Jump to content

His comment bothered me


Recommended Posts

My boyfriend said something along the lines that is his ex wife fell seriously ill, as much as they don't get along, he would have to be by her side.

 

Then he kind of backtracked and said that he obviously wouldn't be caring for her but would just have to be there for her.

 

Does this indicate that he is still in love with her?

 

They have children together.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Me personally if either of my ex-wives were sick (seriously ill as you indicated) and needed something I would try to support them in any way I could. I’ve been divorced from them for 17 and 7 years respectively.

 

Would absolutely not mean in any way I was still in love with them. And if my current relationship was strong and open the right woman (who was not insecure) would understand that.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

No. I still worry about my childrens father who is severely neglecting his health issues, that if something happens to him, I would be devastated. I have no love feelings for him in that way but he has been a part of my life for so long and the father of my kids, he's still a family member we all care about.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

My mother is my dad's first phone call if he's ill. She's usually first one at the hospital, if he ends up there. They haven't been together in nearly 30 years. It doesn't mean they're still in love.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
My boyfriend said something along the lines that is his ex wife fell seriously ill, as much as they don't get along, he would have to be by her side.

 

Then he kind of backtracked and said that he obviously wouldn't be caring for her but would just have to be there for her.

 

Does this indicate that he is still in love with her?

 

They have children together.

 

It bothers you that your boyfriend has compassion? I think it shows he's an honorable man and an honorable father. I would be extremely proud of my BF if he stood by the mother of his children if she went through cancer or something similar. I would support him and offer my help in any way I could.

 

No it does not indicates he still loves her. You really need to look in your heart why you are jealous of a poor sick woman.

  • Like 6
Link to post
Share on other sites
My boyfriend said something along the lines that is his ex wife fell seriously ill, as much as they don't get along, he would have to be by her side.

 

Then he kind of backtracked and said that he obviously wouldn't be caring for her but would just have to be there for her.

 

Does this indicate that he is still in love with her?

 

They have children together.

 

I was married for 30 years and have two grown children. He is, however, the father of my children. He became ill with a treatable form of leukemia but was seriously ill for a little while. I was there to support him and, probably, more to support our children. Furthermore, since I was with him for 30 years, I was actually able to give some health history and observations, input etc. There is nothing wrong with maintaining a supportive and amicable co-parenting environment even with grown children. We are bonded by 30 years of "life" experiences and that bond is hard to break. I am not in love with him but I do still care what happens to him. I would never become his caregiver if that became necessary.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

Regardless of age, age of kids, divorced/separated, etc...therw are times we must show compassion. It's what makes us "human".

Link to post
Share on other sites

I guess I'm a little different. I have a civil co-parenting relationship with my XH but I do not consider him a friend by any means. If something happened I may try to make some things in our parenting arrangement more convenient for him, especially in relationship to the kids, but I wouldn't do any 'care' for him. I see that the job of his current wife.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
I guess I'm a little different. I have a civil co-parenting relationship with my XH but I do not consider him a friend by any means. If something happened I may try to make some things in our parenting arrangement more convenient for him, especially in relationship to the kids, but I wouldn't do any 'care' for him. I see that the job of his current wife.

 

Not everyone has a spouse, though. We don't know that OP's boyfriend ex wife has a new husband/boyfriend.

 

My dad doesn't, which is why he still relies on my mom somewhat. My mom's first phone call would be to her husband, but I have no doubt my dad would be there for her if need be (just not as her main carer, as there would be other people before him for that job... just as I don't think my mom would be my dad's main carer either if it came to it)

Link to post
Share on other sites

Only 4 months of dating him & him saying he wants to be there for the mother of his kids bc she's sick bothers you...my advice is of that truly bothers after only 4 months (that's not long at all) you probably shouldn't be with someone that has an ex wife & kids. He has a whole history with her & you don't want him to be there during such bad time...that says more about you as a person than him...some people can't handle it, nothing wrong with it but during that with his kids, the last thing he needs is an insecure girlfriend.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...