lovehunch Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 I've been in many relationships where physical attraction was the main factor why we got together, only for me to later realise that the relationship wasn't going to work because we were not compatible enough. Since I have started to place less importance on physical traits, and more on personality, I have found that I have much more fulfilling relationships. I am I the only one that feels like this? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 I would say this is the case for any emotionally mature person. Personality is very important in long term relationships, but physical attraction also has to be there for me. Link to post Share on other sites
ZayKayWill Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 I would say this is the case for any emotionally mature person. Personality is very important in long term relationships, but physical attraction also has to be there for me. Same with me. I actually have very high standards. My last ex was (IMO) a 10/10 so it's hard for me to settle for anything less. Personality comes first, though. My ex was a 5/10 in personality so chances of us dating again are very slim. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 Physical attraction draws you to a person but their personality is what keeps you with them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jj66 Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 Last I checked you can't motorboat a personality. ;-) Attraction is essential but it takes much more. It won't last without good intercourse, in both senses of the word: good sex and good conversation. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Physical attraction draws you to a person but their personality is what keeps you with them. Yep, looks only get your foot into the door... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jj66 Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 The problem is most females are just attracted to a few percent of the males There is a grain of truth to that but not exactly. What I believe from observing groups of people is that women are attracted to the best available to them in the group whereas men are attracted to anyone in the group who is "hot enough" for them. Men are far less selective than women. Say you have a group with 10 men and 10 women. It could be that all 10 women are attracted to just 2 or 3 of the guys and each one sets her sights on one of the men in in particular. She might say that the others are attractive if asked about it but it's the one she set her eyes on that makes her wet. Whereas, it's likely every guy in the room is attracted to 5 or 6 of the women. Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 There is a grain of truth to that but not exactly. What I believe from observing groups of people is that women are attracted to the best available to them in the group whereas men are attracted to anyone in the group who is "hot enough" for them. Men are far less selective than women. Say you have a group with 10 men and 10 women. It could be that all 10 women are attracted to just 2 or 3 of the guys and each one sets her sights on one of the men in in particular. She might say that the others are attractive if asked about it but it's the one she set her eyes on that makes her wet. Whereas, it's likely every guy in the room is attracted to 5 or 6 of the women. I beg to differ... I believe women are more forgiving of looks and personality and/or what that guy can do for them is what really brings them in. And, guys are more about looks - to the point where they forgive a lot of a woman's lack of personality, ambitions, goals, etc - as long as she's "hot". I grew up hearing one song where the guy goes 'we fall in love with our eyes', and the women go 'and we with our ears'. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Jj66 Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 (edited) I beg to differ... I believe women are more forgiving of looks and personality and/or what that guy can do for them is what really brings them in. And, guys are more about looks - to the point where they forgive a lot of a woman's lack of personality, ambitions, goals, etc - as long as she's "hot". I grew up hearing one song where the guy goes 'we fall in love with our eyes', and the women go 'and we with our ears'. Hmm. You missed an essential point. I think we actually might agree with each other. I did not say women went for the best looking. I said best available. This is a combination of things and the weighting of the characteristics varies from one woman to the next. Its not about looks. It's abou confidence, charisma, intangible leadership qualities, musical abilities, athleticism etc. For the men I mentioned "hot enough" which essentially admits men are superficial and value looks too highly. A woman wants the best man she can get. A man wants any woman who looks good enough to crank his tractor, so to speak. For men, attraction isn't ALL about looks but it's a very huge component. It takes much more than looks to really attract a woman and keep her attracted. Edited January 17, 2017 by Jj66 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovehunch Posted January 17, 2017 Author Share Posted January 17, 2017 I get what most of you are saying. Attraction is still a factor for me. However it's importance to me is really low now in comparison to personality and outlook in life. Even when it comes to bedroom business, it's a lot better when you truly connect with someone. So in that sense personality still is a factor even in this situation. Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Sure it's a foot in the door. Why anyone thinks that looks could trump personality is beyond me. I can't fall in love with someone's looks, but I sure as hell can fall in love with their brain. I can't be continually stimulated by someones looks, but by their personality and chrisma? You bet. Looks tell you nothing about their soul, about compatability, intelligence, hopes, dreams and drive. It's kinda like wrapping on a box. You might be drawn to the fanciest package, but then discover that it is little more than an empty box. Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 Physical attractiveness gets boring very quickly. Personality is something you can live with , flaws included. Those who chase just the physical part , always find flaws and can't overlook them. That's why they need more than one woman or man ! Physical beauty goes down with age and you can't keep it up forever. Personality, you can work and improve Link to post Share on other sites
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