Indecisive

[Kinghurk]

I'll try to make this as short as possible. I'll provide more details if requested

I met a girl fell in love. she was in love with me. she had a troubled past me as well. I definitely cope with mine better. before she met me she would sleep with a new guy every week. so she would sexually act out. I enlisted and was gone for four months. when I came back it took me a while to adjust back to my normal life. honestly, I didn't fully adjust till she broke it off with me she wasn't happy I wasn't myself. she didn't fully move on and I still don't think she has. so for the first month or so she would still want to see me and hang out. we had sex and what not it wasn't anything like before. obviously, because we broke up and she was already getting drunk on the weekend sleeping with other guys. in the first month she slept with two guys and one had a girlfriend and she knew. she didn't care though and I tried to not let it bother me. I was the reason we grew apart I neglected her. she wanted to see me so much I don't get why she wouldn't just want to retry. she said the sex with those guys didn't mean anything and it was just for pleasure and she didn't feel bad because we were broken up but she'll tell me she only thought of me when she was sober. I understand we would have to move on from the past to start something new. so a little background info when me and her were dating one of her brothers friends had a thing for her and she told me about it because I'd meet him he was a good family friend but she told me she would never have sex with him because he was like a brother so I had nothing to worry about. jump more to the present and she did have sex with him and he had a girlfriend. that leads to her talking to me saying we need more distance haven't been talking or seeing each other. until last week she wanted to see me and get dinner we did it wasn't bad. but still, I don't get why she's being so confusing. when she was telling me we needed more distance after her fling with her brother's friend she mentioned that during the time we were having sex but not dating that I should have taken her on dates and showed I changed. I think communication is important and I asked her why she wouldn't tell me that. she said I should have known. I really hope I didn't miss anything big. I'm focusing on myself now pretty well. I don't know what will happen this summer, should I even try if I have the chance to start a new relationship with her? Like what's the point of no return? I love her but should I?

[Telemachus]

She broke up with you. It's over. Leave it there.

 

If you want to be rejected or to have another breakup with her, sure, go ahead. I have no idea why you would want this, but that's what will happen.

 

As far as your opening comment that you loved her and she loved you, loving people don't treat other people the way you did. Your relationship, such as it was, was based more on doing harm to each other than it was on loving.

 

Neither of you seems to know how to express love in a constructive way. The past and present are good indicators of what your future together will look like, what you will make of it.

 

If that's the future you want, and that's her idea of a good time, then go for it. I wouldn't.

[preraph]

I'm sorry everything went so wrong. I just honestly think there's a lot deeper issues with her that are manifesting in her feeding like a shark. It sounds like she might be alcoholic for one thing, but you said there's a weird past, so I think she's also anesthetizing herself with sex.

 

Honestly, it sounds like she (and even you as a couple) probably need counseling, especially her. She just sounds frantic to me. I think you'd be happier with someone less choatic that you could trust and count on. Good luck.