How has this site made life easier?

[FrancoStacy]

I would like to hear from users how this site has helped you? Has it helped or is it simple entertainment?

 

This is my first post and not sure this is the place for me or not. I am a divorced man. My wife left me and the kids 6 years ago. I fought to keep our marriage and family intact, but two years ago we got divorced. She wanted to get married and everyone thought she was divorced including her fiance so she asked me to make the divorce as quiet as possible and I did.

 

I struggle every day. I get my feet out of bed only because of God and my kids. Most people couldnt tell I struggle, my closest friends, which arent really that close, can tell.

 

I guess I am looking for a place to tell my story, maybe tell it several times. I looking to give advice based on my experiences and sharing. I still love my wife and kids but life is not the same. My wife does not exist, that woman is gone or perhaps she didnt exist and was fake for 22 years of marriage (last 4 of marriage she was gone).

 

So I am asking what this site means to you and is it just another thing you do, or does it help you in some manner

[Jj66]

I'm sorry to hear about your struggles. You will find a lot of people in the same boat around here.

 

The site is mostly just a diversion for me. Occasionally it lets me vent about things that I would not want to vent about to my friends. Frequently, it allows me to see other perspectives than my own.

 

Some of the advice on here is just plain bad under any circumstances. Following it would be pure lunacy. Other advice isn't suited to the nuances of your particular situation and following it may make your relationship problems worse and not better.

 

I guess what I am saying is caveat lector, reader beware.

[todreaminblue]

it is basically anonymous......i tend to come back when i am struggling to help others normally when i am room bound or house bound....i need to connect to people...i need that......i feel really isolated sometimes...i dont want to bother freinds or be a burden....and i dont want them to give up on me.....theres nothing they can do.....but blink lights for me to let me know they are there......

 

and to be honest....love shack keeps me sure of my celibacy.......turns me off having sex...its my virtual chastity belt......i joined in 2007.....an dstayed because it actually helps keep me determined......ill take breaks now and again when loveshack starts to make me paranoid anxious and depressed......i feel like i am obvious......im pretty open

 

my main goals on love shack is to help others with the experiences i have had and to connect when i feel isolated.....keep me going and feeling useful and worthwhile............i dotn often ask fro advice...i know basically any decision i make has to be my own..i do vent...and write things out.....on here to get thoughts out of my head..........deb

[Larryville]

i do vent...and write things out.....on here to get thoughts out of my head.....

 

I vent as well…

 

I use to write/blog about politics and societal stuff and here this forces you to read and process different types of situations scenarios and thoughts.

 

Also kinda sharpens reading comprehension too and it makes you think. You must be polite and sociable, you can’t rant like most social sites the moderators keep it civil.

 

The variety of thought processes from age, to gender, to race/ethnicity, to even country or origin is interesting.

 

While I might be busy at things at work kinda like a mental cigarette break. But when I go home I typically avoid also on weekends keeps it from being addictive.

[GorillaTheater]

This is my first post and not sure this is the place for me or not. I am a divorced man. My wife left me and the kids 6 years ago. I fought to keep our marriage and family intact, but two years ago we got divorced. She wanted to get married and everyone thought she was divorced including her fiance so she asked me to make the divorce as quiet as possible and I did.

 

 

I hope you leveraged her desire to "keep things quiet" to get a good deal for yourself. There are plenty of folks here who have been through similar, and can tell you how they got back on their feet and got their lives back. One of the early steps if not the first was letting go of their ex, realizing that the person they were grieving didn't really exist.

 

 

How are the kids doing? How are they dealing with the situation and your ex?

[FrancoStacy]

 

 

How are the kids doing? How are they dealing with the situation and your ex?

 

I guess ok. I mean I dont know how to answer that really. They are doing okay by todays standards, not by my standards. They are doing okay by my wife's standards, but not my standards. I know what they are missing and I see it surface in their everyday life. They have fallen into the statistics that are reported for divorced children. Increased absenteeism at school for three of them, lower standard of living for all of them, lower grades for sure for one of them, one of them went from an honor student to missing 60 percent of the last two years in high school. I had to beg the school to not kick her out. One has been on drugs, just like statistics and she was an all American kid before her mom walked away, she also suffers depression and has had suicidal tendencies and been on drugs and in two abusive relationships. That one had her car reprocessed because she simply just quit working...made money on the side by selling pot and God knows what else, but didnt pay her bills. The youngest has spoken about how he misses his family, the others never mention it and speak like we never had all those years together. One was so angry at her mom....then now seems to have forgotten it all. When the x got married, all four kids were there. Three were in the wedding, one would not participate but attended. One broke down in front of people and cried hysterically. One cried at the wedding in private. One said she cried when her mom surprised her with the engagement and was acting like she should not have anything but happiness about it. So you tell me, how are they doing?

 

But they function. If you saw them walking down the street or shopping or at the movie theater, they would look like anyone else. They havent tried suicide, havent been thrown in jail. They laugh at times. One visits her mom a lot which is one that lives with me. One just now started visiting her mom. If you looked at their mom's facebook you would think they are the happiest kids in the world and they function like a family and nothing but laughter and smiles and since I am not on facebook...I dont exist.