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Girlfriend humiliates me by publicly drooling for TV star


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My girlfriend met a TV star recently during work. She took a bunch of photos with him (where they were hugging) and then immediately posted them on Facebook with comments like "My husband", “I want him” and “i wish he would call me”. Now, I know that people express desire for others but this was ridiculous.... She just went on and on. On this particular thread, she made about 50 similar comments, most of which were semi sexual in nature and some were even very graphic. We often comment about who we find attractive but this was an over the top public display of sexual arousal with little concern for my feelings.

 

To be honest, any woman would have her boyfriend's head on a plate if he would do something like this. When I called her out on it, she didn’t seem to care, got pissed off and just hung the phone on me. I'm furious.

 

To put things in perspective, she’s been giving me the hot-cold treatment for the past 2 months. She also disappeared for 5 days recently, explaining that she had been under a lot of stress. We have been planning to move in together and even to marry but this particular incident has really put me off.

 

Let's be clear here: it's not the fact that she was attracted to someone else, but rather the public display, as if done specifically to hurt me. And the fact that she hung up the phone doesn't help. I’m at a loss here and am feeling a mix of confusion and anger. The display is so exaggerated that I'm thinking she's trying to make me break up over it, which I'm about to do. The past 2 months have been too much of a rollercoaster ride and am done. Thoughts? Do you consider this to be disrespectful?

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thefooloftheyear

It may be that she's checking out on you, ...50 comments??....Sexual in nature.??? That's kinda over the top..but if you want to deal with this particular issue, then

 

Don't say anything to her...

 

The next time you are out together and a woman with big tits or a nice ass walks by, make a comment, like..."wow....look at the ass on that one, holy shyt!!"...

 

Then wait for the inevitable response from her..

T

Right then you bring up the thing on FB...Hopefully you can then have an adult conversation about why it's inconsiderate to do that type of stuff...But she sounds pretty immature, though...

 

TFY

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You're clearly not happy in the relationship and feel disrespected. So just dump her. The tools for fixing your problems are at your fingertips should you choose to use them.

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It certainly didn't take your feelings into account.

 

 

Celebrity crushes are usually just silly. There is rarely a chance the person will meet the celebrity.

 

 

Here it's a different story. She met the crush & took pictures. If it was 2-3 photos & one comment about how cute her fantasy person is, I'd tell you to simmer down. I'd say the same thing if the rolls were reversed.

 

 

There's a possibility I may get to meet one of my celebrity crushes at the end of next month. DH will be there. In fact he's the one arranging it. He actually booked us to stay in the same hotel where some filming might be going on. Trouble is I like the character the celebrity plays on TV. I think the man himself is a twit. In character if I got a photo with the crush I can see myself being cheeky & publically on social media asking DH for a proverbial hall pass to use with the fictional character, but that's about as far as I would take it. I'd also probably follow up with something about how my real life DH is so much better than some silly star anyway.

 

 

Unfortunately your GF went way over the top. I agree with darkmoon that she sounds immature. If she won't address how her behavior hurt your feelings then you two don't have much of a future.

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Well, my perspective is a bit different because I came from a career where meeting celebs happened often. What it meant was it was hard to date anyone not also in the industry or they would be intolerant.

 

But this isn't much different than a guy who goes to a strip club, really, or even to Hooters and ogles the goods or goes to Comicon or any of those costume conventions. And guys do that ALL the time to their girlfriends and do you think they don't put it up on Facebook? Of course they do.

 

I suggest you look at this as just a fact of life that, fortunately, will not recur frequently enough to become an issue. It's not like your girlfriend banged Motley Crue like a certain ex bf's second wife did. You'll have a story to tell the grandkids. Please just chill out. If you got a chance to cozy up to Sofia Vergara and take a photo, I bet you'd have your head right in her cleavage if she'd let you and blast it all over social media. If not, then you are a better man than I could ever be.

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she sounds like a teenager, nothing wrong with that except there is no maturity, so do not expect much respect, just games

 

She's 37 years old.

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If you pay attention, you will see this behavior in real life as well-- drooling over physically attractive guys, as if never seen a guy before in her life, lol

 

All in all, not relationship material.

 

Disrespectful, the 'courage'to do it in your face and get away with ( it will happen more often if she gets away ), cheap thrill at your cost.

 

Everything is fair game in her view, unless it happens to her.

 

Chin up dude. She tried to humiliate you but the joke is on her. The greatest thing about dating is you can dump and find someone with same values and moral ethics.

 

If she was in her 20s , it would be different but not at 37 ! Its the same as 'men' , drooling ,salivating and ogling everything that moves and try to get away by saying : men look.Its normal. No. Its not normal for normal guys.

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So you say the relationship has been stuttering for the last couple of months?

Sounds to me that with this last display of a complete and utter lack of respect by her towards you it has now flamed out.

Perhaps you would be well advised to pick up your ball (or balls) and go home and leave her to her Facebook fantasies.

Next!

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I think you're all overreacting. Everyone goes nuts meeting celebs, and who isn't going to post a photo of that? And if it's one of your favorites, you ARE going to be drooling. This can be very exciting for most people.

 

But yeah, I agree not a match, but only because he's too insecure to withstand a woman being excited about a celeb and is too easily "humiliated." Do her a favor and dump her.

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50 comments?!? :eek: Sounds like a plea for attention tbh, and a rather immature one at that.

 

Yeah, it's normal for people to talk about hot celebs, but she's waaaaay overdoing it. I wouldn't say it's necessarily a threat to your relationship, but that behaviour is incredibly immature and a turn-off IMO. It's okay when you're 14, not when you're 37.

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PrettyEmily77

Looks like she knows how to push your buttons, OP.

 

Honestly, I'd be much more concerned about the 5-day disappearing act than the TV star thing.

 

Whether or not she is deliberately trying to make you initiate the breakup is neither here nor there; if you feel like you're at the end of your tether, act on it for your own peace of mind but whatever you do, don't try to one-up her in the immaturity stakes or start playing games.

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To put things in perspective, she’s been giving me the hot-cold treatment for the past 2 months. She also disappeared for 5 days recently, explaining that she had been under a lot of stress.

 

Honestly I find this the most troubling. Ghosted for 5 days? That's sooo disrespectful. You two should be partners. She should run to you in times of stress or need, not "disappear".

 

Do not marry this woman. You two do not know how to work together as a team. How to be each other's rocks. How to be each other's safe place.

 

You need those things to survive the thick and thin you will face when married for decades. You two already show that you have communication breakdowns and incompatibilities. Marriage won't make any of this better, but rather test it.

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I agree. Women do this constantly and it is quite infuriating when it goes a bit too far. But in this case, I think the 5 days of going NC on you is highly suspicious. Nobody in a serious relationship does that. I would call things off instantly if something like that happened without a reasonable explanation.

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But this isn't much different than a guy who goes to a strip club, really, or even to Hooters and ogles the goods or goes to Comicon or any of those costume conventions. And guys do that ALL the time to their girlfriends and do you think they don't put it up on Facebook? Of course they do.

 

I suggest you look at this as just a fact of life that, fortunately, will not recur frequently enough to become an issue. It's not like your girlfriend banged Motley Crue like a certain ex bf's second wife did. You'll have a story to tell the grandkids. Please just chill out. If you got a chance to cozy up to Sofia Vergara and take a photo, I bet you'd have your head right in her cleavage if she'd let you and blast it all over social media. If not, then you are a better man than I could ever be.

 

I second this. If a guy ogles a woman in public in front of his gf/wife there will be string of comments along the lines of "that's how men are" "men look" "men are visual" "get used to it" etc - basically telling you to shut up and get over it.

 

I think you're all overreacting. Everyone goes nuts meeting celebs, and who isn't going to post a photo of that? And if it's one of your favorites, you ARE going to be drooling. This can be very exciting for most people.

 

But yeah, I agree not a match, but only because he's too insecure to withstand a woman being excited about a celeb and is too easily "humiliated." Do her a favor and dump her.

 

I agree with this. Meeting a celeb and getting star struck is one thing - actually going through with the act of cheating is another. TBH if I met a celeb i might have a similar reaction. Drooling over a celebrity is completely innocuous. If a woman posted about her BF drooling over having just met Adriana Lima a lot of men would probably be posting with a laugh telling you to ease up, that's just how guys are.

 

Disappearing for 5 days is way more troubling than freaking out over a celebrity.

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thefooloftheyear
I second this. If a guy ogles a woman in public in front of his gf/wife there will be string of comments along the lines of "that's how men are" "men look" "men are visual" "get used to it" etc - basically telling you to shut up and get over it.

 

 

 

I agree with this. Meeting a celeb and getting star struck is one thing - actually going through with the act of cheating is another. TBH if I met a celeb i might have a similar reaction. Drooling over a celebrity is completely innocuous. If a woman posted about her BF drooling over having just met Adriana Lima a lot of men would probably be posting with a laugh telling you to ease up, that's just how guys are.

 

Disappearing for 5 days is way more troubling than freaking out over a celebrity.

 

 

There is no double standard that I am aware of....No guy I know could do what this woman is doing without catching shyt from his SO....And most women I know are not okay with their guys going to strip clubs..

 

In a thread recently, it was brought up how a woman didn't like how her guy was checking out women in public right in front of her...I dont recall anyone saying it was OK....I do remember people saying men check out women, I did as well, but that it wasn;t OK to be overt about it..Id imagine women do the same.

 

TFY

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Could be the sour the milk strategy. Provoke a reaction then you're the bad guy OP. Once you figure out that no matter how badly she might treat you, there's always another guy who wants to have sex with her and she knows it, life gets easier. Mostly ;)

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I second this. If a guy ogles a woman in public in front of his gf/wife there will be string of comments along the lines of "that's how men are" "men look" "men are visual" "get used to it" etc - basically telling you to shut up and get over it.

 

 

Meh, I think both (what you mentioned and what the OP's gf is doing) are unacceptable in anyone above the age of 18. There's no way I'd put up with a SO doing what you mentioned, lots of women wouldn't either.

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JustGettingBy
Well, my perspective is a bit different because I came from a career where meeting celebs happened often. What it meant was it was hard to date anyone not also in the industry or they would be intolerant.

 

But this isn't much different than a guy who goes to a strip club, really, or even to Hooters and ogles the goods or goes to Comicon or any of those costume conventions. And guys do that ALL the time to their girlfriends and do you think they don't put it up on Facebook? Of course they do.

 

I suggest you look at this as just a fact of life that, fortunately, will not recur frequently enough to become an issue. It's not like your girlfriend banged Motley Crue like a certain ex bf's second wife did. You'll have a story to tell the grandkids. Please just chill out. If you got a chance to cozy up to Sofia Vergara and take a photo, I bet you'd have your head right in her cleavage if she'd let you and blast it all over social media. If not, then you are a better man than I could ever be.

 

 

Single guys do that kind of thing a fair bit, but guys who respect their gf would avoid that behaviour if they were smart and wanted to keep their gf. Same applies here. A single woman doing what the OP described would've been okay, one in a relationship, no.

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