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Transgender dating?


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I have a question for us guys here, would you date a transgender woman and what would you do if she told you she was a woman on your first date, but you find out she's really a guy who transitioned. I would probably hurt her or him very badly, because if you lie about who you are on a first date, I would consider that rape.

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RecentChange

What!? You would hurt them? That's a disturbing answer.

 

And no it's not rape, and it's not a valid reason to physically hurt someone.

 

In fact, it's a crime, and you would be punished by the law rightfully so.:mad:

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CautiouslyOptimistic
Depending on your locale, you would have a case. It's referred to as rape by deception.

 

I would not date a transgender person, but not because I was concerned about rape.

 

Rape by deception....even if no sex occurred???

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No I would I mean is if he or she kissed me and I didn't know it was a guy, wouldn't I have a case against harrassment?

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I'm sorry I shouldn't of said that, I wouldn't hurt them. The reason I brought this topic up in the first place was because I read a lot of cases involving transgenders deceiving their dates on who they really are and the situation becomes violent.

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lana-banana

What if you're on a date with someone who is trans, you find yourself extremely attracted, and make the first move to kiss them before they can say anything? What if you're not even on a date, you just see a cute chick at a bar and you both have a few too many drinks and you start making out? Are they supposed to walk around with signs saying "HELLO I AM TRANS" all day, as if it's anyone's business?

 

Of course there is no case for "harassment". If you chose to kiss someone without knowing what their biological sex and gender identity is, that's on you. The idea of "deception" sticks in my craw. If someone presents as female and consider themselves female, how is it "deception"? I get that it's something you should disclose before sex, but if someone waited two or three dates to tell me I can't imagine being that upset about it.

 

Kissing someone who is trans doesn't make you gay or bi or whatever. It means you find that particular person attractive. If they're now female, it means you're attracted to women. Is that really a problem?

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amaysngrace

People attack transgenders because they can't handle their own attraction towards them so they project it outwards.

 

That's what I think, anyway.

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Wondering what the world would be like if everyone had the attitude of the dude from The Kinks song Lola.

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When the packaging doesn't match the contents, that's deceptive, and a bad foundation for a relationship if not disclosed. Even if I find the person attractive, I want to know this information, because IMO the attraction is false.

 

Putting Ferrari badging on Ford Fiesta doesn't turn it into a Ferrari.

 

Failure to disclose, and then having sex with an uninformed partner can be considered rape, and IS considered rape in the UK, for example. I view it this way as well.

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If I ever found a guy dressed like a woman attractive I'd have to start with some heavy self examination about my sexuality. Whether or not I'm attracted to men. Because they are men. You can pump them up with hormones, mutilate their genitals and give them a girl name all you want but biologically they're still male. If you're attracted to them then you're gay.

 

Generally guys who feel the need to lash out like that are gay and are in deep denial.

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Brad, just get to know someone's heart. Or if you're paying for sex, you can say up front "no transgender." But be kind. Transgender people don't fall neatly into gay or straight or any category. There's all combinations, ones who were a man but feel like a woman and are attract to -- either men or woman. It's very confusing, but I've known some before any were able to transition and they were unfailingly nice human beings with big hearts.

 

There's no reason to hate on them. I'm glad I'm living in a time when they are finally getting to be accepted for who they are by many.

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Rape by deception....even if no sex occurred???

 

Interestingly, there was a significant case in the media a while back about a woman that decieved another woman through elaborate means into sex whilst believing that she was having sex with a man.

 

That lesbian was sentenced to prison for rape.

 

I don't see how it's any different for a man to deceive another man through elaborate means into sex whilst believing that he's a woman.

 

If a "woman" suddenly gets "her" penis out, and plonks it in my face... haven't I just been sexually assaulted?

 

Never had it happen. But, my general life-experience as a bloke would be to certainly not expect any sort of sympathy or understanding for how it would make me feel as a given lol

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I don't know why anyone would claim rape if they were having consensual sex with whoever the person turned out to be. Besides they have a great bar story for life. That said, of course, someone needs to let a person know what's up, but then the other person is also in charge of him or herself and has every option open as to how much time he or she spends really getting to know the person and finding out who they are and meeting their friends and family. They have options not to hop in bed so soon.

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amaysngrace
Man, I have seen a couple transgendered people that looked better than a lot of women I know. If they had actually been women and not transgendered, I'd hook up with them in a minute. Depending on the person it could be easy to deceive, and I don't think it would make a person gay if they were attracted to a person who at least looked like a woman.

 

I came across this just now and found it interesting that this beauty queen had Donald Trump re-write the rules for entry into Miss Universe Canada.

 

Not as our president though, but rather because he owned the pageant!

 

Transgendered Jenna Talackova, would-be Miss Universe, to helm Vancouver?s Pride Parade

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****Moderators Note****

 

Let's keep the offensive posts off this thread please or expect some reminders that your posts were not the type of posts we expect on LoveShack.

 

Thanks

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Man, I have seen a couple transgendered people that looked better than a lot of women I know. If they had actually been women and not transgendered, I'd hook up with them in a minute. Depending on the person it could be easy to deceive, and I don't think it would make a person gay if they were attracted to a person who at least looked like a woman.

 

If I'd ever wanted to make love to myself, I had the opportunity. A guy who had been one of my salesmen who called on me in the record biz and I became friends because we liked a lot of the same music. He was just maybe 5'10", blond straight hair to his shoulders, big boned. Knew him some years.

 

I knew his love life was nonexistent. He's had one gf he loved but walked in on her cheating on him in his own bed. He never got over it. Never knew him to date another but I knew he was crushing on one in his office, who was taken.

 

Anyway, after we were no longer salesman/client, he asked me to dinner, said he wanted to tell me something. I dress up and go to the restaurant and he pulls out a Polaroid photo that looks like me -- a LOT like me. I'm dark haired and he's blond and we do NOT look at all alike naturally, but this was him dressed and done up as me. It really freaked me out, of course. I said, "Wow, you look more like me than I do."

 

Anyway, that's basically what he wanted to tell me, that he was more himself as a woman. He's attracted to women but only feels sexy and like himself when he's also made himself into a woman.

 

It is all very confusing to sort out this stuff, but I've been around it with close friends since about 1972 or so and just roll with the flow, whatever they want to do, however they are, I still love them. But yes, this one took me by surprise.

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Well if she says she is a woman then she is a woman because that's her gender. By gender, are you mistakenly confusing gender with biological sex? Are you asking if she revealed her biological sex is male? Then I'd just have a friendly date with her and see her home safe. However, I grew up a long time ago.

 

My lack of reply to your response to your own hypothetical is a statement to how how much I disagree with your behavior and how inappropriate my words would be; hell, I'd likely get banned. Use your imagination.

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