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Setting Boundaries?


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Recently I hooked up with a former schoolmate. Weve known each other for years and have talked about hooking up but never did until now.

 

Since then she texts me every day, asks what I am doing and has asked to get together again - both Friday and Saturday (all day) this coming weekend. Honestly I want and will keep my space - one day a weekend is enough for me.

 

How do I set time and space boundaries and not seem like a dick? I like having time for my fiends, family and myself too and am not willing to give that up.

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Since it's early in the relationship (as opposed to the friendship), I'd be very up front with her about what you want and are able to offer. Any further participation is then under well defined terms.

 

Since she's been a friend, I'd also consider ending the relationship if you feel she's becoming too vested. Can be a dick move to use somebody under those circumstances...

 

Mr. Lucky

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This is an old friend? Just be a dick - she shouldn't be too outraged by that and there's not a lot of need for formality w friends. (I don't mean like total a-hole but be blunt and frank.) Either she takes it as is or not, and that'll be the best no matter which.

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Just talk to her. Tell her that you value her company, but you're going to take some time to do other things.

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If you just don't really have much of a real relationship set up yet then just let her know when you can see her and pick a day. If she's going to start expecting to spend the weekend with you every week then I would talk to her.

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On Monday we planned a day trip Saturday of the upcoming weekend and I thought that was a stretch for me. Honestly I don't want to send an entire day with someone when we are just getting to know each other (weve known each other for years but we dnt KNOW each other). Within 2 days she's inviting me over or out to watch a movie on Friday.

 

This might sounds pretty freaking lame but I have been really looking forward to coming home Friday, cooking a good meal, having a cocktail and chilling by myself. Even the thought of a piece of ass Friday is unappealing...I'll wait for Saturday.

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