My Name is Trip Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 We were playing a truth or drink game and it was kind of my fault for asking but I was just so curious and he told me that 2 of his exs were prettier than me and 3 had a better body than me but that he has the best connection with me and likes my personality the most of all of them. I know I should find security in that he is happiest with me but the truth is, all his exs broke up with him first and he said he wouldnt have broken up with them. So really the only reason we are together now is because they didn't like him enough not because he didnt like them. I feel hurt because even though I shouldnt have asked if I cant handle the truth, I feel insecure because he is my first ever bf and I have no one to compare him to so i think he is the greatest thing that ever happened to me but he has had an extensive relationship history and can make comparisons like that Link to post Share on other sites
anduina Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 Might his lack of tact have something to do with his exs breaking up with him? 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 You should feel insecure... it isn't your fault however...he set out to make you feel that way Your BF is an ass.... plan and simple.. good luck in the future with this guy. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 He should've lied and said you're the best at everything. I'm sorry to say this but he sounds dumb. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 I guess you won't make that mistake again. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 thats not a nice thing for a boyfriend to say.....he sounds a bit clueless.....deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 He should be your X 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 3, 2017 Share Posted April 3, 2017 You shouldn't have asked and he should have lied. I'm not sure there's any recovery from this.... 6 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted April 3, 2017 Share Posted April 3, 2017 You shouldn't have asked and he should have lied. I'm not sure there's any recovery from this.... You should not of asked and he should of not lied. Though he should of not been blunt or cruel in his answers. He should of used tact such as for him beauty is not based just on things as bra size or any one attribute but on how the sum of all of the parts add up. Then closed with he is the most happiest with you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 3, 2017 Share Posted April 3, 2017 I'll tell you what I used to tell my mom after I was grown: If you don't want to hear the answer, don't ask the question. This is a no foul because you pressured him into it. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted April 3, 2017 Share Posted April 3, 2017 I'll tell you what I used to tell my mom after I was grown: If you don't want to hear the answer, don't ask the question. This is a no foul because you pressured him into it. But in her case, she probably just wanted reassurance from her bf that he *thinks* she is the prettiest in his mind. Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted April 3, 2017 Share Posted April 3, 2017 Women: Don't ask questions to which you do not want to hear the answer. Men: If a girl ever asks you if she's smarter / prettier / sexier than anyone else, the answer is always YES! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 4, 2017 Share Posted April 4, 2017 But in her case, she probably just wanted reassurance from her bf that he *thinks* she is the prettiest in his mind. Well, that's immature and unrealistic. Haven't we ALL been out with someone better looking than who we're with now? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Dru76 Posted April 4, 2017 Share Posted April 4, 2017 Well, that's immature and unrealistic. Haven't we ALL been out with someone better looking than who we're with now? My current boyfriend is definitely the best looking guy I've been with, so not necessarily. Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted April 4, 2017 Share Posted April 4, 2017 You put him in an impossible situation. If he lied, you'd probably know it, and then you'd be here questioning what else he lies about, and everyone would say leave him, he's a liar. He told the truth, and you feel insecure, even though he says you're a better overall match. Believe him - since he told the truth. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Larryville Posted April 4, 2017 Share Posted April 4, 2017 He should be your X Yup... and every minute after the moment he made such a jackass statement and you are still with him says more about YOU than him. Jackasses will be jackasses but way too many people post stuff about a significant other (and I use that term loosely) on here doing something rude, crude or idiotic and wonder what they should do… he is my first ever bf and I have no one to compare him to Well he is an f’ing idiot and any dude in the future who says such a thing tell them to F off! At a minimum make basic respect in a relationship a a deal breaker. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Rockdad Posted April 4, 2017 Share Posted April 4, 2017 Honey it's much like asking the question how many they have had sex with. Sometimes it's better to remain curious than know every detail especially in an infant relationship. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 4, 2017 Share Posted April 4, 2017 It's better to wait until you see his exes and let your own eyes tell you what you need to know. Some people have been raised to tell the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
anduina Posted April 4, 2017 Share Posted April 4, 2017 Often, objective truth and subjective honesty aren't synonymous. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 4, 2017 Share Posted April 4, 2017 My current boyfriend is definitely the best looking guy I've been with, so not necessarily. Yes, but your next one will be the one who asks the question, because the real good looking guy is probably too secure to care. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ZayKayWill Posted April 4, 2017 Share Posted April 4, 2017 You put him in an impossible situation. If he lied, you'd probably know it, and then you'd be here questioning what else he lies about, and everyone would say leave him, he's a liar. He told the truth, and you feel insecure, even though he says you're a better overall match. Believe him - since he told the truth. Y'know I was gonna take everyone else's side that called the guy a jerk, but you've made a great point. Afterall, it was HER that asked and yeah if he lied there's a high chance it would look obvious that he was lying. If I was in her position I would be pretty hurt, but I'd probably get over it. After all, relationships aren't based purely on looks, at least not for most people. I have a couple of friends (both of whom are together) who were in somewhat a similar situation. The guy said that he watches porn because his gf's body 'doesn't turn him on'. Hate to say it but if I was the girl, I probably would have left right then and there. He LITERALLY said that he doesn't find her attractive and that he uses porn to deal with that. There's no taking that back. There's no saying, "I'm sorry honey I take back what I said I've learned from my mistakes and now I see what I did wrong." He meant what he said. He can't 'take back' what he said unless she were to do something different with her body. Oddly enough they're still together. Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted April 4, 2017 Share Posted April 4, 2017 At a minimum make basic respect in a relationship a a deal breaker.Answering a question truthfully is disrespectful? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ZayKayWill Posted April 4, 2017 Share Posted April 4, 2017 Answering a question truthfully is disrespectful? Central made a great point. He told the truth and he's a bad guy for not *deliberately* lying. He literally had no choice. It'd be one thing if she asked, "Do you think I'm pretty?" "Of course! I wouldn't be with you if I didn't!" Even if he didn't really think she was pretty he could still say yes in the sense that he thinks she's pretty on the inside. But the girl literally asked him to compare her to his exes. That's kind of hard to lie about. But if he DID lie and she caught it, he'd still be a bad guy. I hate to say it but this is why I tend not to post my personal life on online forums anymore. Everyone is so quick to take sides and not look at both sides of the situation. We're all guilty of it from time to time, but still. It's not okay. You have a right to be wrong of course, but when you're trying to convince somebody of what the 'objective' truth is when they're seeking answers and a calmness from their current situation, it's important to look at both sides. We're all here to be helpful, right? Taking one side definitely is not being helpful, even if said side is in favor of the person originally asking the question. If anything, it's detrimental. Link to post Share on other sites
benpom Posted April 9, 2017 Share Posted April 9, 2017 (edited) I feel insecure because he is my first ever bf and I have no one to compare him to so i think he is the greatest thing that ever happened to me but he has had an extensive relationship history and can make comparisons like that The key here is that the boyfriend was left by the ex's. So weather the ex's were prettier or not would not matter much. If they were uglier, it would be even worse, you would feel that you are worse than the uglier ex's. He is pretty inconsiderate. He clearly does not value your feelings much. I think he values your feelings to a degree, but not to a degree a boyfriend should. Maybe it's the reason why he got dumped by ex's in the first place. Edited April 9, 2017 by benpom Link to post Share on other sites
taiko Posted April 9, 2017 Share Posted April 9, 2017 A lot of people fire differently on the social interaction spectrum. From mild saying the wrong thing or joking about the wrong subject all the way to full blown autism. If you are honest with yourself you were probably not the most (fill in the blank of any specific trait) that your partner has know but in our fantasy romance world we want to demand a partner who has accepted the convention to lie in such situations. Or at least change the subject. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts