Not sure where to go from here

[jl27]

So long story short, started "seeing" this guy for 2-3 weeks, he then told me that he wasn't looking for anything serious at the time because his last relationship had completely destroyed him. Now at the time, I really liked him and thought maybe he could push everything from his past behind him & try to give me the chance to be his GF...a year later, nothing has come from it. Every week or so, we would always get into stupid pointless fights. He had major jealousy issues, and would always ask me if I got any numbers on the weekend or if I was interested in another guy, he would get jealous if I had a Snap streak with guys I went to school with, and I would always say "why does it matter? we're not together so I don't really owe you anything or any explanation." He would always say "well if you are interested or do anything with anyone else, are you gunna tell me so I can deal with it and move forward" so I would say yes. I never did anything with anyone else, so there was no need for me to tell him. Eventually, a bad situation had occurred where I removed him off SnapChat (we would chat through there since we would never receive each others msgs). After a week of no communication, I reached out to him & asked him if I should move on with my life, he said "sure do whatever you need to do", basically just ending everything between us in the last year. He continued to say "this is by far the end of anything" and "everything will work out" "I need to work on my jealousy and trust issues, I think we just need some space right now" "its gunna be hard, but it doesn't mean its the wrong decision". Since then, we've had no communication, its been 8-9 weeks since I've last seen him.

 

We still have each other on all social media accounts, but I've noticed him liking sad-ish type quotes on instagram, which he's never done before that I've seen. Things like "letting go of someone takes time but its worth it" on FB, and things about "sometimes the emotion that breaks your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it". I'm so confused, because I'll like a quote, and he'll almost immediately like another "sad/heartbroken" quote or "i'm moving on" type quote within a few hours, it just depends on which stuff I like, he'll feed off of it.

 

We weren't in a relationship by any means, but we did things that a majority of couples would do if we were in one. I'm confused, is he playing mind games with me to see if he'll get a reaction from me? is he actually hurt? do I reach out to him?

 

He had told me previously before that he would always remove a girl off everything in order to move on with his life and get over them, but he hasn't done it. He's given me false hope by believing there will eventually be something between us, EX. saying "this is by far the end of anything". He's told me a few times that he's thought about giving the relationship a chance, but then we get into a fight & we go back to square one.

 

I'm not exactly sure on how to proceed? I would remove him off everything, but then I know things would be done for good. Theres been a few times where I wanted to express to him how I felt (that I was in love with him), but didn't feel like I should because we weren't in a relationship and didn't want to scare him.

 

Any help on how to proceed with my situation would be greatly appreciated

[basil67]

Have you ever had independent verification that his ex treated him like rubbish? I'm going to lay money that he behaved in the same way with her as he's doing with you.

 

What I'm seeing here is a guy who's a nut job and will turn around and tell the next person who comes along that *you* treated him like rubbish. That *you* made him jealous etc. When it reality, the problem is actually him.

 

You do know that jealous behaviour from a guy who won't be your boyfriend is completely unacceptable, yes? This guy needs to be very firmly put back in his place.

 

Why on earth do you love him?

[jl27]

Have you ever had independent verification that his ex treated him like rubbish? I'm going to lay money that he behaved in the same way with her as he's doing with you.

 

What I'm seeing here is a guy who's a nut job and will turn around and tell the next person who comes along that *you* treated him like rubbish. That *you* made him jealous etc. When it reality, the problem is actually him.

 

You do know that jealous behaviour from a guy who won't be your boyfriend is completely unacceptable, yes? This guy needs to be very firmly put back in his place.

 

Why on earth do you love him?

 

 

I do know that his ex left him for another guy, he told me that his mom had to get him self-help books (I saw them in his room), his sisters have told me the same thing as well, that she was really rough on him and took advantage of him, went out of her way to make him jealous etc etc.

 

I never understood why he'd get extremely jealous of other guys being around me when he was getting all my attention anyways. How does one put someone back in their place though? & honestly, when things were good, they were beyond perfect, he was different compared to the other guys in the past that I've "dated"

 

I just don't get why he's doing this "attention seeking" behaviour by liking sad/sappy stuff on social media? Is it a mind game? is he trying to see if he'll get a reaction from me?

[d0nnivain]

Have you recently asked him what he wants & told him that you would like a relationship?

 

You both are full of mixed signals & mis-communications because you are not talking to each other or being honest about your feelings. These repeated "pointless fights" were born of longing & frustration. When you first accepted that he didn't want more & you continually said "why does it matter? we're not together so I don't really owe you anything or any explanation." He heard that you didn't care about him which made him reluctant to get serious with you. Then you removed him off SnapChat after something else bad. You didn't talk for 1 week then your first message was about ending things. Do you see where & why this guy is afraid to trust you?

 

Sit down & put your cards on the table. Take the RISK. If you don't, this is over forever because neither of you gave it a meaningful chance or fought to save it.

[Cookiesandough]

Proceed by packing up and moving on, that way you've only wasted like a year on this guy. He will never give you what you want and really the "don't want anything serious" was all the evidence of that needed. So many guys out there who will... to waste on this one who is having his cake and eating it too. Doesnt wanna be with you but wants all the perks and for you to tell him who you're with? What is he on?