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Tigerwulong

I was walking down the street and I noticed many couples. When I look out my window I noticed many couples. Then I realized that I never had a girl friend or ever been in a relationship. I started wonder why I never had a girl friend. I looked at many sites on the internet and they all say the same thing, that a person should be confident, love him-self, and etc. Well I have all those and I have been rejected 5 times. Hence I believe the reason I don't have a girl friend or people like me don't have a girl friend is because of natural selection. Natural selection picks the strong and smart people. Usually the strong and smart people are better looking. Hence the strong and smart people are more likely to reproduce and survive. I am not strong or smart, I am just average hence I am not attractive. Natural Selection wouldn't pick a person like me to reproduce. I was wondering what others though about this.

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Confused9999

You realize it has more to do with your attitude and self confidence then intelligence and looks!

 

If you start believing in yourself and start being confident girls will be attracted to you.

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I was walking down the street and I noticed many couples. When I look out my window I noticed many couples. Then I realized that I never had a girl friend or ever been in a relationship. I started wonder why I never had a girl friend. I looked at many sites on the internet and they all say the same thing, that a person should be confident, love him-self, and etc. Well I have all those and I have been rejected 5 times. Hence I believe the reason I don't have a girl friend or people like me don't have a girl friend is because of natural selection. Natural selection picks the strong and smart people. Usually the strong and smart people are better looking. Hence the strong and smart people are more likely to reproduce and survive. I am not strong or smart, I am just average hence I am not attractive. Natural Selection wouldn't pick a person like me to reproduce. I was wondering what others though about this.

 

Your argument gets blown to pieces when logic is applied.

 

Look again at the couples in the street and the couples you know. Are they without exception strong, smart and attractive? Of course not.

 

When I look around I see many average people in relationships. Average in looks, average in intelligence and average in strength. There are some butt ugly people in relationships. There are some people who are dumb as a box of rocks in relationships. There are people who are emotionally damaged. People who have physical disabilities. Or a mental illness. All in relationships.

 

I'll lay money that it's your social skills letting you down. It's not the fact that you're average just like the rest of us.

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Cablebandit

OP has only been rejected 5 times???? Lucky for you. I've been rejected 10x in just one day before. I am also very happily married now and have sex 5x a week because I kept trying. Rejection is just one step closer to finding someone. Keep at it!!!!

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Maybe you just want the best for you and are simply one of those picky types. Never presume someone in a relationship is having the perfect life or indeed is a perfect person. Many people settle for less for fear of being alone. I too have not had many long term relationships simply because I have a few inner issues but I'm happy to be alone (alone, not lonely) and would rather be happy alone, than sad together. I've fallen in love 5 times in my life and sadly 4 of those turned out to be people who did hurt me badly and would've been a living nightmare to still be with. So yeah, presuming that your life would be so much better if you were in a relationship is a huge step. I do agree that some of us are not built for relationships, but that doesn't mean we can't be happy. Remember that happiness in life comes from within, not from others. We have to be happy with ourselves before we can share it with others, otherwise we end up believing our happiness only exists when with one certain person (which is where you find many people struggling to survive after a breakup). Just remember, you're not alone in being alone.

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Lois_Griffin

I see couples ALL the time where the woman is attractive and/or VERY pretty and the guy, at best, is just average or downright unattractive.

 

Happens all the time.

 

Which leads me to believe it was something ELSE that drew these women to these guys initially, because it sure as hell wasn't their looks.

 

You need that 'something else.'

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Cablebandit
I see couples ALL the time where the woman is attractive and/or VERY pretty and the guy, at best, is just average or downright unattractive.

 

Happens all the time.

 

Which leads me to believe it was something ELSE that drew these women to these guys initially, because it sure as hell wasn't their looks.

 

You need that 'something else.'

 

My wife is better looking than me I think. I make her laugh and feel good about herself. That's an easy way to get many a woman's attention.

 

My dad always said to not worry about what you don't have but to showcase what you do. I have a pretty witty sense of humor and that has been my "panty-dropper" if you will.

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I was walking down the street and I noticed many couples. When I look out my window I noticed many couples. Then I realized that I never had a girl friend or ever been in a relationship. I started wonder why I never had a girl friend. I looked at many sites on the internet and they all say the same thing, that a person should be confident, love him-self, and etc. Well I have all those and I have been rejected 5 times. Hence I believe the reason I don't have a girl friend or people like me don't have a girl friend is because of natural selection. Natural selection picks the strong and smart people. Usually the strong and smart people are better looking. Hence the strong and smart people are more likely to reproduce and survive. I am not strong or smart, I am just average hence I am not attractive. Natural Selection wouldn't pick a person like me to reproduce. I was wondering what others though about this.

 

Women look for a man to keep them safe and entertain them, otherwise they'd remain single. That's why women leave boring men for more exciting prospects every day.

 

You're either projecting an insecure and lonely vibe, or your company is boring because you don't have much to talk about that would interest a woman, or usually, both things at once.

 

To become interesting to women you need to do a job you enjoy, have your **** together, and have a hobby you're passionate about. That's the rules of the game in this day and age.

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Tigerwulong

I understand all of your points of view but here is my problem. All the 5 girls that rejected me all have boyfriends or are married. I just asked out a very attractive girl who happens to be my neighbor, and she said she is single but not interested in me. So I got rejected for the 6th time. Later that night I heard her making love to guy. From all this I am lead to believe that I am missing something. Why did all the girls that rejected me pick another guy. I have a decent job and I am able to pay all my bills. But I know a guy who doesn't have job and doesn't make any money and he has a very attractive girlfriend. That guy looks like male model (ones you see in magazines) hence the girl doesn't care if he has a job or not. I have seen many ugly people and people with disabilities who have very attractive girlfriends. Hence I am lead to believe that those men are superior to me in some way. This is why I believe that those men were picked by Natural Selection to mate with girls. They probably have better traits that will benefit the evaluation of the human race.

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I was walking down the street and I noticed many couples. When I look out my window I noticed many couples. Then I realized that I never had a girl friend or ever been in a relationship. I started wonder why I never had a girl friend. I looked at many sites on the internet and they all say the same thing, that a person should be confident, love him-self, and etc. Well I have all those and I have been rejected 5 times. Hence I believe the reason I don't have a girl friend or people like me don't have a girl friend is because of natural selection. Natural selection picks the strong and smart people. Usually the strong and smart people are better looking. Hence the strong and smart people are more likely to reproduce and survive. I am not strong or smart, I am just average hence I am not attractive. Natural Selection wouldn't pick a person like me to reproduce. I was wondering what others though about this.

 

Honey, make yourself feel better and go in Walmart sometime on a weekend. Look around. Now do you still think average or below looking people can't find a partner and have way too many kids?

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BronzeAgeJaeger217
Five or six times is nothing!

Believe me.

 

And being flaked on feels different than rejection

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All the 5 girls that rejected me all have boyfriends or are married.

 

Well of course they are going to reject you if they have a partner. What other outcome would you expect?

 

Are you sad because they didn't cheat on their partner with you?

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I understand all of your points of view but here is my problem. All the 5 girls that rejected me all have boyfriends or are married. I just asked out a very attractive girl who happens to be my neighbor, and she said she is single but not interested in me. So I got rejected for the 6th time. Later that night I heard her making love to guy. From all this I am lead to believe that I am missing something. Why did all the girls that rejected me pick another guy. I have a decent job and I am able to pay all my bills. But I know a guy who doesn't have job and doesn't make any money and he has a very attractive girlfriend. That guy looks like male model (ones you see in magazines) hence the girl doesn't care if he has a job or not. I have seen many ugly people and people with disabilities who have very attractive girlfriends. Hence I am lead to believe that those men are superior to me in some way. This is why I believe that those men were picked by Natural Selection to mate with girls. They probably have better traits that will benefit the evaluation of the human race.

 

Or maybe you should stop thinking of women's value only in terms of whether they want to sleep with you? Just get comfortable talking to women as having interest and then they'll want to talk to you about their interest. Then they'll come to you without you realizing it.

 

Just have conversations with random women(of all shapes, ages, size). Nothing major, just small talk that last 1 min or less.

 

Girl in a comic shop;

You: Who writes that comic?

Girl: Insert name.

YOu: oh, I love that guy. he wrote .... Maybe I'll give this book a try.

 

End. Walk away.

 

Do it enough times till it just becomes a reflex.

 

Guys who are good with women are good with lots of different people. Play to your strengths if you aren't a super social person.

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Tigerwulong

I think that "I have a partner" rejection is a lie. I have been rejected by girls who told me they are married and didn't have a wring on there finger.

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BronzeAgeJaeger217
Well of course they are going to reject you if they have a partner. What other outcome would you expect?

 

Are you sad because they didn't cheat on their partner with you?

 

I wonder after how many "I have a boyfriend" responses from women, should the OP realize it's probably hopeless, my brother is 23 and never had a first date in his whole life, probably will end up being single for the remainder of his 20s if he continues to be a homebody a lot

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The must important thing is to be in relationship that is build with love. (Loving someone for who he or she is not for what he or she is)

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I am not strong or smart, I am just average hence I am not attractive. Natural Selection wouldn't pick a person like me to reproduce. I was wondering what others though about this.

 

Self-fulfilling misery. You believe something strongly enough, you make it a truth. Good or bad.

 

Get more interesting by finding hobbies and social groups to practice conversation. Improve your English if approaching English speakers. Work out, improve your outer appearance and self image at the same time. Get rejected at least 100 times. Focus on having real conversations before asking for a date. Build a rapport.

 

Only you can make you feel like a loser. Read this if you want to feel justified and wallow in sadness:

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/search/587787-east-asian-men-why-we-unattractive

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I think that "I have a partner" rejection is a lie. I have been rejected by girls who told me they are married and didn't have a wring on there finger.

 

I describe myself as married. It's easier than explaining that I'm in a long term defacto relationship.

 

You might see this as a lie, but I see it as a quick way of explaining that I'm not available. As a stranger, you are not entitled to any more information.

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I wonder after how many "I have a boyfriend" responses from women, should the OP realize it's probably hopeless, my brother is 23 and never had a first date in his whole life, probably will end up being single for the remainder of his 20s if he continues to be a homebody a lot

 

Certainly more than the handful of rejections he's had.

 

Mind you, I've never been an advocate of a guy asking out a girl who he barely knows. You'd have to have balls of steel to deal with the amount of rejection which comes with it. Much better to ask out someone who he's been talking with at college/party/sport/hobby activity.

 

And yes, your brother has no hope if he doesn't get out.

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BronzeAgeJaeger217
Certainly more than the handful of rejections he's had.

 

Mind you, I've never been an advocate of a guy asking out a girl who he barely knows. You'd have to have balls of steel to deal with the amount of rejection which comes with it. Much better to ask out someone who he's been talking with at college/party/sport/hobby activity.

 

And yes, your brother has no hope if he doesn't get out.

 

Yeah exactly, and the OP should know that there are lots of guys in his situation in this forum

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Tigerwulong

I guess starting a conversation with a girl is the way to go. But the problem is I work at company and I don't have time to do other things. There are no girls on the team I work with hence it is hard to start conversations with girls I know. So I ask random girls. There are plenty of girls in the company and I asked a few to lunch. All of them said they were busy or not interested, one of the girls said I was ugly and she didn't want to have coffee with ugly guys. After that I was really depressed. Sometimes I feel like girls just reject you as quickly as possible because they are annoyed by you. I think that is very unfair.

 

One thing that I find is wrong with society is people are judged by how they look. A good example of this is in Indian culture. If any one has seen a Bollywood films they know what I am talking about. The men in those films look like gods. Since Bollywood films are so popular, girls from any race expect an Indian male to look like a Bollywood actor. I wish girls could judge guys for who they are and not how they look.

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All of them said they were busy or not interested, one of the girls said I was ugly and she didn't want to have coffee with ugly guys. After that I was really depressed. Sometimes I feel like girls just reject you as quickly as possible because they are annoyed by you. I think that is very unfair.

 

Well that is not the type of girl you would want to date anyway, that is pretty rude and nasty of her, but what exactly did you say to her to get a response like that?

Not many people go full on nasty when merely asked to go for coffee, I guess your social skills may need fine tuning.

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