ZayKayWill Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 (edited) I've gotten some great advice and met some awesome people here. I have noticed that a number of people here can be somewhat quick to jump to conclusions though and not as open minded as I would prefer. But hey no one is perfect. Edited February 1, 2017 by ZayKayWill Link to post Share on other sites
Larryville Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 I have noticed that a number of people here can be somewhat quick to jump to conclusions though and not as open minded as I would prefer. While I can’t speak for everyone of course when you get folks who “jump to conclusions” that is past (or more recent) bitterness talking. Depends on what buttons are pushed on the day they happening to be reading. The other thing is the more seasoned posters (look at past posting history) and while some and the moderator may not like that some people who post make the same type of mistakes over and over the very reason why some repost under another name, however the thing is people have specific types of writing styles and you come to recognize those styles and situations. I think overall most of the comments and advice here is sound and sincere and is not meant to hurt anyone. Why I like reading. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 Notice when I joined....does that answer your question? Seriously, I have had so much good advice given to me over the years that I could never totally leave here. Yes, I have taken breaks for a few months due to work or other reasons, but leaving for good? Nope. When I want some feedback or answers, I come back here. I have been on many forums over the past twelve years, and this is the only one to which I return. Yes, I have been given advice that is not applicable, but I let it slide by now. When I first joined, it would bother me. Now I look at the history behind the poster and realize that his/her experiences determine his/her feedback. A young guy who is dating will certainly have a different perspective about sex when compared to an old married guy who needs Viagra. It helps to know which one is talking to me. I have made many friends here, and just wanting to know what is happening with them brings me back. So, I guess you could call it a home, or maybe a refuge. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 Welcome to online forums where anonymity creates courageous lions of all of us. To answer your question, yes, I feel like this is a place where I can escape both to seek advice (although I don't often post questions myself) and to give advise based on my personal experiences both good and bad. I think forums are wonderful in that we can learn a lot from one another even if it's only to remind us of what we don't want and who we don't want to become. It's also been a great place to make some 'friends'. Who doesn't enjoy that? As for people jumping to conclusions, I think that's par for the course when you're dealing with online. By nature of the medium, it's impossible for anyone to gain a perfect 360 of anyone's personal situation. Although I will agree that some members will respond based on their own past experience that's been triggered in some powerful way and sometimes at the expense of the OP, many more simply choose to shoot straight from the hip which can often be misconstrued as judgement. I know I can come across that way sometimes :/ I mean, what kind of help would you get if everyone told you only what you wanted to hear? My guess would be none. Anyway, VIVA LS!!! : 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 I just bought some really nice curtains. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 I've gotten some great advice and met some awesome people here. I have noticed that a number of people here can be somewhat quick to jump to conclusions though and not as open minded as I would prefer. But hey no one is perfect. OP, would you say that your assertion reflects similar experiences in the physical world, or not? People jumping to conclusions or being close minded? I tend to see LS as having and living in a more diverse neighborhood. Culture, race, education, religion, politics, life experience. That diversity kept me coming back and is a large part of why I and the other five folks who keep the site going every day show up. Underscoring that, back in the early days of living in the neighborhood, my exW opined LS was 'stupid'. She didn't share in that value, or any value, of what goes on here. Fair enough. I trust plenty of people agree with her. Big world, lots of people. Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 yes...I love it here. I have helped myself, and many friends with what I have learned here. I have also been made aware of all the ins and outs of relationships out there. This is a great place. Sure the truth hurts, but it hurts more to stay naive. Link to post Share on other sites
Lilyana76 Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 I love it here. Everyone has been brutally honest, helpful, and encouraging. I've never taken anything said to me as rude or cruel. Just honest, and what I NEEDED to hear at the time. Popsicle, what color are the curtains? Where did you get them? Were they on discount? Did you get them for just one window or all the windows in one room? Do they match the carpet? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 I just bought some really nice curtains. Feel free to decorate my room too. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
umirano Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 People jump to conclusions in real life too. Often you'd think the certainty of a professed viewpoint should be measured more in accordance with the accuracy and completeness of an account given of a situation. We'd all be better off if that were the case. Political discussions would be more reasonable, on and off line, an overall healthier society should be possible. I see LS as an extension of the circles I talk to otherwise, about relationships or life in general. It's not better qualitatively per se, but talking to more people automatically increases the amount of experience that flows into a given response to a situation. My mom just bought new curtains. She's exhilarated. Link to post Share on other sites
Larryville Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 in accordance with the accuracy and completeness of an account given of a situation. We'd all be better off if that were the case. ^ That is a very important point. Countless times someone posts, folks get on to respond then the OP either “defends” the target of the thread or adds important details to the original thread and then accuses the respondents of “jumping to conclusions” Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 Feel free to decorate my room too. It would be my pleasure. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jj66 Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 I prefer the phrase making assumptions based on life experiences to the phrase jumping to conclusions. Only a few of us are always right 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZayKayWill Posted February 1, 2017 Author Share Posted February 1, 2017 OP, would you say that your assertion reflects similar experiences in the physical world, or not? People jumping to conclusions or being close minded? I tend to see LS as having and living in a more diverse neighborhood. Culture, race, education, religion, politics, life experience. That diversity kept me coming back and is a large part of why I and the other five folks who keep the site going every day show up. Underscoring that, back in the early days of living in the neighborhood, my exW opined LS was 'stupid'. She didn't share in that value, or any value, of what goes on here. Fair enough. I trust plenty of people agree with her. Big world, lots of people. Yes however I feel that when it comes to online forums people tend to be more quick to look down on people and "let them have it". I feel that if it were their friends asking the 'stupid or obvious question' they wouldn't be as harsh. That's all I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 OP, if you're talking about anonymous interaction venues like LS, that's because typing on a page has no consequences. Type, hit send, close out and go on with your life and the results don't matter because they don't impact the person in any measurable way in real life. The way I see it is places like LS enable people to be who they really are. If they're 'let 'em have it', that's who they are. If they're 'I empathize and you'll get through this', that's who they are. You'll encounter a wide range of people in real life too, but there are more of them more easily available in our information age online world that connects the entire planet. You'll find people tend to congregate in communities which they feel are a fit to them, even if not always like-minded because, well, no two people think and feel exactly alike and we all have different styles of expressing ourselves. IMO, I guess it boils down to how you like your personal home. Some people like peace and quiet. Others mild distraction. Others marked conflict. Others mortal combat. On the internet, there's pretty much a place for everyone. What do you think? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZayKayWill Posted February 1, 2017 Author Share Posted February 1, 2017 I guess. I just don't think I'll ever understand how people get off on making people feel less than them, unless I just truly didn't like that person. Just not who I am. Even if it was an anonymous message board where there are 'no consequences' in my mind there are still some consequences because people don't forget how you make then feel. If you're an ass, people will remember that. If you're nice, people will remember that. People will tell you I'm one of the nicest people you'll ever meet....unless I'm drunk... <_< Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 We are all here for a reason and jaded because of our own circumstances. It is good to come here to get different views Link to post Share on other sites
JustGettingBy Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 People jumping to conclusions will be a thing no matter where you go, online or not. Link to post Share on other sites
anduina Posted February 2, 2017 Share Posted February 2, 2017 Not really, having come and gone for short spurts over the last almost two years. Wow, the length of time is surprising. To be sure, it's an interesting place but it's neither addicting or comforting. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZayKayWill Posted February 2, 2017 Author Share Posted February 2, 2017 Not really, having come and gone for short spurts over the last almost two years. Wow, the length of time is surprising. To be sure, it's an interesting place but it's neither addicting or comforting. Guess that's kinda sorta how I feel Link to post Share on other sites
ARoseIsARose Posted February 2, 2017 Share Posted February 2, 2017 Classic lurker here...........I've been with LS for several years, under one name and then this one. I visit pretty much every day, so I guess you could say I look through the windows of that second home. Your question prompted me to post because I appreciate so much everyone that takes the time to evaluate the situations shared here and contributes an opinion. I find the opinions here resemble those in everyday life, and as you mentioned, some will be condescending, but most are based on prior experiences, some are full of wisdom (I miss Owl), others full of emotion. LS helped me to see my situation from all perspectives and I think I'm a better person for it. I can't say it is addictive, and I'm not so sure you would want it to be comforting, but it can be enlightening. This is where people can tell someone what the people in their life are thinking but are not in the position to tell them. And many of us benefit from it too. Rose 1 Link to post Share on other sites
cocorico Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 a number of people here can be somewhat quick to jump to conclusions though and not as open minded as I would prefer. True enough, but I put that down to the heavy US vs international membership. Members from outside the US, in general, seem more open minded than the average US member, though I presume that's not visible to US members as they assume their views are universal. And es, having grown up in a dysfunctional family, this does feel very much like "home" Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 True enough, but I put that down to the heavy US vs international membership. Members from outside the US, in general, seem more open minded than the average US member, though I presume that's not visible to US members as they assume their views are universal. And es, having grown up in a dysfunctional family, this does feel very much like "home" If my ideas were wrong, then I would be more open minded too. j/k 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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