Buzzer ring. Sorry. Even if they are grown its baggage. I did the instant dad thing with a woman and her kids. Great gal and I love kids. But the wrong woman in this situation has left over bagage.

 

-Drugs. No drugs and boozing it up in any manner. I dont do drugs or go to bars/clubbing and I wont even go near a woman that even claims to be in recovery. I dont trust addicts since I have worked with them. Dont get mad at this one but I will not be manipulated. Once an addict - always an addict. Case closed.

 

-Mental Health. Sorry. Not into Borderlines, etc. I can smell them a mile away when they are near me and a small chat. They drain the soul.

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I'll answer the question to figure it out myself :)

 

I'm brainstorming, and I'll divide as follows: preference/non-negotiable

 

preference:

Long hair, atheist, voluptuous, political, into outdoors like hiking, canoeing or sailing, coy, playful, doesn't have children

 

non-negotiable:

single, no mental illness, intelligent, liberal, agnostic, no substance abuse, sexual, cultural, likes family, wants children, funny, social, independent, has her own activities and platonic relationships

 

Those are the main points...

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