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I can't get along with his family, and ideas?


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I moved in with my partner of 3 years last January into his parents house. His dad was a FIFO worker and was only home for one week every three weeks. Most of the time it was my partner, his mother and older sister.

We have been together since we were 15 and wanted to try living together. For the most part I got along well his family to begin with and even had a great relationship with his mother and sister.

During my birthday in October it was clear I was not to have a family gathering at our house due to his dad wanting to watch the football grand final, so I had my birthday at my mums house. Both his dad and sister didn't say happy birthday to me until I was leaving for dinner that night.

His sister and I got into a conflict (due to me and my partner paying for everything and her not contributing) and she had stopped speaking to me.

My living situation was becoming uncomfortable so I took it upon myself to move into my own house with my partner.

His sister was continuously rude to me (she would come into my house without even saying hello/goodbye or thanking me for dinner. Even on Christmas she didn't thank me for the present I gave her and gave me nothing in return)

 

Long story short - me and his sister got into an argument over text resulting in her saying that she does not like me. Her mother got involved and told my partner to choose between me or his family. I am finding it quite difficult to have a good relationship with my partner when his family do not like me.

His sister has even been telling people that she is waiting for us to break up. It's clear that I'm not wanted by them.

 

Any ideas how I can make this work??

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I'm glad you moved out from his family's house. Moving in that way was a bad idea.

 

 

Having an argument with anybody over text is also a bad idea. Text is not for emotions, ever.

 

 

Some people are just rude. When I don't understand my husband's family I try to remember that their way of doing things isn't wrong it's just different then mine.

 

 

Where is your BF in all of this? Is he sticking up for you? He has to be the architect of any peace deal between you & his family. If he's not firmly on your side, you have no hope.

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Well his mother got involved in the argument I had with his sister and she too has decided to ignore me. She won't acknowledge me at all.

 

My boyfriend won't stick up for me at all. He seems to defend his family most of the time when I tell him they're treating me wrong

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Look, I'm not going to tell you how to make it work. I'm going to tell you that his mother just set up the perfect litmus test to find out if your man is a man or a mama's boy. If he chooses them, he isn't really a man yet who is capable of placing a wife and family of his own first. That's the simple truth. He has to reach the stage where he will put his wife first, or he is still too much of a boy.

 

So in a way, she has done you a favor, because you didn't have to make him choose, so he won't resent YOU for it. She is making him choose, so either way, he and his mommy both lose because he will resent her for it either way.

 

So does he stay or does he go? If he goes, you just saved yourself more time wasted being with him. If he stays, great. problem solved.

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If your BF isn't sticking up for you that is a problem. When I had problems with some of my husband's relatives both he & his parents stuck up for me. When the aunts realized that they were the big losers in this situation, they came around.

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