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Between friend and girlfriend


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My girlfriend and I have had a lot of fights and I have shared my stressful situation with some of my friends. Nevertheless, I love her so much and I want this relation to work. The fights have been a lot worse lately, and we both decided to give us another chance. Me, my girlfriend and my friend were out in my friend's car. We were inside the city and the accident rates inside city are very less. My girlfriend insisted me to wear seat belt. Apparently her mom had a serious car accident in a different country. I didn't want to wear seat belt, since it was a short transit. She kept on arguing as to why wearing seat belt is important. My friend was also telling that it is not required. I was trying to cheer her up and trying to make her laugh and make the situation lighter. I expected her to keep quiet when I said I don't want to wear it. But she went on. And then she got annoyed and just stopped talking to me, when I asked her something she didn't reply. My friend was also annoyed because it was more like questioning his driving skills. He asked her 'Why are you annoying your boyfriend and fighting with him for such a silly thing? I have been driving for 8 years and nothing has happened so far. You are making a tiny issue into something big which is not required'. His tone was a little strong and he clearly meant 'why cant you just shut up'. She got offended. My friend was supporting me, so I couldn't tell him anything. To make the moment a little lighter, I wore the seat belt. She replied to my friend - 'I am not questioning your driving skills, it could be someone else's fault as well. Why do even cars have seat belts then'. After we got out of the car, she made it a big issue saying - 'how can your friend talk like that to me. It was between us, why would he even talk to me. And when he said that, you didn't stand up for me? What respect do I have in front of your friends. You have projected me this way, that any random guy can say anything on my face, and you wouldn't say a word'. I told her 'you insulted me by asking continuously to wear seatbelt when I clearly didn't want to wear it, and hence I didn't want to stand up for you'. It ended up as a big fight and she didn't even take my apologies later. She says that she has been insulted a lot already and this added to everything else and she doesn't want to be with me. I am not sure if she is overreacting or if I was wrong

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You did not listen to her views. She has personal experience of the consequences of not wearing a seat belt and was concerned for you and your friend. You and your friend acted immaturely. I am not surprised she has decided to opt out. I am sure she would rather be with a boyfriend who takes her seriously and respects her views.

 

I have worked with scientists, some of them world famous. They are used to defending their research, speaking at conferences and being involved in debates. One of them was married to another scientist. If she gave her opinion on something, he totally respected it, as did his colleagues. I was surprised because male scientists can be a bit macho and opinionated, but it was certainly a lesson in what respect means. By the way, that female scientist also happens to be a brilliant mathematician.

 

Why can you not afford your girlfriend the same respect? Are you concerned that other guys may look down on you? I know a few guys who are high-achievers; all of them respect their wives/partners. A great man is strong enough to do so.

Edited by spiderowl
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whichwayisup

Sorry but you shouldn't be driving a car without wearing a seat belt even if it's not a far distance. It's the LAW. If a cop pulled you over you'd get a ticket for not wearing a belt. Or god forbid an accident happened, and you got injured all because you couldn't be bothered to put it on. Plus your gf explained her reasons as to why it's important and you fluffed her off like it was no big deal. THAT hurt her. and disrespected her too.

 

Your gf is right, you and your friend are in the wrong on this.

 

Not sure how old you are but you're not acting much like an adult or a responsible person.

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Seriously?

 

Dump her. She deserves better. Godforbid your girlfriend should be worried about your safety. You could have avoided this in two seconds by just putting your seatbelt on. The fact you would argue about something like this shows that you're not mature enough to be in a relationship anyway. Set her free

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I agree that you were in the wrong here.

 

 

In the US seat belts are mandatory. It's not about your friend's driving skills. It's not about the statistics of where accidents happen. It's about common sense. The safety device exists. The biomechanics of how much worse the consequences are for seat belted occupants vs. people not wearing the seat belt, make me always buckle up.

 

 

This was such a simple thing you could have done. Your GF was concerned about you. Buckling up & saying or at least thinking how loving it was for her to be concerned about your safety was the right move. Instead you acted like she was trying to control your entire life.

 

 

She really doesn't need a BF like you.

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