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Do you think his mother still remembers me?


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When I was 12, there was a boy at school a couple of us would harrass often. I was his main school tormentor however and nope, it's not something I'm proud of. I made him cried a couple times back then too.

 

It got bad enough for me to get send to the principal's office and nearly got suspended but it ended in a 3 day detention instead. That was the only time I faced his mother and she was very upset. She confronted and said all she needed to say. I don't blame her. I'll never forget that look in her eyes. I was a horrible, rotten kid in her eyes. I'm no longer that person.

 

It's been now 10 years later. We're both now 22 year-olds in our last year of college. He already forgot about it and it's been long solved. We're not dating exclusively but have been hanging out very often lately. Do you think his mother still remembers me? I

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When I was 12, there was a boy at school a couple of us would harrass often. I was his main school tormentor however and nope, it's not something I'm proud of. I made him cried a couple times back then too.

 

It got bad enough for me to get send to the principal's office and nearly got suspended but it ended in a 3 day detention instead. That was the only time I faced his mother and she was very upset. She confronted and said all she needed to say. I don't blame her. I'll never forget that look in her eyes. I was a horrible, rotten kid in her eyes. I'm no longer that person.

 

It's been now 10 years later. We're both now 22 year-olds in our last year of college. He already forgot about it and it's been long solved. We're not dating exclusively but have been hanging out very often lately. Do you think his mother still remembers me? I

 

A mother never forgets who hurts her children. Has she put it behind her and chalked it up to kids being kids and time served? We can't know.

 

But, if this guy expects to bring you around, it would be up to him to explain the situation. He is an adult now and if he's able to look past the past, fine and hopefully, she will support him now.

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A mother never forgets who hurts their children. Has she put it behind her and chalked it up to kids being kids and time served? We can't know.

 

But, if this guy expects to bring you around, it would be up to him to explain the situation. He is an adult now and if he's able to look past the past, fine and hopefully, she will support him now.

I figure that too. She gave a good look at me that day. I haven't physically changed too much (still have that baby face) other than dying my hair to black, being 5 inches taller, weighing a bit more and my clothes.

 

Nope, he hasn't told her it was me. He just thinks that by now she's probably over it. He's family oriented and visits her sometimes. His house is only about 5 blocks away from his parents' house. He does wants to introduce me to his parents soon though.

 

Anyways ideas of what to say if she mentions something? If she doesn't, should I still say anything to her?

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I figure that too. She gave a good look at me that day. I haven't physically changed too much (still have that baby face) other than dying my hair to black, being 5 inches taller and my clothes.

 

Nope, he hasn't told her it was me. He just thinks that by now she's probably over it. He's family oriented and visits her sometimes. His house is only about 5 blocks away from his parents' house. He does wants to introduce me to his parents soon though.

 

Anyways ideas of what to say if she mentions something? If she doesn't, should I still say anything to her?

 

If she says anything, you should just say, "yes, I've regretted doing that all these years. The two of us have reconnected and I'm happy he has forgiven me. I hope you can too."

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If she says anything, you should just say, "yes, I've regretted doing that all these years. The two of us have reconnected and I'm happy he has forgiven me. I hope you can too."
Thank you.
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Yes, I do think she still remembers you and unless she's one of those women who thinks children always outgrow things, she will still not trust you not to hurt him.

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ChatroomHero

My guess is she won't trust you and probably not be very warm to you. Probably not a lot you can do besides let her know you understand why and hope for the best, but I would prepare for the fact she might never warm up and will potentially tell the guy her feelings any time the subject of you comes up.

 

 

You are not dating her so it really comes down to him and how he handles her maybe being anti-you.

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I'm 50 and my mother could still name my childhood bullies.

 

If you meet her, I think it would be appropriate to be on the front foot with an apology. Slightly different, but at my school reunion I took it upon myself to apologise to a girl I hurt and she very much appreciated the gesture. It cleared the air tremendously. A genuine apology is never inappropriate.

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Yes, I do think she still remembers you and unless she's one of those women who thinks children always outgrow things, she will still not trust you not to hurt him.
I understand. I do hope that she's able to notice I'm a different person than my 12 year-old self. At the time, I was not exactly in the greatest moments of my life.
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I don't understand why HE is trusting you. I certainly wouldn't be cozying up to my childhood bullies.
We reconciled during my last year of HS.

Shortly after that office visit, his mother moved him to another middle school. Fast-forward... when I was in 12th grade...he somehow got transferred to my school so that was my chance to explain it all in person to him. He had already moved on by then and apparently didn't need any closure but, I still felt I needed to.

 

Then we went to different colleges and would only get in contact once in a while on fb.

 

I guess this bullying is rare. I was a girl bullying a boy basically and it wasn't just verbally. I was still shorter than him back then (5'2) so and it was obviously he could have destroyed me if he wanted to. His mother at the time stated clearly that had I not been a minor, she would have drag me by the hair and fight me herself. It was a very awful confrontation.

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Yeah, I don't hold out much hope for her ever feeling warm and fuzzy towards you. I think she'll feel that deep down, you're still capable of being mean. But I am very glad you have apologized to him and tried to make up for it.

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Yeah, I don't hold out much hope for her ever feeling warm and fuzzy towards you. I think she'll feel that deep down, you're still capable of being mean. But I am very glad you have apologized to him and tried to make up for it.
You were right about something. The lady recognized me by seeing me on his fb contact list (she has fb too) and seemed a kind of shocked, not very pleased. Even when he mentioned my name, she said it sounded familiar but was curious to see who he was hanging out with a lot.

He underestimated his mother and really thought 10 years was a long time. She explained to him to remember that because of me, he came home from school with a bruise once, they had to move him to another school and get him counseling.

 

Nevertheless, he said she would still want to speak with me if he presents me to her and she'll reserve judgments for now. As for the father, he didn't recognize my face nor my name. His mother had to explain the situation to him. His father thinks different and thinks we were just kids back then.

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I'm 50 and my mother could still name my childhood bullies.

 

If you meet her, I think it would be appropriate to be on the front foot with an apology. Slightly different, but at my school reunion I took it upon myself to apologise to a girl I hurt and she very much appreciated the gesture. It cleared the air tremendously. A genuine apology is never inappropriate.

Yes, that's what I'm going to do when I get reintroduced to her. She still remembers. Just updated it.
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It's terrible living with the memories of being something you no longer recognize.

 

Hopefully the mother sees past the pain you caused and sees you for who you are today.

 

Wonder why you were so angry. Maybe one day you can explain it to his mom. It would do you both some good.

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As to why I was so angry as a child, I didn't have the greatest upbringing, had feeling of insecurity (and would replace them by being a bully) and was a coward back then. I would take advantage of bullying him knowing very well how he was raised, the mother told me herself on that day during the confrontation. I forgot to mentioned that one sentence she used for me that still stayed with me on my mind was ''You know, I've spent sleepless nights raising a gentleman''.

 

Yes, I hope she's one day able to see past my former self. The only good thing is she's letting me a chance to explain if I meet her again.

Edited by Nabely
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