Men's perception of women's appearance

[No_Go]

Some very confusing statements from my ex that left me a little baffled. He recently told me I 'let go' with him because I stopped wearing makeup on our nights out.

 

Thing is - I never did I like my make up (almost like a hobby) and wear it even when staying at home the whole day. I'm talking foundation, blush, brow gel, eyeliner, mascara & lip product daily, occasionally some extras. However - I believe I'm pretty good & subtle with it and use natural colors most of the time, so it is not 'in your face' from an airplane.

 

I'm just wondering what guys 'see' - just red lipstick & blue eyeshadows ?

 

Same with clothing - I wear skirts/dress pants + fitted tops or knee-length dresses + low/mid heels, and he's saying this looked casual to him. Asking what he liked: he's pointing out chicks in yoga pants & sport tops That's less casual, really?? For me this is strictly gym clothing...

 

I'm just wondering is this a man/woman difference in perception, cultural thing (I'm European), or he's an outliar that has weird tastes. I'm planning to start dating very soon, so for me it is interesting to hear what men like.

Edited March 22, 2017 by No_Go

[CaliforniaGirl]

Media (and Photoshop) probably make men expect women to look amazingly dolled up all the time.

 

With that said, I've RARELY met the man who wished his girlfriend or wife would wear more makeup. Though I find men are more likely to believe a woman doesn't have any makeup on at all because she's wearing neutral colors - even if layers of them, complete with fixed brows, bronzer and the whole ball of wax - I think your ex was either simply looking for justification for having lost interest, or had gotten used to your look and wanted some strange.

[JuneL]

Some very confusing statements from my ex that left me a little baffled. He recently told me I 'let go' with him because I stopped wearing makeup on our nights out.

 

Thing is - I never did I like my make up (almost like a hobby) and wear it even when staying at home the whole day. I'm talking foundation, blush, brow gel, eyeliner, mascara & lip product daily, occasionally some extras. However - I believe I'm pretty good & subtle with it and use natural colors most of the time, so it is not 'in your face' from an airplane.

 

I'm just wondering what guys 'see' - just red lipstick & blue eyeshadows ?

 

Same with clothing - I wear skirts/dress pants + fitted tops or knee-length dresses + low/mid heels, and he's saying this looked casual to him. Asking what he liked: he's pointing out chicks in yoga pants & sport tops That's less casual, really?? For me this is strictly gym clothing...

 

I'm just wondering is this a man/woman difference in perception, cultural thing (I'm European), or he's an outliar that has weird tastes. I'm planning to start dating very soon, so for me it is interesting to hear what men like.

 

Not a guy here, but I personally like your style (elegant yet not over the top). No offense, but from what you have written about this guy in various threads, he sounds like a passive aggressive weirdo, and it boggles my mind that you actually waited until he was trying to cheat before breaking up with him. Why does his weird taste matter to you? Did he also put a lot of effort into grooming himself while you were going out?

[CaliforniaGirl]

Not a guy here, but I personally like your style (elegant yet not over the top). No offense, but from what you have written about this guy in various threads, he sounds like a passive aggressive weirdo, and it boggles my mind that you actually waited until he was trying to cheat before breaking up with him. Why does his weird taste matter to you? Did he also put a lot of effort into grooming himself while you were going out?

 

Exactly. I hope this guy was a damned fashion plate! Right down to "good shoes" and topped with mini-razored between-the-brows and the careful hair trim every 3 weeks...

[SwordofFlame]

Guy here. I don't have much of a preference for make up. Just don't overdo it or try to make a statement with it.

 

Attire. Skirt, dress and yoga pants are all really attractive. Dress pants or any other pants that are not yoga pants are not . Don't really care about footwear. Don't have much of a preference for tops either.

[RecentChange]

Heh. Yeah men can be funny about make up.

 

I don't wear any most days - but I do always put some in before "going out" (which is 2-3 times a week on average).

 

It looks quite subtle - but takes a few products to get there (light foundation, concealer, cheek tint, powder, brow gel, eyeliner (water line), modest cat eye (liquid liner), curled lashes, mascura, lip color).

 

Often when I am getting ready he'll say "oh it's casual, you don't need to fuss" "I like you without makeup" - but then with make up its "god damn you look hot tonight" or comments about my lips etc etc.

 

So he says "you don't need it"! But then his reaction tells me that he likes it.

[CaliforniaGirl]

Guy here. I don't have much of a preference for make up. Just don't overdo it or try to make a statement with it.

 

Attire. Skirt, dress and yoga pants are all really attractive. Dress pants or any other pants that are not yoga pants are not . Don't really care about footwear. Don't have much of a preference for tops either.

 

No jeans? (10 characters)

[SwordofFlame]

No jeans? (10 characters)

 

Tight fitting jeans are ok I guess. They don't really attract or detract for me.

[NTV]

I agree with sword of flame on this one. Only time shoes are sexy is heels in bed.

[Larryville]

I wear skirts/dress pants + fitted tops or knee-length dresses + low/mid heels, and he's saying this looked casual to him. Asking what he liked: he's pointing out chicks in yoga pants & sport tops

 

That's less casual, really?? For me this is strictly gym clothing...

 

I bet the women he would check out while either out with you, or with the guys are going to be wearing that stuff.

 

If you are a woman that dresses “mature” and together maybe that reminds him of his mom or older women. Since we can’t see don’t know, why so many guys try to shoot for much younger women. That is about them NOT you.

 

I know this is pretty much a generational thing, maybe cultural and how you were raised.

 

It is NOT about what you specifically wear, or specifically wearing make-up, lipstick.

 

It also has nothing to do with wearing revealing clothes.

 

For me (I’m 53) there is a way someone carries themselves. I live in a college town I see hot young girls all the time, damn near all of them are wearing yoga pants.

 

However on occasion if I am out and about you see a woman in their 40’s or 50’s and they may be wearing something casual, maybe jeans but they are baggy, a shirt that is not particularly flattering, shoes that are dirty and hair that is all over the place. If that is how you present yourself 24/7 dudes will get turned off.

 

Some women frankly can wear damn near anything and still look good, but part of that comes with personality, how they walk, smile, a vibe they give off when in public. Some might dress on occasion kinda “funky” to use on old school term and be able to carry it off.

 

If you see women with slumped shoulders, dragging their feet, wearing baggy clothes, grossly outdated clothes you can just tell what is going on inside as well as outside.

 

Also why where you live matters too. If you live in Southern California for example too many attractive people roaming about, or Dallas for example you go to the upscale parts of the city every women you see young and old and hooked-up.

 

Matters where you come from and old farm town, or Cali or NYC or out on the town in the ATL you dress with your environment.

[hippychick3]

I wear makeup (not a lot...natural looking as well) most days unless I'm at the gym. I do it strictly for myself as I feel better about myself when I'm wearing some makeup. I don't recall my bf ever commenting on my makeup though. He does express a preference for clothes and would love for me to wear yoga pants 24/7. Lol

[No_Go]

Eh.. His opinion matters to the point I though he gives a honest 'outsider' point of view because we're not together. It is a different topic why I stayed with him... I thought he's a good intellectual & sexual match, but moreso - he was nurturing and this is a need of mine since I never had a proper family structure. In the end of the day it doens't matter besides that I wasted a lot of time & energy with him.

 

Did he put a lot of effort in grooming? Heck no Jeans & a sweater/casual shirt the most of our nights out. Generally he's a sports clothes type. That's why I find his remarks very much out of place tbh.

 

Not a guy here, but I personally like your style (elegant yet not over the top). No offense, but from what you have written about this guy in various threads, he sounds like a passive aggressive weirdo, and it boggles my mind that you actually waited until he was trying to cheat before breaking up with him. Why does his weird taste matter to you? Did he also put a lot of effort into grooming himself while you were going out?

[No_Go]

Eh I suspected footwear is not that important for guys. I like expensive shoes though. Probably the only expensive accessory that I give a damn about. So I have some good designer ones but as with make up, you'd never tell unless you're specifically looking for red soles and other tell tale signs...

 

Stiletto platforms or other outwardly sexy styles - no way though, to me it gives some trashy vibes (I know, i know that sounds judgemental for no reason).

 

Guy here. I don't have much of a preference for make up. Just don't overdo it or try to make a statement with it.

 

Attire. Skirt, dress and yoga pants are all really attractive. Dress pants or any other pants that are not yoga pants are not . Don't really care about footwear. Don't have much of a preference for tops either.

[preraph]

If his tastes is women in yoga pants, I certainly wouldn't bow to his preferences, at least not out in public.

 

To me, that doesn't sound even truthful. To me, that sounds like she saw some babe with a slammin' body and she just happened to be wearing yoga pants and he just wants you to be her.

 

Since he obviously isn't down for the natural makeup, smear on some red lipstick for him when you go out.

[No_Go]

I kind of suspected that it is the youthful vibe. I'm not that old (32; he's older btw), but I've never had this in me, even when I was 16. I definitely steer away from baggy clothes, but I don't even own anything that can pass as 'youthful look', most of my clothes will pass as business casual / elegant.

Is that a turn off? I don't see myself looking old but def. do not give the hot girl vibe that you describe, more like elegant / professional (and I don't feel like I can change it because it is more than outfits, it's my personality type).

I'm in Boston btw if that matters. I don't have any concerns about my body or face, but I'm the polar opposite of say a Southern Californian stereotypical chic.

 

I bet the women he would check out while either out with you, or with the guys are going to be wearing that stuff.

 

If you are a woman that dresses “mature” and together maybe that reminds him of his mom or older women. Since we can’t see don’t know, why so many guys try to shoot for much younger women. That is about them NOT you.

 

I know this is pretty much a generational thing, maybe cultural and how you were raised.

 

It is NOT about what you specifically wear, or specifically wearing make-up, lipstick.

 

It also has nothing to do with wearing revealing clothes.

 

For me (I’m 53) there is a way someone carries themselves. I live in a college town I see hot young girls all the time, damn near all of them are wearing yoga pants.

 

However on occasion if I am out and about you see a woman in their 40’s or 50’s and they may be wearing something casual, maybe jeans but they are baggy, a shirt that is not particularly flattering, shoes that are dirty and hair that is all over the place. If that is how you present yourself 24/7 dudes will get turned off.

 

Some women frankly can wear damn near anything and still look good, but part of that comes with personality, how they walk, smile, a vibe they give off when in public. Some might dress on occasion kinda “funky” to use on old school term and be able to carry it off.

 

If you see women with slumped shoulders, dragging their feet, wearing baggy clothes, grossly outdated clothes you can just tell what is going on inside as well as outside.

 

Also why where you live matters too. If you live in Southern California for example too many attractive people roaming about, or Dallas for example you go to the upscale parts of the city every women you see young and old and hooked-up.

 

Matters where you come from and old farm town, or Cali or NYC or out on the town in the ATL you dress with your environment.

[No_Go]

Ugh he's an ex for a reason I'm just using him as a source of hopefully objective opinion. I have good physical stats, size 2-4, tall, so I don't think he could have had complained for my body type;) Of course each to their own preference...

 

 

If his tastes is women in yoga pants, I certainly wouldn't bow to his preferences, at least not out in public.

 

To me, that doesn't sound even truthful. To me, that sounds like she saw some babe with a slammin' body and she just happened to be wearing yoga pants and he just wants you to be her.

 

Since he obviously isn't down for the natural makeup, smear on some red lipstick for him when you go out.

[palmsand]

I don't really notice makeup unless it is over the top. Maybe notice a shadow of a mustache over most everything else.

 

 

Of course, guys like clothes tight and showing skin, from a physical attraction point of view. Shoes would be the last thing I'd notice, or have an opinion on.

[Jj66]

Women care way more about shoes than men do. My gf won't even go for a run without her make up on.

[Fair]

Go understated of you want to find a quality man, in fact, don't even wear make up. Men may dream of the model but irl won't go near her with a ten foot pole. Not for a serious relationship.

[No_Go]

Go understated of you want to find a quality man, in fact, don't even wear make up. Men may dream of the model but irl won't go near her with a ten foot pole. Not for a serious relationship.

 

I can't afford going too casual - it unfortunately affects how people perceive you at work etc.

 

Why would a quality man prefer understated partner?

 

As a female, level of grooming of a man is not affecting my attraction, as long as we're around the middle of the curve. Too high maintenance is a turn off (including too much muscle), as well as ibviously bad hygiene etc.

[CaliforniaGirl]

Women care way more about shoes than men do. My gf won't even go for a run without her make up on.

 

Except me. I love makeup (never over-the-top, though), I love hair, it's fun to mess around with; I adore cute trendy tops with tight jeans. Love all that stuff!

 

But shoes? I'm...mystified.

 

I literally own fewer pairs of shoes than my husband. He owns four pairs. I own two in rotation, a pair of nice black sandals with little studs on them that have a slight heel/height but are amazingly comfortable (because they're Sketchers), and a pair of sneakers (also Sketchers). I had three pairs for a brief period - one other pair of heel sandals - but because I started wearing the new pair, that other pair is stuffed in the back of my closet under a thousand things in case my other shoes disappear or meet with a freak bleach accident or something.

 

BTW: my husband always knows when I have makeup on. He likes it. I don't think he's ever asked me to wear more of it, but he does notice and he thinks I look nice that way. He's smart enough not to ever say I don't look as good without it, though. Married men don't stay married for nothing...

[preraph]

Ugh he's an ex for a reason I'm just using him as a source of hopefully objective opinion. I have good physical stats, size 2-4, tall, so I don't think he could have had complained for my body type;) Of course each to their own preference...

 

Yeah. Maybe he just likes to complain and put you down. To build himself up.

[Sweetfish]

Some very confusing statements from my ex that left me a little baffled. He recently told me I 'let go' with him because I stopped wearing makeup on our nights out.

 

 

I think he is lying to you.

[Chilli]

l'm probably the odd one out here but nothing new there though.

But l love casual stuff. really not into any of the business or too prim proper look at all.

To me the casual stuff looks hot as on a good looking lady , but that's me.

Love gym yoga gear , hipster jeans, shoes, boots , tops.

Make up yeah l love some lippy and eye shadow too.

Girls would be amazed at how some nice lippy can effect a guy.

 

My gf wears sh@t l just love though she is pretty classy which l don;t usually like much but she still just happens to dress in ways l love.

lt's usually the general look and clothes a girl wears is the first thing attracts me and she's got oodles of it.

 

Me l come form a big city but live in a rural area now and dress way down or l'd stand out like tits on a dog. Oddly enough though gf loves me the scruffier the better so that works out anyway.

Edited March 23, 2017 by Chilli

[JuneL]

Eh.. His opinion matters to the point I though he gives a honest 'outsider' point of view because we're not together. It is a different topic why I stayed with him... I thought he's a good intellectual & sexual match, but moreso - he was nurturing and this is a need of mine since I never had a proper family structure. In the end of the day it doens't matter besides that I wasted a lot of time & energy with him.

 

Did he put a lot of effort in grooming? Heck no Jeans & a sweater/casual shirt the most of our nights out. Generally he's a sports clothes type. That's why I find his remarks very much out of place tbh.

 

Thanks for responding. Did he at least give you compliments when you dressed the way he liked or wore makeup that was obvious to him?

 

I agree with your answer in another post that you can't be too casual at work in order to be taken seriously. But I thought your ex comment was directed toward your looks when you guys went out?