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Opposite Sex Friends/Friends With Exes FAQs: Is It Possible? Can/Should I Do It?


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Old 9th June 2017, 5:10 PM   #16
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You can tell when it is a borderline platonic/relationship.

I have opposite sex friends and they will not take precedence over a partner.
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Old 9th June 2017, 6:21 PM   #17
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Thing is , who is it writing these list everywhere and what sort of qualifications do they have to be saying this is right or you do that or this is not right .
How much life experience do they even have.It's ok if they're in a question and discussion form but if it's in an as in, this is what you do thing. People have to be careful doing things like this because there's a lot of people out there in net world talking crap all over the net written by God knows who , 20 yr olds half the time, and a lot of very naive people out there coming across it all and taking it as Gospel and acting on it it seems.

But anyway , on the general topic , l usually find apposite sex anything as friends or ex's ,usually gets awkward or weird in some way or another sooner or later.
There might be feelings from one underneath or husbands and wives or gf's or bf's that don't like it ir it just ends up feeling just plain old weird somehow.

l always like to think hell why not , what's wrong with that , but it just never seems to work out that way sooner or later.

Last edited by Chilli; 9th June 2017 at 6:37 PM..
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Old 9th June 2017, 7:18 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by ZayKayWill View Post
I don't expect you to accept anything my brother. You'd notice that if you read it and saw the very last bulletpoint.

I made this topic strictly for me and any other crazy oddballs that are like me. For my.own well being and my values in life. And well...sometimes it's good to put yourself out there, even if you 'fail'.
You know ZKW, a good solution for you would be to just pack a bag and move out to Hilldale, Utah. You'd be with kindred spirits there, and there'd be no need to obfuscate the whole idea by calling it "friends." You could buy gifts galore for various women and nobody would even blink an eye. You'd just need to follow a few of their rules and have revelations from time to time. You might even be a hero.
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Old 10th June 2017, 5:43 AM   #19
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Wife of 22 years wants opposite sex friends for last 4 years

My wife started working directly with the pulic as a cashier at a gas station. So far to this date I know of 4 guys that she has been texting and or hanging out with, she has admitted to sexting them many times and making out with one and feeling each other up. She told me she loves me and couldn't live without me and has now 2 police records on file for suicide watch. She gets caught and becomes the victim. She has stopped texting them but restarted 4 different times now,even a 3rd party app to give her another phone number. She obviously knows it's wrong or the sneaking and hiding would stop. There is ( I guess) just one guy now but she's obsessed with him kinda stalking. She tells me she wants US more so will stop with the guys. I've lost all trust in her cause it's happening over and over. My gut says 60/40 % she's had an affair, she'll never admit to it. Now she has talked about having a threesome MMF I played along with the idea getting her to open up to me. When I said ok She instantly texted someone to tell them. I said I get a FFM after yours and she dropped the whole idea, she's again talking about threesomes again.. she gets a lot of public attention from her job, gets asked out on dates .. I'm thinking my marriage is a lost cause but I worry about the kids.. all this is unhealthy for them .. sorry long story. That's the jist of my last 4 years
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Old 10th June 2017, 5:54 AM   #20
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This poem reflects my own feelings:


To part now and parting now,
Never to meet again;
To have done for ever; I and thou,
With joy, and so with pain.

It is too hard, too hard to meet
If we trust love no more;
Those other meetings were too sweet
That went before.

And I would have, now love is over,
An end to all, an end:
I cannot, having been your lover,
Stoop to become your friend.

—ARTHUR SYMONS, “After Love.”
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Old 10th June 2017, 7:46 AM   #21
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There is a reason why an ex is an ex. Forget about them.
Though many people break up, get back together, get married.

Though with no intent to rekindle the romance there is no
reason to be friends with an ex for is not worth it for it just
creates problems with one's new love interests.

I don't share my tools and I don't share my woman.
My woman (wife) is my opposite sex friend. The person
you are in a relationship is the only opposite sex friend
you needs.
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Old 10th June 2017, 5:29 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by salparadise View Post
You know ZKW, a good solution for you would be to just pack a bag and move out to Hilldale, Utah. You'd be with kindred spirits there, and there'd be no need to obfuscate the whole idea by calling it "friends." You could buy gifts galore for various women and nobody would even blink an eye. You'd just need to follow a few of their rules and have revelations from time to time. You might even be a hero.
What's different/special about that place?
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Old 10th June 2017, 5:37 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Teddiz View Post
My wife started working directly with the pulic as a cashier at a gas station. So far to this date I know of 4 guys that she has been texting and or hanging out with, she has admitted to sexting them many times and making out with one and feeling each other up. She told me she loves me and couldn't live without me and has now 2 police records on file for suicide watch. She gets caught and becomes the victim. She has stopped texting them but restarted 4 different times now,even a 3rd party app to give her another phone number. She obviously knows it's wrong or the sneaking and hiding would stop. There is ( I guess) just one guy now but she's obsessed with him kinda stalking. She tells me she wants US more so will stop with the guys. I've lost all trust in her cause it's happening over and over. My gut says 60/40 % she's had an affair, she'll never admit to it. Now she has talked about having a threesome MMF I played along with the idea getting her to open up to me. When I said ok She instantly texted someone to tell them. I said I get a FFM after yours and she dropped the whole idea, she's again talking about threesomes again.. she gets a lot of public attention from her job, gets asked out on dates .. I'm thinking my marriage is a lost cause but I worry about the kids.. all this is unhealthy for them .. sorry long story. That's the jist of my last 4 years
Sorry that's been happening to you. I wouldn't trust her anymore either and at that point you probably won't even allow your future gfs to have guy friends. I wouldn't blame you. Experience changes people for life.
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Old 6th October 2017, 4:52 AM   #24
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Bumping this topic. Cuz I can.
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Old 7th October 2017, 8:16 AM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZayKayWill View Post
What's different/special about that place?
Do you know about google?
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Old 7th October 2017, 9:52 AM   #26
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Originally Posted by salparadise View Post
Do you know about google?
Sure but sometimes a human insight and perspective is better. Wouldn't you agree? That is, assuming that said human is a somewhat intelligent and decent human being . Also how are you doing since your most recent break up?

Last edited by ZayKayWill; 7th October 2017 at 10:37 AM..
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Old 20th October 2017, 5:04 AM   #27
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Still waiting....
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Old 20th October 2017, 6:10 AM   #28
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Just use good old common sense.

There are exs I would remain friends with them and other I would not. There is no 'one answer fits all'. When I met my bf I let go of a very close male friend of mine of 4 years. Him and I were very close like Will & Grace type of close and I knew it would hurt my relationship so I had to make a difficult choice. On the other hand I have kept exs as friend with no problem because although we had liked each other we had never been deep in love so the friendships did just fine.
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Old Yesterday, 9:23 PM   #29
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Ignore this post. Made an error.
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