why did you choose your partner?

[darkmoon]

was it love at first sight?

 

why them?

[Jj66]

Nope. Was not love at first sight. She was beautiful, sexy, intelligent, successful, etc. And frankly a little bit intimidating. She didn't need me one bit. I almost chose someone else who was more obvioisly available but decided I couldn't. I wasn't going to be scared away. I had previously avoided going for the creme de la creme before because I thought I was unworthy. I decided never again and went for it.

[Cookiesandough]

Sorry. I went off on a little tangent unrelated to topic of thread. I'm currently single, but my last partner I chose because I felt we had a lot in common and he seemed like a good guy. My best relationship I chose him initially because he was charming but his sweetest won me over. No 'love'at first sight, but attraction.

Edited February 22, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[5x5]

It wasn't love at first sight and in the first instance she chose me, all I did was say yes.

 

As to why, she is pretty, taller, intelligent, capable, accomplished, practical, well read, sexy, highly sexual, kinky, up for anything, INTJ, an atheist and I like talking to her.

 

Close to 21 years later we're still together, having been married for almost 18 years.

[d0nnivain]

Saw DH across a room. Thought he was drop dead gorgeous. He kind of looks like Pierce Bronson.

 

 

As I got to know him I realized what an intelligent, witty, reliable, hard working solid guy he was. So much more than just a pretty face.

[dichotomy]

Initial interest - completely different than the women I had just been married to for 13 years. I was ready for different.

 

 

Decide to allow myself to love her when she shared a deeply moving personal experience that led me to believe she had the right commitment and compassion.

 

Unfortunately a lot of bad came out later to offset this good - but it made perfect sense at the time.

[central]

No, not love at first sight. But when we met after a few emails and a phone call, it was awkward at first, but as the date went on, we got increasingly connected and attracted as that awkwardness wore off.

 

The second date did it for sure - extraordinary connection, and extraordinary sex. Besides, she was warmer, kinder, smarter, sexier, prettier, and younger than my ex.

 

But the real basis for the relationship lasting was high compatibility in just about everything major and minor. Over time, this just keeps getting better, too.

[Haydn]

Love at first sight. (Well for her obviously;) (Joke)

 

We never chose each other.

 

We both kept making excuses to meet.

 

She texted me

 

`Are you going to be anywhere near the Lamb and Flag pub? In about 15 minutes`

 

Me..

 

`I`m already here`

[JamesM]

I would say that it was "attraction at first sight" for me. We didn't actually date for another five months. I saw her two or three times during that five months, and felt this "something" when I saw her. However, when I saw her the last time right before we went out, I was smitten very hard.

 

I chose her because of her beautifully expressive blue eyes and smile and incredibly wonderful personality. In time, I became her closest confidant and still am.

 

This happened almost thirty years ago.

 

While life has been far from a fairy tale at times, I think at this point we both would say we would still choose each other again. And yes, I know she would say that as quite recently she did.

[Gaeta]

No love at first sight. I was not even sure I was attracted to him until 3 dates in. I decided to give it a chance because there was something deeply genuine emanating from him. He was a gentleman, intelligent, funny, kind, protective and selfless.

[Michelle ma Belle]

I'm not sure I believe in 'love at first sight' for me personally but rather 'love at first communication'.

 

A handsome face is a handsome face but can he carry a conversation? I'm profoundly attracted to men who are comfortable talking and sharing, someone who is just as curious about me as I am about him and knowing when to listen as much as talk is equally as thrilling. And if he has a sense of humor, I'm hooked line and sinker.

 

Yes, physical attraction is indeed important and does play a big part but finding someone who can carry a conversation and who has depth and substance has very often been the game changer in all my relationships. Good looks and nothing more will inevitably bore me to tears.

[wmacbride]

I honestly don't remember how I felt when I first met my H. We were both in university, and I was out with a friend at a bar. Some weird guy was hitting on me, and my now-h, who recognized me from one of our shared classes, saw I was in an uncomfortable situation and asked me to dance so I'd have an excuse to get up.

 

We ended up driving my friend back to residence, and we went to tim hortons for coffee and spent he rest of the night and the next morning talking.

 

It may sound nutty, but we actually talked about getting married to each other. We did a year after that, and almost 20 years later, we are still together.

[Whoknew30]

No love at first sight but I was also 15 & kind of wild. We were friends & he asked me on our first date when I was 17, I stood him up...month later I saw him with another girl & it made me mad, so told him I was sorry & we went on our first date the next day.

 

The second date is when I knew, we were going to a gala & I had to dress up...when he walked in, by the way he looked at me, I just knew, we loved each other. We have been together ever since, not easy being so young but when you know, you know.

[Purepony]

I'm noticing all the long marriages met young...?

[Gaeta]

I'm noticing all the long marriages met young...?

There is no correlation between the 2. Many couples that married young divorce when they reach their 40s. Including myself.

[Weezy1973]

There is no correlation between the 2. Many couples that married young divorce when they reach their 40s. Including myself.

 

Very in true. In fact while the divorce rate in general is ~50%, for people that get married before they're 25 that jumps to 75%!!

[Weezy1973]

And for me, also not love at first sight. We were both OLD and multi-dating, and we had a fairly good first meet and both wanted to see each other again. And both were still dating others. It took about three dates to stop wanting to see other people and we've been exclusive ever since.

 

She is a great combination of feminine and soft, but also very logical and rational. So easy to have good discussions with. She's also been through therapy to deal with a lot of her issues and has really taken it to heart. She now takes ownership of her actions and questions her own thoughts when they're not healthy. This is very impressive and extremely attractive to me.

 

Women that follow their emotions blindly are a disaster in relationships!

[preraph]

Saw DH across a room. Thought he was drop dead gorgeous. He kind of looks like Pierce Bronson.

 

 

As I got to know him I realized what an intelligent, witty, reliable, hard working solid guy he was. So much more than just a pretty face.

 

Ooooh, you like that same look I do! I dated a younger guy who looked like Pierce Brosnan, but I knew all along he was gay. It was too good to be true. haha.

[JamesM]

I'm noticing all the long marriages met young...?

 

Depends on what you call young.

 

At the time, I thought we were getting on in years. 26 IS old isn't it? Now I think we were young and so naive.

[wmacbride]

I'm noticing all the long marriages met young...?

 

We were both 23 when we met. I'd gone back to school to get my second degree and he'd switched his major and needed to do some extra courses.

[Shanex]

Does 'partner' include FWB? If so, she chose me on some dating site, wrote to me first, suggested a date the very same day and the next day we were already getting naughty in her bedroom.

 

Some people are fast. We've been together for 5 months.

[5x5]

I'm noticing all the long marriages met young...?

 

I've been married twice and my first marriage where we married young (I was 19 while she was 18 and pregnant) was a train wreck that lasted almost a year when we separated.

 

Whereas my current (2nd) marriage has lasted close to 18 years (I was close to 28 while she was close to 29).

 

When I met my ex-wife she was 16 and I was 17, while my now wife was almost 26 and I was almost 25.

[5x5]

As to this mutual love/lust at first sight thing.

 

My ex-wife was one of those, she thought I was beautiful when she first saw me at a party and I thought the same thing. Yet she was the one that asked a friend to tell me she wanted to talk to me. And she was the one who quickly asked me to kiss her, with sex following a few hours later.

 

In the other instance I was 21 and divorced, while doing an Army promotion course. When a 26 year old married woman mutually fell for me at first sight. We had already snogged a bit by the time I was told by someone else she was married. After finding out I ended what we had started. Since I thought it was poor form to continue, when my first marriage ended as a consequence of my ex-wife's infidelity.

 

On the other hand my now wife thought I was very attractive when we first met at work, yet she didn't like me in the first instance. While I was neutral on her despite noticing she was very attractive.

 

Then after a few weeks with no interest or pursuit from me (I was dating others), she changed her mind and asked me out on a lunchtime date. Which led to an evening date and sleeping together with some snogging and no sex. She then dumped the guy she was in a sexual relationship with, and then asked me to have sex with her at the end of our third date.

 

At the time when my wife and I started dating each other, we were both just wanting to share some mutual fun for a short period. Yet close to 21 years later we're still at it because it's still fun.

[JamesM]

with some snogging and no sex.

 

Am I the only one who had to google snogging?

 

When I first read it, I thought it was another word for sexual intercourse, but then I read this.

 

Now I like that word. I think I will use it more often.

 

Thanks for your story. As you can tell, I read it. Very interesting.

[xenawarriorprincess]

We were HS Sweethearts. I was awkward, insecure, but kind and cute. He was funny, intelligent, and very different from the other boys in school. He was honest and true to himself and I was immediately drawn to his ability to remain secure and self-assured while the rest of us teenagers were just trying to fit in.