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Give experiences of when you ghosted someone and why?


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We see a lot of threads about people being ghosted and none from the ghosters. Let's gain some context.

 

My major incident was with a fwb. When we first started having sex we agreed mutually we didn't want a relationship. To reiterate this she started pulling away after the first time because she thought I would try to tie her down. It was solely because I wasn't agressive so she thought I was a simp. As I assured her it wasn't like that we started humping like Jack rabbits.

 

As the year goes by she's starts falling deeply in love and starts pressuring for a relationship. The problem is I picked up on how much of a promiscuous girl she was prior and there is nothing more a turn off for me. So there was no way I could ever make her my GF even though admittedly we were acting like it.

 

One weekend I was studying so I ignored my phone. On Sunday night I see many texts emotionally saying we should just be friends and she left a voice mail crying that I didn't listen to really. I know it was just her wanting me to show I gave a **** but I didn't so I didn't contact her ever after that.

 

Other than that the only other time I went ghost was with a girl who I vibed with but she was very conservative and I was just looking for fun so we didn't contact each other afyer a date.

 

Who else got stories?

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CaliforniaGirl

The only times I ever "ghosted" anyone (it wasn't a term then...this is a very old M.O....it's nothing new...I started dating in the 80s) was when I was VERY, VERY young and very afraid of making the guy angry if I flat-out said "I'm not interested in you."

 

TBH, I had done that and once or twice the guy had indeed gotten very angry...one shouted and called me a name...I was frightened (I was so young). The other got miffed, barked disgusting laughter in my face and screamed with other people listening, "Don't flatter myself! I was NOT asking you out!" (immediately after having, well, asked me out), humiliating me and making me burst into tears.

 

After that I was so frightened that I know I just "went dead" with one or two guys I wasn't interested in, by just not answering the phone.

 

As I grew up a little - past my very very early 20s - I don't think I ever just literally disappeared without saying something.

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I was the queen of ghosting, simply because I hated confrontation.

One guy I dated for about a month and he creeped me out so bad I decided to cut him loose but I've noticed my ultimate pattern was to let a few "normal conversations" overlap after i've made my decision so they had no idea it was coming.

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I ghost men if I have a feeling they will act negatively. And sometimes you just barely know somebody so it's awkward to say " Im sure I never want to see you again" if they didn't do anything crazy. After some men got mean and angry when I honestly said I wont be seeing them I started fading out on others

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Michelle ma Belle

While I've ghosted plenty of men while at the very beginning stages of getting to know them from some OLD site I was on, I can't say I've ever done it whilst in any kind of real life relationship.

 

It's one thing to disappear on someone you haven't even met in person yet and another when you've been dating and even sleeping with. I can't do that. I like closure in my relationships however long or short they may be and am willing to bite the bullet face to face, even if it's just to tell them I'm not feeling a connection.

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I once ghosted someone (that I had agreed to a second date with) by just blocking him so I wouldn't get his texts and wouldn't feel bad. Well, I blocked his number on my phone, but not on my iPad. I looked at my iPad about a week later and since he also had an iPhone all of these messages popped up on it wondering if I was still coming, etc. I felt terrible about it and would never do it again. (Also I guess I didn't ghost him because once I saw these messages I felt so bad that I explained my disappearance and apologized)

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I hate being ghosted so I avoid doing it at all cost. The last time I "ghosted" someone was a guy I dated for about a month. He stuck around and when I realized he obviously was sticking around hoping I would change my mind, I straight up tomd him I noticed he was still into me and told him again I had no interest in dating him.

 

He freaked out. I ghosted him.

 

The last time I ghosted a guy for real I was 21. Why? Because I was young stupid and immture

lol

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Most of the guys I've ghosted in the past were pretty much because I just lost interest in them (e.g. No attraction after meeting in person, texting was too boring, sex was terrible, etc.)

 

There was this guy from last year, though. Incredibly hot, super nice, laid-back, smart, funny. Second date included a heavy make-out session at his place (no sex, though, which I told him from the get-go of that night, so he knew from the start). It started getting late and he asked me to spend the night. Sure. He was a great kisser and fun to roll around on the bed with even sans sex. I told him, though, that I had to get up at 4 am to leave for work. (Note: this would involve him doing nothing. I'd just wake up at that time and go. Didn't need a ride from him or him to walk me anywhere.) We continued to hang out for a couple more hours - kissing, napping, talking. At 11 pm he asked if I wouldn't mind spending the night on a night I didn't have to wake up so early. I smiled sweetly, told him I understood, gave him a hug and kiss, told him I would see him soon then, and the second I walked out his front door, I blocked him on my phone. How are you going to keep me at your place until late under the impression I'm spending the night and then boot me out?

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If i go on a date and dont like them. i vanish. i never reply to requests for a second

 

Yeah if I have a date and it doesn't go well I don't message.

If they do reply suggesting a date though I will tell them thanks but no thanks.

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I usually ghost if there's major red flags of like possible abusive/possessive behavior. I had one guy tell me I was going to be HIS on like the second date. Yeah, bye.

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I just did it.

 

Went on a first date tonight. he was way too forward. Kissed me on the lips and cosied up to me and kept stroking my hair and my hand.

 

Said a few things that I though were rude.

 

We were matched on online dating. Thank god I never gave him my number. He wanted to see me again. I just unmatched him and he has no way of getting in contact with me.

 

But when I am in an actual relationship and they have a way of contacting me. No I dont think I could just vanish and be hard enough to ignore them. I've only ever ghosted after a date or two and nothing has happened.

Edited by ElizabethIII
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I have ghosted many guys. Even if I have slept with them. Usually only the one time... I just hate confrontation and if it doesn't feel like a "proper" relationship, then I just fade.

 

Note that relationship doesn't mean anything official. but some people you feel obliged to respond and give satisfaction to, and others you do not.

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Never ghosted a relationship. That's just cruel and inhumane. I have ghosted after a date or two by not responding to texts. If they then send me a text asking why, I do my best to answer.

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The only times I have ghosted - when one guy came on too strong on the first date. We had hardly texted before the date so I didn't feel it is needed for me to give him an explanation. I just ignored his text after the date. Couple of months later he asked me on the online dating app why I didn't go out with him again and I gave him the correct reason and he was like, yeah I was guessing that was it.

Another guy didn't text me for few days after the first date. When he eventually texted me, it was a - hey whats up? which I ignored.

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I was very young....as in high school!

 

This was my first teenage RL so needless to say, was very inexperienced in every sense of the word. We'd all hung around in a group all summer and had about two dates before I was sent abroad to school and became besotted with a new love interest, so basically let contact with G1 fizzle out. Never even occurred to me he'd even care, I was that clueless. A few years later we got back together for a brief spell as n a few weeks, when he ended it! Not too invested, so no problem.

 

This is the nearest I've ever come in my life to ghosting per se but wouldn't dream of doing so in a relationship as it's something I now really abhor!

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I don't think i've ever ghosted.

I always let women know i was no longer interested and why if they ask.

 

they never seem to take the why part well but, hey, if you don't want to hear the answer, don't ask the question.

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Lifeissomething

Never ghosted. Unless it's for fears of the person becoming aggressive, it's pretty unacceptable to me. If you're over 20 and ghosting, you need to need to give yourself a mental shake--you have the maturity of a child.

 

Dislike confrontation or not--a polite 'I'm sorry but not interested. Take Care.' takes 5 seconds to send. Then you can block, disappear, whatever afterwards. Seriously to the people posting about your ghosting in this thread: you suck.

 

But on another note, I enjoyed reading some of your stories, so I guess I suck in some way as well. lol

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I was the queen of ghosting, simply because I hated confrontation.

One guy I dated for about a month and he creeped me out so bad I decided to cut him loose but I've noticed my ultimate pattern was to let a few "normal conversations" overlap after i've made my decision so they had no idea it was coming.

 

As a guy, I am curious to know how the guy creeped you out?

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Most of the guys I've ghosted in the past were pretty much because I just lost interest in them (e.g. No attraction after meeting in person, texting was too boring, sex was terrible, etc.)

 

?

 

Don't want to derail this thread but what constitutes "exciting" texting? Can you give a few examples?

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I give my experience of being ghosted by a guy

After our last meeting we never contacted each other for two weeks. Then I thought I might have to text him first, so I sent him a text. He texted me back like half an hour later, telling me that he already had found someone. I was like: ok goodbye:lmao:

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Don't want to derail this thread but what constitutes "exciting" texting? Can you give a few examples?

 

Well, to compare, the one guy I ghosted because he was boring, would send texts asking about my day, asking what I was doing, would send an occassional "Yay, Warriors!" text (they're the NBA team we both liked). But he rarely cracked any jokes or flirted.

 

Another guy I was texting at the same time, would also text me about the Warriors, but always included more in-depth analysis like, "Their bench is on fire tonight!" sprinkled with flirtations like, "Klay Thompson dropped that 3 for you! I'm jealous!" This guy flirted a lot and always made me laugh.

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mortensorchid

I was ghosted fairly recently. I met him about four years ago just for a flash at a party, then I met him again a few months later. He and I were together for about six months, then things got strange in terms of communication. We'd arrange to meet that weekend, then I wouldn't hear from him. He'd give some lame excuse as to why - he said he went to this bar thinking I would be there and I wasn't. Well, if he wanted to know if I was there or anyplace else he could have called / texted, right?

 

We'd meet here and there, have a weekend, then that's that. He said he just got divorced after we'd met, it's weird, etc. True? Well, maybe so. His marriage was something odd (which I won't get into but it was strange). If something doesn't seem right, it usually isn't. You may never know what that is or is not, but it will always linger there. And something's not right with him, or the person who is ghosting. Just have to move on.

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