What should my next move be?

[jl27]

I had been "seeing" this guy for roughly a year. He sort've called things off 2 months ago because his jealousy issues were getting the best of him & the jealousy would cause us to get into arguments (over small/silly things), he wanted to get better as a person & learn how to control/act in those situations. I reached out to him last week to see if he wanted to see my dog whom he adored while my sister & mom were on vacation. He was hesitant at first because "I was understandably hurt" the last time we talked .. only because I didn't not want to have him in my life & I wanted to work things through with him as we've done before numerous times. He said he would think about it, he didn't think it would be a good idea and he didn't want either one of us getting hurt all over again. I noticed he was liking sad/broken heart/love type quotes all over social media during the week he was figuring out if he wanted to come visit my dog & I (which was very confusing to me). There were a few things he like'd that ended up making me cry or feel hurt, and other things would give me hope things would work out.

 

I got a message from him on Monday saying if things didn't go as planned/work out, we would be able to go walk my dog for a bit, so I said ok we'll see how things workout. He messaged me again on Wednesday, asking if I wanted to come over that night or Thursday night with my dog, he was acting like his normal self, being kinda flirty, using winky faces & emojis and poking fun at me in a joking way as he use to. Since it was a bit late that night, I suggested Thursday night. He then replies with "sorry I've been having a tough life/time for the last little bit here so I haven't really been putting much effort into much, a lot going on in my mind with stuff then me over thinking this. So forgive me if I'm being" (he didn't finish his msg). After he replied to my msg, I ended the convo by not responding.

 

On Thursday, he messaged me later in the day, asking if I was doing anything with my dog & if I wanted to come over with him. So I said sure. I was trying my best not to be awkward or too straight forward (we did not talk about how things ended), but more so about his dog & my dog playing together. He was happy/laughing the entire time, playing with my dog. He asked me if I still had a snap streak with one of the guys I use to go to school with (he was jealous over it, even tho he knew I wasn't interested in that guy), I said no, he asked who ended it & I said I did, he asked if I did it on purpose or if I forgot, I said I did it on purpose and that I needed a break from being on my phone all the time. He continued to kind of be flirty & as he normally was prior to the "separation", he seemed to be having a good time from what I saw.

 

I was there for a good 2.5-3 hrs before I left, he walked me to my car with my dog, we chatted for a bit (non-relationship/breakup talk), then I said I was gunna go home. He then said "well have a goodnight then, thanks for bringing your dog over", and reached his one arm out for a hug and sortve patted me on the back?, so I patted his back as well. I said "well that wasn't an awkward hug or anything haha" and he said "haha what are you talking about? you're always awkward!", I proceeded to walk to my car while saying have a goodnight again.

 

We couldn't really talk much about "the past" because his parents were in the living room right beside us. It wasn't a bad meet up, but it wasn't a fantastic one either..it didn't feel forced & he seemed to have enjoyed it.

 

I'm in a rutt and don't know how to proceed with the situation. If he initiated the last 2-3 conversations with me, do I initiate the next one? If so, how long does one wait? Do I ask to see him again, like go to a movie? Or do I wait for him to make the next move?

 

Background story: I almost never asked him to hangout because I was scared of rejection & I had told him I feared rejection, so if he see's I'm making moves to get things on the right path, would he see that as a good thing? I definitely dont want to come across as needy/pushy though, but I want him to see that I'm trying to make more of an effort than previously.

 

Any help is appreciated!

Ps. I would like to keep him in my life, if possible

[jl27]

His friends also knew we weren't talking anymore, but he kept posting photos/videos of himself with my dog on his snapchat (his friends all know what my dog looks like). So I'm thinking, if he was trying to keep things on the down low between him & I, he wouldn't be posting those things? Am I right? Is that a good sign? (one of the photos included me being in it with my dog)

[carhill]

My basic rule on this is keep showing up if I feel like showing up and have an open mind to learn more about myself from the interactions. This saves on long-winded analysis.

 

If you're not talking anymore, cool, don't. If you want to talk, talk. If he doesn't want to talk, respect that choice. If he does want to talk, talk, if you want to.

 

Sometimes the winning move is not to play. Hopefully some of the year was fun.

 

I look back on my marriage like that now. We made some good memories together and I feel I'm a more complete human for the experience. That's it.