Popsicle Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 So I listen to this relationship therapist call-in show on the radio and she said she often has women callers asking her "How do I know he loves me?" She had this to say to all the women who ask: How You Know He Loves You. • You don’t necessarily know it by somebody saying “I love you”. People can say all sorts of things but when people take the effort to put that into action, then you know they love you. • He makes an effort to turn your bad day into a good one. Reminding you about good stuff. Bringing sweetness into your life somehow. • He remembers the little things you say and do. He brings them up. Shows he’s listening. • He does sweet little nothings. • He puts your first. Puts you in front of his guy friends. • He asks you questions to know more about you. • He loves to hold your hand. • He really enjoys taking care of you, making sure you’re okay. • He offers you a helping hand when you need one. • He remembers the special occasions. • He just likes to be close. Watch a movie cuddling together. • He makes an effort to meet your friends and family and to like them. • He talks about his dreams for the future, sort of hinting about “our” dreams for the future. • He makes time for you. • Your opinion matters to him. • He can’t stay mad at you long even when you’re a pain in the butt. • He apologizes when it’s appropriate, not just to kiss your butt, but when it’s appropriate. • He’s very protective of you. Not neurotically. • He touches you in subtle loving ways. • Maybe even gets a little giddy when he’s around you. • He says nice things about you to his friends and family. These are the behaviors of a man who loves you. Your thoughts? 7 Link to post Share on other sites
strawberryshortstack Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 So I listen to this relationship therapist call-in show on the radio and she said she often has women callers asking her "How do I know he loves me?" She had this to say to all the women who ask: Your thoughts? I can't speak from a man's point of view, but I can say that my boyfriend does all of this, including telling me he loves me, and I have never felt more loved in my life. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 Eh....ain't buying that.... People are different and express themselves differently....Some guys just don't do hearts. flowers and unicorns as well as some others, but it doesn't mean that they are any less "in love"....Heck, some guys just have more on their plate, and may seem more distant, when in reality, they aren't ... Id think true devotion would be measured by someone willing to do just about anything for the other person when in time of duress.... Some of the stuff on that list are used by seasoned players to snooker naive women to give it up...And they fall for it all the time...Its some of the oldest tricks in the book, TFY 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 My boyfriend does all of those things and tells me he loves me. However, it remains to be seen in time, if he really does. I am still skeptical. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 great list but I also think there is some truth in what tfoty says as well. That list could apply to man who is simply infatuated with a woman and I'm not so sure that one can define love by a list. There are all different kinds of love and different kinds of guys. Some men are very vocal about their feelings, some are not. Some are outgoing and at ease in every situation, some are not. Some guys show their love by giving gifts, and compliments, some guys say little but dive in to help when the one they love is in trouble. Obviously guys behaving in ways that are opposite to the items on the list, ie:he never makes time for you or your opinion is never important to him, are serious red flags that shouldn't be ignored but not very many guys are going to be a smashing success at every item on that list. People are flawed and imperfect. They are going to be extraordinary at some things and fail at other things. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted January 24, 2017 Author Share Posted January 24, 2017 I can't speak from a man's point of view, but I can say that my boyfriend does all of this, including telling me he loves me, and I have never felt more loved in my life. That's really beautiful. I was hoping to get some women in this thread confirming that their man does these things to give me some hope! Eh....ain't buying that.... People are different and express themselves differently....Some guys just don't do hearts. flowers and unicorns as well as some others, but it doesn't mean that they are any less "in love"....Heck, some guys just have more on their plate, and may seem more distant, when in reality, they aren't ... Id think true devotion would be measured by someone willing to do just about anything for the other person when in time of duress.... Some of the stuff on that list are used by seasoned players to snooker naive women to give it up...And they fall for it all the time...Its some of the oldest tricks in the book, TFY I know. I was thinking about that too. The 5 Love Languages - how people supposedly express love differently. Like a person who shows love by acts of service would not fit into the above description. Anyway I hope to find a guy who expresses love in the way the therapist describes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted January 24, 2017 Author Share Posted January 24, 2017 great list but I also think there is some truth in what tfoty says as well. That list could apply to man who is simply infatuated with a woman and I'm not so sure that one can define love by a list. There are all different kinds of love and different kinds of guys. Some men are very vocal about their feelings, some are not. Some are outgoing and at ease in every situation, some are not. Some guys show their love by giving gifts, and compliments, some guys say little but dive in to help when the one they love is in trouble. Obviously guys behaving in ways that are opposite to the items on the list, ie:he never makes time for you or your opinion is never important to him, are serious red flags that shouldn't be ignored but not very many guys are going to be a smashing success at every item on that list. People are flawed and imperfect. They are going to be extraordinary at some things and fail at other things. I showed the list to my friend. She said her boyfriend does all those things (it's true, I've seen him) and she loves that, but in the other hand, he drinks too much and is cheap and she hates those things. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 I showed the list to my friend. She said her boyfriend does all those things (it's true, I've seen him) and she loves that, but in the other hand, he drinks too much and is cheap and she hates those things. I think women really sometimes forget about the simple things men do to create the life they want....The main problem is that women are generally far more complex creatures emotionally, than men are. SO they expect so much more... Most men really only want their basic needs met...along with a little recreation...Sadly, ive never been one to be the "basic needs" type...So its much harder...I envy those guys.. Anyway.. Men say/do things that create what they want out of their life with the least amount of aggravation...They are pragmatists.....Do they really mean it. though?? That's the tricky part for a woman.. In the case you mentioned, the guy is probably just doing whatever he needs to do to keep his wife off his back for the negative stuff...If you scratched the surface, that may be all it is.. TFY Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted January 24, 2017 Author Share Posted January 24, 2017 .. In the case you mentioned, the guy is probably just doing whatever he needs to do to keep his wife off his back for the negative stuff...If you scratched the surface, that may be all it is.. TFY They're not married and she doesn't want to be married. He drinks a fifth of gin every day which started before he met her. It drives her insane. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted January 24, 2017 Author Share Posted January 24, 2017 I know you're right TFY in the sense that a lot of men are simple and have simple needs in order to be happy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted January 24, 2017 Author Share Posted January 24, 2017 I hope I get more opinions on this! I am very interested to hear what both men and woman think! Link to post Share on other sites
Osmium13 Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 If you wanna know if he loves you so, it's in his kiss. That's what Cher told me anyway. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Larryville Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 While many of the OP points are indeed true, many people here start threads and mentions these things and at the end have a “but….” Because true love is when someone really sees you, he sees not just everything you are but everything you want to be. When you love someone, really love someone, their happiness is your happiness. So many times I’ve read threads here where a “loving” guy is upset that his partner is invested in her career for example. “She” is not allowed to be everything she wished to be because some dude has his feeling hurt or is not getting the attention he thinks HE should get despite doing many of those things on your list. To many guys “love” with conditions. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Larryville Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 If you wanna know if he loves you so, it's in his kiss. If you want to know if a couple truly loves each other, yes indeed in the kiss. When couples stop kissing, the relationship/marriage is generally doomed. Couples truly into each other kiss, all the time because it exhibits closeness. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 My short version of how you can tell is: He feels protective He wants to help you when possible The last thing he'd ever want to do is make you wonder and fret or hurt you. This means he's open with you and not intentionally withholding info just to make your squirm. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
cocorico Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 • He remembers the special occasions. He makes every occasion special. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lilyana76 Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 I don't know, some of the things mentioned in the list are things guys will do if they want in your pants quick too. I think you find out if someone really loves you if they stick it out through something rough, or are there for you when you need a rock to lean on. When love is tested, thats when you find out if its really love. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
hippychick3 Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 I think this list is accurate so long as the man does it consistently after a long length of time....after the infatuation stage has ended. My bf does all of those things on the list 3 1/2 years later. He isn't perfect by any means, but I feel very loved. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 I showed the list to my friend. She said her boyfriend does all those things (it's true, I've seen him) and she loves that, but in the other hand, he drinks too much and is cheap and she hates those things. Well this list is about whether a man loves a woman or not... not whether he is without flaws, even really bad ones. But I agree no list will ever be perfect. Although this one is about as close as you'll realistically get. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetfish Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 You know what this list proves... That many women want to be with a man who indirectly shows he loves her.. like she has to be on the edge of her seat. That now these women are making list to ensure the men love them. Hilarious. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted January 25, 2017 Author Share Posted January 25, 2017 You know what this list proves... That many women want to be with a man who indirectly shows he loves her.. like she has to be on the edge of her seat. That now these women are making list to ensure the men love them. Hilarious. I see the negativity has arrived... It doesn't make a woman feel "on the edge of her seat", it makes her feel loved. It's more heartwarming, than Christian Gray. And nobody's sitting around with a checklist. Link to post Share on other sites
Jj66 Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 (edited) How does she know that I love her? It probably isn't because I tell her a lot and use heart emojis on whatsapp..Some comments she has made that might shed insight into her thinking. You are so good to me.You are so good for me.You were busy working and when I mentioned what the squirrel was doing you got up to take look. You wanted to share my joy. I know you didn't really give a damn about the squirrel but you knew it was important to me.You were so nice talking to my son this weekend. You drank bud light with my dad. You hate bud light. You were tolerant of my mom's interference. You were so patient and understanding of my need (to be by myself) yesterday. My friend X told me that you would do whatever it takes. He said you are obviously head over heels for me. You are so romantic.All my friends are envious. They want to know if you have a brother. I thought I had had some good relationships before but I had no clue how good things could be until now .You are such an attentive lover. You know just how to touch me to make me melt in your arms..you actually listen to me.and sometimes you dont listen to me. You always seem to know what's best for me in spite of what I say. That time you came to the airport with flowers and a sign when I told you please respect my wishes and.not to come to the airport. you let me vent when I am frustrated you don't mind that I am tall and loud you want what's best for me even if it isn't the most convenient thing for you. you call me on my **** but you are never mean about ityou dont call me on my **** in front of others. You would never embarrass me. I like that you are proud of me. you treat me better than any man ever has. Edited January 25, 2017 by Jj66 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetfish Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 I see the negativity has arrived... It doesn't make a woman feel "on the edge of her seat", it makes her feel loved. It's more heartwarming, than Christian Gray. And nobody's sitting around with a checklist. Not negativity... i don't think you understood the nature of what i said. Im not critizing the list... what im referring to is the idea that sooo many people are trying to looking for "indirect love" or "bad boys" and its getting so bad, women are creating list to see if the person they are with loves them.. I mean seriously... some of the things i read were... standard practice. I mean really is it that hard? To me this is a bad boys love list point blank. For those who are on the edge of the seat love and needs clues to know if he still loves her.. Im just amused. Link to post Share on other sites
Jj66 Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 Not negativity... i don't think you understood the nature of what i said. Im not critizing the list... what im referring to is the idea that sooo many people are trying to looking for "indirect love" or "bad boys" and its getting so bad, women are creating list to see if the person they are with loves them.. I mean seriously... some of the things i read were... standard practice. I mean really is it that hard? To me this is a bad boys love list point blank. For those who are on the edge of the seat love and needs clues to know if he still loves her.. Im just amused. Yes, some of those things can be used to trick women into thinking you care. Isn't that the whole definition of player? A guy who tricks women into thinking he cares in order to obtain sex. If a guy is doing these things right out of the starting blocks he's definitely playing. But here I think we are talking about things developing over a period of several months. A player would have moved on to the next conquests already. I know I rarely lasted more than 2 months when I was leaving my trail of tears. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted January 25, 2017 Author Share Posted January 25, 2017 Not negativity... i don't think you understood the nature of what i said. Im not critizing the list... what im referring to is the idea that sooo many people are trying to looking for "indirect love" or "bad boys" and its getting so bad, women are creating list to see if the person they are with loves them.. I mean seriously... some of the things i read were... standard practice. I mean really is it that hard? To me this is a bad boys love list point blank. For those who are on the edge of the seat love and needs clues to know if he still loves her.. Im just amused. Jeez, you sound super inexperienced or unlucky with women. So you think this list translates to bad boy? Interesting. I guess a nice guy would do all the opposite of these things? How typical of someone who can't or doesn't do them to say that. You're not going to sell that to any women but keep on saying that to yourself... Link to post Share on other sites
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