Do women get friendzoned and why?

[leogirl876]

A girl I work with you is very pretty, has a fun personality and IMO from a female standpoint has sex appeal but she said she gets friendzoned a lot from men she's interested in. I asked some obvious questions like "you don't burp or fart around them do you?" and she was like no. So I'm wondering why a man would friend zone a hot woman? I always thought that was something that happened to ugly, dorky men.

[h57zf]

Maybe the guy already has a girlfriend, or maybe it's personality, or maybe the guy is just playing the long game.

[4kad]

A girl I work with you is very pretty, has a fun personality and IMO from a female standpoint has sex appeal but she said she gets friendzoned a lot from men she's interested in. I asked some obvious questions like "you don't burp or fart around them do you?" and she was like no. So I'm wondering why a man would friend zone a hot woman? I always thought that was something that happened to ugly, dorky men.

 

 

Yes they do, I am about to friendzone this woman because she constantly ask me about my salary and I am turned off. So as of now we can't be anymore than friends.

[Lilyana76]

Oh yes. I don't know what it is either.

 

I think I'm good looking, not hot, but I'm classic girl next door type. I have a good personality and am outgoing and at least I think I'm funny...

 

But, I have a mass of guy friends. Now, I think most of them are pigs... let me explain. I get friend zoned all the time. These "friends" find women who they must enjoy better than they enjoy me. But once they are with these other women they will text me or ask me to have flings with them, saying "what she don't know won't hurt her." I'm not a woman that messes with other womens men, so that is an absolute no for me.

 

I don't know why these men always find me ok to screw around with, but not to have anything deep and meaningful with? I'd like some incite as to why as well?

[Shining One]

So I'm wondering why a man would friend zone a hot woman? I always thought that was something that happened to ugly, dorky men.

First, let's determine if she is actually being put in the friend zone. Has she attempted to get sexual with any of these men and been shut down?

I don't know why these men always find me ok to screw around with, but not to have anything deep and meaningful with? I'd like some incite as to why as well?

This is not the friend zone. If anything, it's the friends with benefits zone. Friend zone = Sex isn't happening.

[coolheadal]

A girl I work with you is very pretty, has a fun personality and IMO from a female standpoint has sex appeal but she said she gets friendzoned a lot from men she's interested in. I asked some obvious questions like "you don't burp or fart around them do you?" and she was like no. So I'm wondering why a man would friend zone a hot woman? I always thought that was something that happened to ugly, dorky men.

 

Anyone can get friend-zone it happens to all of us. The women or the men have their own attractions to other they deem more in line to what they want to be with. We all can't be attracted to everyone, it just not going to happen. So we have to pull in our guts and take it like a man or like a woman. Remember the old saying goes "we are not gold coins to be like by everyone"

[elaine567]

But, I have a mass of guy friends.

 

I don't know why these men always find me ok to screw around with, but not to have anything deep and meaningful with? I'd like some incite as to why as well?

 

I guess that may be your problem.

Few men want a gf or a wife or a SO, with a mass of guy friends hanging around her.

[coolheadal]

Oh yes. I don't know what it is either.

 

I think I'm good looking, not hot, but I'm classic girl next door type. I have a good personality and am outgoing and at least I think I'm funny...

 

But, I have a mass of guy friends. Now, I think most of them are pigs... let me explain. I get friend zoned all the time. These "friends" find women who they must enjoy better than they enjoy me. But once they are with these other women they will text me or ask me to have flings with them, saying "what she don't know won't hurt her." I'm not a woman that messes with other womens men, so that is an absolute no for me.

 

I don't know why these men always find me ok to screw around with, but not to have anything deep and meaningful with? I'd like some incite as to why as well?

 

 

Friend-zone

These are not date-able by the person they're with. Goes for both gender.

 

Friend-zone plus

These are just friends but you can kiss and hug and date them without having a meaningful relationship with. I was on such date. I told the woman that she couldn't have it both ways but yet she wanted both. She started to cry on me about it. I am not friends with this person ever again it didn't work out right.

Edited February 26, 2017 by coolheadal

[SevenCity]

I've seen girls who are fat get friend zoned all the time.

 

If this girl is hot it may be the guys she likes are taken or her personality.

 

Guys get friend zoned for a variety of reasons not only because they are a dork. Often it has to do with how they behave around a girl (i.e.: she's too good for him).

 

If a girl is hot most guys will have sex with her at least.

[preraph]

I've had some guy friends. I'm not sure with one what was going on. He was probably too good looking for me, but it's not like I went after him. In fact, his friend who I worked with told me he'd seen me and where he worked and that he'd be thrilled if I went and said hi the next time I was in there (a rival record store). I did, and then he came to work at my record store. Not sure if that was coincidence or what. Anyway, he got real real involved in my "vine" and was overly curious and we went and ate and went out of town for concerts a time or two, but I was in love with someone else (2) the whole time I knew him, so that may have been why he didn't try anything, but I really don't think so.

 

He did act a bit like a gossipy girlfriend and he ended up going after my ex-bf's 2nd wife right under his nose, so that left a bad taste.

 

Anyway, he's a mystery (40 years later, he's asking my ex-bf about me).

I think he was a meddler and can't trust him.

 

But others have been just friends and I think it had to do with who I was. I was very independent, not very soft and feminine, just a street smart rocker chick with ambition and was probably too much for a lot of those guys to attempt to handle as a girlfriend. But I enjoyed my male friends a lot. Only one that got awkward and he was after me and shouldn't have been because he was best friends with an ex-bf. I was friends with the whole band, so I didn't suspect him of trying something until he did. I thought they were tighter than that amongst themselves. Anyway, no regrets. And no, I didn't have sex with any of the "just friends." To me, once you get naked, that is not "just friends." I know some guys would like you to think so, but no.

[d0nnivain]

I didn't understand it at the time but in my 20s I had a lot of guys who would hang around but none asked me out. There were 1-2 I would have liked to date but most I was pretty indifferent toward. They were nice enough to speak to in public but I didn't want anything to do with them romantically. I certainly didn't want to date them. We flirted but it was fairly G rated. Many of them asked out girls in my circle but nobody but a move on me. I just assumed they preferred blondes (all my friends were blonde but I'm a brunette) who were less complicated then I am. I'm pretty high maintenance, not in a bad way but I always wanted good conversation, nights out somewhere other than the local bar (not expensive per se but something more than beer & wings -- wine & KFC on a picnic blanket would have been fine) & more fidelity then most 20 year old guys wanted to give.

 

 

In the last few years, 20+ years later, at various times many of these men confessed to me that they wanted to ask me out but stuck to the friend zone because my demeanor made it clear that I wasn't to be trifled with. They called me the girl you marry, not the one you fool around with. Plus on the rare occasion I would bring a date around, these guys concluded that they weren't "good enough" for me. I don't mean to sound snobby but in the sense that none of them were the type I'd marry because we never had enough in common, especially intellectually, they may have been right. Understand, I worked as a bartender in some blue collar places while I was going to college & grad school. I met a great group of big hearted people but I couldn't talk to most of them because we weren't interested in the same subjects. I do care about these people because they are still in my life. They have all become good buddies with my husband & they tease him about how much they liked me but stayed away when we were younger.

 

 

At the time, I only knew one of them wanted to ask me out. Instead of talking to me, he'd always ask my dad if he had dad's permission to ask me. My dad knew probably better than me that I would never get serious with a guy like him. My dad always told him the same thing: "I (my dad) have no problem with you asking out D0nnivain, but I know my daughter & if you are not in the mood to have your feelings hurt, I wouldn't ask because I doubt she'll say yes. My daughter is a handful. Go there at your own risk." Dad would tell me about these conversations periodically & I always thanked him for preventing me from having to turn the guy down. I was bad at being direct so I probably would have agreed to 1 date out of a sense of obligation & then been really uncomfortable.

 

 

So yes, it's possible that a guy will friendzone a girl but it might not be the reason you think.

[CptInsano]

Some women don't flirt a lot and behave like they are "one of the guys". They are cool to hang out with, work out with or work together. You can be close to them, but it feels like you have a sister. That doesn't mean that they are ugly, by no means. One of those women made a move after I knew her for years, and my first response was: "I thought you were a lesbian." The reason for that was that I never saw her around guys, but I guess she just never flirted.

[leogirl876]

Some women don't flirt a lot and behave like they are "one of the guys". They are cool to hang out with, work out with or work together. You can be close to them, but it feels like you have a sister. That doesn't mean that they are ugly, by no means. One of those women made a move after I knew her for years, and my first response was: "I thought you were a lesbian." The reason for that was that I never saw her around guys, but I guess she just never flirted.

 

I think there's a lot of women who want the man to initiate the flirting so maybe that's why they don't. Some women don't know how to flirt.

[Shanex]

I don't friend zone women per se. But I've been friend zoned enough to remember.

 

There was one I should have made a move with but she was a girl around my circle of friends and to put it simply I chickened a bit. It's never easy to maintain a relationship with the girl who's many guy friends even though she's hot and don't act in lewd manners. That girl was also a serial dater and loved to screw guys over after disposing of them so I didn't want to be one more fool among her trophies.

 

I friend zoned a few ''ugly'' chick's, sure... and also women I wasn't interested in romantically. Other than that I'd always try to make a move with a hotter woman.

[leogirl876]

I don't friend zone women per se. But I've been friend zoned enough to remember.

 

There was one I should have made a move with but she was a girl around my circle of friends and to put it simply I chickened a bit. It's never easy to maintain a relationship with the girl who's many guy friends even though she's hot and don't act in lewd manners. That girl was also a serial dater and loved to screw guys over after disposing of them so I didn't want to be one more fool among her trophies.

 

I friend zoned a few ''ugly'' chick's, sure... and also women I wasn't interested in romantically. Other than that I'd always try to make a move with a hotter woman.

 

If the woman was hot, what would make you not be interested in her romantically?

[JustGettingBy]

Its often the same reason women friendzone men, there's no hint of sexual or romantic chemistry, or even any attempt made.

[Chilli]

Oh hell yeah of course guys friend zone if ya wanna call it that.

l find everything guys and girls goes both way, we're all much the same at the end of the day in a weird sorta way.

 

And it's the same for friend zone ,all the same reasons.

You might like her as a friend but basically she just doesn't do it for ya in any romantic or relationship sense.

Just like women , it can about the person just as much as looks or anything else.

[Redhead14]

A girl I work with you is very pretty, has a fun personality and IMO from a female standpoint has sex appeal but she said she gets friendzoned a lot from men she's interested in. I asked some obvious questions like "you don't burp or fart around them do you?" and she was like no. So I'm wondering why a man would friend zone a hot woman? I always thought that was something that happened to ugly, dorky men.

 

It can happen to anyone. Just because a woman is hot, doesn't mean a man is automatically attracted to everything about her. There is more to a relationship than looks, that's for darn sure. He may like her but not interested in her for having a relationship. Perhaps their personalities/interests/attitudes/lifestyle preferences, conversational skills/intelligence or something else doesn't work for the guy. You don't know how she comes across when she's dating. Maybe she's clingy, needy, desperate, rushes things, dorkey in a dating scenario herself, etc. Who knows?

 

The bottom line is that sometimes people just don't connect to the point of wanting a romantic relationship -- hot or not but they can at least be friends.

[Shanex]

If the woman was hot, what would make you not be interested in her romantically?

 

Her personality maybe? Tbh I'm hardly a dude for whom 'any hole is a goal' yet i admit to have had some flings with women I wasn't much interested in in the long run for merely sexual reasons.

 

If they have both, the perfect body and the perfect mind, at least to me. I'm easily heads over heel. Of course it's difficult to friend zone hotter women, they are usually the one labeling you this way. If you can realise it and somehow agree to be another orbiter.

[DKT3]

Women get friendzoned for two basic reasons. 1) that guy is simply not attracted to you but still thinks you're cool 2) he is intimated by either the attitude or sexuality.

[Miss Peach]

Its often the same reason women friendzone men, there's no hint of sexual or romantic chemistry, or even any attempt made.

 

This has been the reason a lot of my male friends have mentioned with dating women. I know for myself, I'll add that really intense and clingy women send me running when I've dated them. A lot of men I've met seem to feel the same way.

[Chris2016]

I guess I have. Initially was interested in her quirky ways, but dated and never really became romantically interested in her.

[hotpotato]

I get friendzoned.

 

I can be intense, i'm very independent (doesn't make a man's ego feel good), i have social anxiety which can manifest as negativity. I've been friendzoned, but if i do, im not going to be at the persons beck and call if they need company or sex.

 

Some women know how to say and do things men like right off the bat. I get passed over for those women.

 

I'm introverted and not very talkative.

So theres why a girl can get friendzoned.

[Titanll]

Sounds like your friend is just trying to punch above her weight (like we all do) when it comes to men. Tell her to stay in her "weight class" and she will never be friendzoned again...

[TheTraveler]

If the woman was hot, what would make you not be interested in her romantically?

 

I'm having this problem lately. It's their personality and some of the women just aren't very smart and it turns me off