blueonblack Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 (edited) Hi guys, This is my first post. I'm dating this girl who is absolutely amazing. She's smart, quirky, funny, and just very enjoyable to be around. She's very talented, she plays the cello and is an amazing musician. She's many of the things I dream of in a girl. The problem is, she is ugly. According to my friends. I think she's cute, personally. Her personality only enhances her attractiveness for me. My friends constantly hound me for dating her. My roommate made sure to tell me that "She is not good looking at all, bro". He bragged about how much hotter his girlfriend is and that I'm just settling because I can't get a hot girl like him. I know I shouldn't care what others think, but the constant barrage wears on me. She's really easy to talk to, and I appreciate her as a person. What should I do about this? Despite being complete jerks, my friends are really all I have right now seeing as how I don't have much family. I could see myself really committing to this girl, but my friends repeatedly telling me I can do better bothers and starts to wear me down. Edited April 21, 2017 by blueonblack Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 I'm dating this girl who is absolutely amazing. She's smart, quirky, funny, and just very enjoyable to be around. She's very talented, she plays the cello and is an amazing musician. She's many of the things I dream of in a girl. ... I think she's cute, personally. Her personality only enhances her attractiveness for me. Then that's the only thing that matters. Keep the girl and lose the friends. 20 Link to post Share on other sites
Purepony Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 Similar situation I'm in Everyone says go for it except I'm not attracted to her as much because everyone keeps saying I can do better I'd like to see more replies on this thread please 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 Just tell your friend to shut up and mind his own business and that your gf is the most beautiful in your mind. On a related note: I've always suspected that many guys may not dislike overweight girls per se, but they just don't want to be seen dating a "fat" girl by others. You should be proud of yourself for dismissing your friend's ridiculous peer pressure :-) 5 Link to post Share on other sites
GoreSP Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 You have two choices here -Do her a favour and break up -Do yourself a favour and get new friends 3 Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 Friends don't always have best intentions for you. They could very well be jealous that your gf has such good qualities that their's don't. If you are ready to commit to her. You make a family with her. Looks fade. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
tetrahedral Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 Where's your spine, OP? Own what you like and what you want in life. It's your opinion that matters. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author blueonblack Posted April 21, 2017 Author Share Posted April 21, 2017 Where's your spine, OP? Own what you like and what you want in life. It's your opinion that matters. I have a spine. It would just likely mean giving up my closest friends, who were there for me in the past. I definitely wouldn't mind settling down and starting a family with this girl. Starting over and getting all new friends that I've had for over 10 years is a tough decision though. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 Your friends are jerks. You don't have to tell them that but if you like this girl & think she's cute, that should be all that matters. Your friends are also really ugly on the inside, where it really counts, if they are pressuring you to dump an otherwise awesome person because they don't think she's pretty enough. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
CptInsano Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 The only question is whether another girl would make you feel any better. If you are happy with your current gf then it's all that matters. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 Starting over and getting all new friends that I've had for over 10 years is a tough decision though. Fine. Then keep the girl and tell your friends to mind their own damn business. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 Do you also get to choose their gfs? 8 Link to post Share on other sites
SwordofFlame Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 OP, is your social circle full of physically attractive and highly superficial people? Would she even fit in? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 As you get older the friends you have change, the pool gets automatically smaller... people move and get jobs after college.. get married.. etc etc.. till you have only a small handful of friends left from your school days.... So.... You keep the girl and ignore the friends as they have a limited, short time in your future life... How she makes YOU feel is all that matters.. your friends are just *******s... 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author blueonblack Posted April 21, 2017 Author Share Posted April 21, 2017 The only question is whether another girl would make you feel any better. If you are happy with your current gf then it's all that matters. That is a good point and I'd certainly like to feel that way. Thank you for all the responses, it's nice to hear other's perspectives . Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 Yep ,if your happy then that's all that matters, you betcha. One day when your friends are with someone they feel the same way about , they'll grow up a bit. ps , it's very common actually the not so a pretty girls are fantastic people and brilliant partners . 2 Link to post Share on other sites
tetrahedral Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 I have a spine. It would just likely mean giving up my closest friends, who were there for me in the past. I definitely wouldn't mind settling down and starting a family with this girl. Starting over and getting all new friends that I've had for over 10 years is a tough decision though. I don't see why you'd need to give up on the friends. Just own having the GF you want to have when they tease you, rather than let it make you want to change your life to suit their tastes. Why would it be a decision between your friends or the girl? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 I'd keep the girl and ditch the friends who aren't anything but supportive and wanting happiness for you as a priority . . . There are millions of people out there, you can find new friends. Finding a mate that makes you feel good and that you enjoy being with and provides a mutually satisfying relationship is much harder to find. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Jj66 Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 Step 1. Stop caring so much what others think. Step 2. Repeat. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Author blueonblack Posted April 21, 2017 Author Share Posted April 21, 2017 OP, is your social circle full of physically attractive and highly superficial people? Would she even fit in? Well I'm a fitness trainer and a lot of my friends are also in the same field: weightlifting / bodybuilding / physicial training so we are all in pretty good shape. Yes, they are all very superficial. No, she would not fit in with my friends. If it wasn't for my profession, I probably wouldn't either. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 "A pretty face gets old, a nice body will change. But a good woman will always be a good woman" 1. Tell your friends to STFU 2. If they don't, find new friends. 3. Enjoy your relationship. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author blueonblack Posted April 21, 2017 Author Share Posted April 21, 2017 Step 1. Stop caring so much what others think. Step 2. Repeat. I know I shouldn't care what they think, but they're some of my closest friends whose opinions I have valued in the past. Is it worth losing friends? This girl seems like one in a million to me. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Larryville Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 You have ONE choice here -Do her a favour and break up Or just be friends… OP Going to admit something, met a woman recently, everything like you described, great person but was a little heavy, not necessarily “ugly” but so-so. At first loved her personality, intelligence and sense of humor and thought I would give it a go. However as we were out to brunch downtown walking out of a restaurant she went to grab for me and I flinched, I recovered enough to not act completely standoffish till we got back to the car but I knew immediately my gut reaction. While it sounds noble for you to accept her not being so attractive initially that day will come for you too, I guarantee it, or else you would not have posted this thread. I almost posted a thread about what I did but I simply made the decision not to date her, for HER SAKE as much as for mine, she deserved better. Don’t try to be a hero, be honest with her and the sooner the better. If you truly think she is all that then go all in, but don't go forward with just a toe in the water. She deserves your respect NOT your pity. Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 I know I shouldn't care what they think, but they're some of my closest friends whose opinions I have valued in the past. Is it worth losing friends? This girl seems like one in a million to me. If she's truly one in a million then yes, it's worth losing superficial friends. It doesn't have to be a dramatic break from them. Just fade away. Spend more time with your GF. Make new friends. It will be OK. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 OK. Well you are too much of a people pleaser. You need to man up and tell each one of your friends who feels it's nice to tell you your woman is ugly to STFU and never disrespect you and your woman again. They are acting like ten-year-olds who hate girls! You cannot expect her to not get a whiff of this and really be mad at YOU for allowing it. So you better do it today and get it straight with those idiots before you lose her and all you got left is some shallow little boys. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
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