Threesome #1 Bad...Threesome #2...My fault?

[Crazylover2000]

This story is long but I will try my best to shorten it. My husband and I have been married since 2009. We met when we were 15 in 2002 and began steadily dating in 2003. We had our child at 18 years old. My husband was terrified and spent more time with his friends than at home. Somehow, having another baby seemed like a good idea at the time so the first baby wouldn't be alone. Second baby came and things hadn't changed. He still took off after working all day. I was a stay at home mother who breastfed. He never changed a diaper, gave baths, fed, played, put to bed, or comforted our babies that were 21 months apart. A lot of animosity grew between him and I. Final straw was after we were married and the children were now 4 and 6. He asked for another baby. Promised he would be there. I believed him. Guess what? I begged him to just hold me my entire pregnancy. Too busy with work and friends. Third baby was born. He became Ill with RSV and spent a month in the ICU. Came home to taking care of three babies on my own, him still not around.

Summer came and my husband and his friends were partying with his boss at his wealthy estate. I'm not one to party but I tried to connect anyway possible. Ended up sleeping at a friends house and having a threesome with her and her boyfriend. Husband found out a month later and I left. Moved into my mother's home with the kids. I continued to see the man I had the threesome with and actually fell in love...or at least I thought. My husband during this break slept around..ALOT...even bringing women back to our apartment where him and his best friend took over and transformed into a bachelor pad.

By the end of that summer, myself and the man I was seeing called it off and I went home to my husband. He had become an alcoholic which took a lot of time to release him from. We decided that apartment he enjoyed with his numerous women and best friend had too many bad memories and decided we would rent an apartment next to my mother. Everyday I was accused of cheating. To this day I still am. Funny thing is that I slept with one person and was in a relationship. He slept with people I knew...close friends of mine...and very beautiful high school crushes he had. The total number...8 women over a 2 month period!

Long story short...we moved out of the apartment next to my mother after a couple years to a new place. My best friend, my husband, his cousin and his cousin's girlfriend all went to a fourth of july party and drank. We came back to our new apartment where we played drinking games till early morning. I decided it was time to go lay down before the room started spinning.

My husband and my best friend stayed awake and drank together. Next thing I know, My husband and my best friend walk into my room completely naked and my husband is clearly aroused. We had all joked about a threesome before but never anything planned. The fact that they stayed awake together while the rest of us slept, the fact that they walked into my room already naked, and the fact my husband had the biggest hard on still kills me to this day. What the hell were they doing before hand?

The threesome began with my husband providing oral for me and my friend kissing my neck and rubbing my breasts. She is not just my friend, she is my best friend by the way. Quickly, it turned into him having sex with her and me sitting at the end of the bed watching. This was no typical sexual encounter. He was "Hate ****ing" her. He would look back at me and sneer. He would tell me that the other women he ended up in bed with couldn't handle it either. My friend had never experienced the magnitude of me and my husbands sex life. Very rough, very open, and experimentation is always a given. After watching them have sex for hours, I got up, walked out of the room. I could hear my husband say "I didn't cum yet!"...I went and sat on the balcony and my friend joined me. She just looked at the hurt on my face and said nothing. I remember looking her straight in her eyes and saying "Its my turn to **** your husband now, Right!?". She said sure of course. I'm not attracted to her husband so that would never happen.

I went to lay back down in bed and my husband tried to hold me. I pushed him away and he said "WTF is your problem. Be an *******." I cried myself to sleep that night. I woke up early that morning as I had work in a retail store and walked alone around town and just cried, trying to wrap my head around what had just happened.

Come to find out, my husband asked my friend for 20$ to buy me some flowers because he "Felt Horrible". Well, never saw any flowers and my friend never got her 20$ back.

 

Fast forward to two weeks ago. Me and my husband have come a long way since the encounter with my best friend. After I was over the anger, the thought of him with another women turned me on extremely. We would talk about his experiences with other women and it changed our sex life completely. So I invited a friend who was bisexual. She only met my husband once which was what I wanted. No ties to me and or him. The plan was to have her come up and have a few drinks which she agreed to and then find me a man so there wasn't a third wheel, meaning me in the corner, again. My husband was all for it until the last minute, when my friend was already here, and decided that he would be too uncomfortable watching another man touch me. So....again....me, her and him. This time I took the lead with her. I'm not bisexual but I do love a woman's body and am open to new experiences. Well...that turned into me and her and then him and her.

She was way more experienced than I was. She knew different techniques for pleasuring him and on numerous occasions I had to literally pull them apart because I was afraid he would climax for her. He took over completely, pushed me aside, and him and her layed on my bed for an hour just moaning and climaxing. I stood up, told them I was going upstairs to watch a porno and they could be alone. They continued for a little while then decided to join me. During all this time I did not climax, not even close. She did, he couldn't because I had stopped him so many times. She became tired and went to sleep in my bed.

My husband continued to walk around the house naked and masturbating. He couldn't release and I knew why. She wasn't there to help him. I tried to help him release for over 3 hours!!! Didn't work. I finally had to beg her to stand in my doorway so he could look at her, I covered my body from my head to my pelvis with blankets and wouldn't you know...he climaxed in 5 minutes.

 

Since then I have been having a really hard time. All he keeps saying is "This is what you wanted" over and over and over again. NO that's not what I wanted. We have also been very honest about people from our past. He ended up telling me all the women he slept with. I took his virginity. So after I did that he slept with 17 women! I have slept with 2 men since we have been together! Our 14 year anniversary just passed.

Everyday I'm accused of cheating, everyday I'm told that I wanted the threesomes to happen and that I got what I wanted. He is distant at times but then sorry, loving, affectionate.

 

I'm so confused. I don't know what to do. I'm depressed. Should I just let him go. Move out and let him find whatever he may be looking for? Is he looking for something? Am I just paranoid?

 

Any comments would be helpful. I can take criticsm.

Thank you.

[GunslingerRoland]

Is this real? Everything about your life is so dysfunctional I pray that this can't be someone's real situation.

 

 

Anyway yes, leave him for like 5,000,000 reasons that you listed above.

 

 

You covered yourself in blankets while pleasuring him as he watched your best friend so he could get off? WTF? That is the most messed up thing I've ever read.

 

 

You need to get some counseling and learn that this isn't a relationship. And you are not a family.

[stillafool]

Yes you should have let him go along time ago. You both have destroyed your self esteem. Enough already, go!

[CarrieT]

Classic story of people who got married WAY TOO YOUNG and after having created children, do what people in the 20s do to "get it out of their system" (i.e. sleep around, threesomes ).

 

Time to the call the marriage a sham, go your separate ways, grow up a little and learn to be on your own and establish adult responsibilities regarding the children.

 

Maybe later the OP can consider dating and having mature, adult relationships - because this is far from it.

Edited June 2, 2016 by CarrieT

[Toodaloo]

Oh my days what a mess.

 

Just leave.

 

This is not and never has been a relationship.

[Buddhist]

You were both children when you met, you had children while you were still children. So it's no surprise really that you both act like children in a relationship. Let this one go. You are still young, look after you and the kids forget this toxic connection and start over.

[Porter56]

Wow.....just....wow.

 

They should make this into a movie. It'd be GREAT!!! Lol

[seamos]

Just a guess but I think you guys ought to quit doing dope.

[mikeylo]

I really never could imagine a marriage being like this. You never know what goes on behind closed doors kind of scenario !

[MJJean]

He shirks his responsibilities as husband and father, up to and including having sex with other women. You allow and encourage it. You then allow and participate in adultery.

 

What do you think a marriage is supposed to be, because what you describe certainly isn't it.