Work schedules

[ManicInParadise]

My wife and I have been married for 3 years, 2 kids, 3 dogs yay for us.

 

But we cannot figure out our work life balance, and it's causing tension. We own our own business that requires a lot of my time during the week. My wife has her own career which is where the issues arise.

 

These are my issues- Anytime the kids are sick or have Drs appts I have to take them, my wife has zero flexibility in her schedule for getting off and works 7-7 4 days a week. Which means that I have to get the kids ready and off to daycare and then leave work early to pick them up by 4-5pm. Basically a few days a week I work 9-4ish.

 

My wife believes and feels that since we own our business that I have the most flexibility in my hours so it defaults to me.

 

I should frame this that I love my kids, I'm not saying I don't want to spend time with them. I love the time that we have together.

 

Thoughts questions? Just trying to see if anyone else has had this and made it work. This is really the only "fight" we have in our relationship.

[carhill]

Currently, without any discussion or prompting, how does parenting go for her on her three days off and outside of work hours?

 

Welcome to LS

[Got it]

Can you get a nanny or some child care help for you? I understand, my husband and I are both executives and so it's hard for us to have last minute changes to our schedule. So we have my mom watching our daughter and so she can help with dr. appointments, etc.

 

I get her thinking since you are your own boss you have the final say with your schedule, but since the buck does stop with you, you are needed in the business. I think it comes down to respecting each others schedules and careers and compromising or finding a third party who can help out.

[Gloria25]

Well, I believe that when both parents are working - regardless if it's for their own business or for someone else - there's never gonna be a "work-life balance".

 

I have no kids and work a typical 8 hours and between relatives, errands, working out, friends, etc. - I stay busy. I would gather that someone with kids would be exhausted after working all day to have to do things that make a "house" a "home" (i.e. tending to kids/husband, cooking, cleaning).

 

So, if both parents are working - no matter how you split up the chores/stuff, you still got two people who are trying to do everything after putting in 8 hrs or more on the job.

 

I mean, some suggested getting hired help. But, me, I wouldn't have a husband and kids, if it meant me spending time on my job and having other people watch my kids and/or cook/clean....that's just me.

[preraph]

So you are too busy to work in some relief daily or probably even weekly, but work it in when you can and schedule that time for yourselves individually or you as a couple or just sleep time, and demand your family respect that and have enough support at work to rely on them.

[Els]

We have no kids, so I can't comment on that specifically, but I do handle pretty much anything that requires time off during work hours (household and car maintenance, handling anything related to the landlord or rental agency, etc). This is because it's difficut for my partner to take time off work, whereas my work hours are flexible.

 

So, speaking from that perspective, I agree with your wife, but with a caveat - she needs to reciprocate in her own way, not just expect it. Flexibility usually comes at a price, after all. For instance, my partner contributes more than I do towards finances. In your case, as you have your own business, is your wife understanding of the times when business is slow and most of your joint income comes from her?