Revolver Posted June 1, 2016 Share Posted June 1, 2016 How was it? How did it make you feel? Were you intimidated, did you have a feeling he was out of your league? Plenty of women who say yes have said they felt insecure alot of the time and had a feeling of "it's too good to be true". Like they were just waiting for the moment he got bored or something and never talked to her again. And for this thread let's drop the whole Disney "well looks are subjective" crap. We're adults here 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 1, 2016 Share Posted June 1, 2016 Yes. Many times and many of those didn't last very long at all because that's all they had to offer, looks. Nothing else under the hood unfortunately. It can get old really quick for me. I need more than just good looks to keep me interested. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted June 1, 2016 Share Posted June 1, 2016 I know you don't want to go here but how do you define "more attractive" between genders? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted June 1, 2016 Share Posted June 1, 2016 How was it? How did it make you feel? Were you intimidated, did you have a feeling he was out of your league? Plenty of women who say yes have said they felt insecure alot of the time and had a feeling of "it's too good to be true". Like they were just waiting for the moment he got bored or something and never talked to her again. And for this thread let's drop the whole Disney "well looks are subjective" crap. We're adults here I always thought my ex was more attractive and HE thought I was.... so guess we balanced each other out... We were obviously both biased though as we loved each other a lot, and I think where there is love and attraction (beyond just the physical) naturally you are gonna think your partner is HOT. I always did anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
deep_night Posted June 1, 2016 Share Posted June 1, 2016 yes, ive been with someone who was objectively more good looking than i. he literally turned heads. but he had the ugly duckling syndrome, so he was humble in that regards. he thought i was really attractive and made me feel very wanted, so i never felt inferior in any way. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 1, 2016 Share Posted June 1, 2016 Not that I recall. But what if I am less attractive than I believe and the guys really were hotter? Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted June 1, 2016 Share Posted June 1, 2016 Some people don't really rate physical appearances that high on their agenda + physically good looking =/= physically attractive =/= a good, compatible partner. But to answer the OP, yes. I still am. It's fine. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 1, 2016 Share Posted June 1, 2016 Yes in my 8 months on/off rel last year. I was intimated first couple of weeks and was worried that I don't measure up. Then I got to know him, and saw that he is lacked depth and is much less intelligent than me. All the intimidation was gone. I actually was in control of that relationship for the most part. I didn't even see his looks anymore, he just annoyed me to the point where I even stopped being physically attracted and ended it. Looks are pretty meaningless to me. I think that's where men and women think differently. Give me a very average but smart guy any day. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted June 1, 2016 Share Posted June 1, 2016 Yes. Most times we'd have a charming laugh about it. He was a gent in every way. Not full of himself. I enjoyed his personality, talents and ethics. Nothing to be insecure about , we complimented each other and seemed to grow in admiration. What broke us up wasn't looks. Link to post Share on other sites
Buddhist Posted June 1, 2016 Share Posted June 1, 2016 (edited) Honestly? Yes. I have dated someone who on model level (he was scouted but not interested) and 12yrs my junior. This guy was universally attractive to other women. He got lot of attention everywhere we went. How did it make me feel? It was fun, but at the end of the day his personality and mine were just miles apart, we had very little in common as it turns out. He was a party person, I'm an introvert go figure. The sex was great, the conversation less so we only lasted 18 months. It's gets old real quick, there's only so much longevity in a relationship based on waking up next to someone hot. Some insecurities of mine were triggered yes. Not massively so. But it was my lesson. Edited June 1, 2016 by Buddhist 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted June 1, 2016 Share Posted June 1, 2016 "More attractive," in who's opinion? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Buddhist Posted June 1, 2016 Share Posted June 1, 2016 I also found dealing with the vanity and insecurities of the 'beautiful people' pretty nauseating as well. Yes they are insecure too, my God yes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted June 1, 2016 Share Posted June 1, 2016 Plenty of times. Hotter, sexier, younger. How I felt? damn lucky 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Revolver Posted June 1, 2016 Author Share Posted June 1, 2016 I know you don't want to go here but how do you define "more attractive" between genders? Ehh It's fairly easy, look at Jay Z and Beyoncé for example. Is it hard for you to see who the more attractive one is in that pair? Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted June 1, 2016 Share Posted June 1, 2016 Oh yeah, I have def. dated guys more attractive than I am. My high school boy friend was HOT. Great face, jaw line, cheek bones, and the best full lips Add that he was an athlete with a impressive 6 pack and lovely olive skin - he was a good lookin' dude! Not a dummy either (valedictorian of his class). Honestly, it didn't make me feel insecure. Once I got past the first "okay, here I am naked" event - I felt easy around him, he was kind, and made me feel pretty. When he got looks from others, it was just an ego boost "yep ladies, he is mine". We eventually grew apart (he was quirky - too smart for his own good), our split had nothing to do with his looks. I have dated some other good looking guys casually - again, I never felt insecure really - I never thought "oh, they are too hot, so they are going to leave". 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 1, 2016 Share Posted June 1, 2016 Oh, Lord, yes. I've always had a weakness for a pretty man face and hair. One old flame (not a real bf) was way prettier than I will ever be. First time I saw him I was snickering because my first impression was he was a dandy. But then he ended up being someone I really admire for the way he recreated himself. I never felt it was too good to be true because like I said, he wasn't "my boyfriend," but it was the 1970s and people didn't have the same romantic stages then as now. Then it was sleep together, hang out, maybe see a few other people, rinse and repeat. I rinsed and repeated him 25 years later not too many years ago, in fact. I was lucky to have encounters with some pretty hot guys if you like art or rocker types. But I also fell for a couple real hard who not everyone thought were very attractive, but I did. I like swagger and rock style. And I was good enough for them because I had some things going for myself other than looks, which were medium. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted June 1, 2016 Share Posted June 1, 2016 yes i have had relationships with really good looking guys...guys that turn heads...some of the guys i have dated werent so classically good looking but had real heart.......i didnt really judge them on looks...but one of them in particular....an italian man i went out with...was ribbed pretty bad for wanting to be with me....and with a few of the guys i have been with...i had overheard what their friends think of me....so it wasnt that i just thought i was out of their league..it was what others though their league was.........one guy i went out with his name was frances...italian good looking...i overheard his friend say ..."do you put a paper bag over her head'...needless to say a fight happened....i initially went out with him because i loved the name frances......reminded me of snt frances of assisi...softened me towards him.....he wasnt any saint though...... i dont know why guys like me..im not good looking......maybe its just because they can feel comfortable, i listen and i am a warm person...with or without a paperbag..i also have a sense of humor..i love to laugh... but leagues to me are for footballl....because i dont have one league in particular......... whatever the reason....i dont judge a guy by his looks ....its always that they have something else i feel attracted too......deb Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted June 2, 2016 Share Posted June 2, 2016 Ehh It's fairly easy, look at Jay Z and Beyoncé for example. Is it hard for you to see who the more attractive one is in that pair? No, but that's a really obvious example bc they're so far apart, and it can be seen pretty objectively. What about Brad Bitt and Angelina Jolie - which one is more attractive? I'm not trying to be the social engineer here lol just illustrating the difficulty of comparing men and women when the criteria for attractiveness in them is generally different. You can see a sort of universally aethsetic difference between Quasi Modo and Snow White but when you get ppl closer overall (which is where most of the population falls) and judge them pseudo-sexually with all the contributing factors that go into that and not just like pieces of art, it's more complicated. I bet most of the women here who've said yes weren't/aren't actually in different 'leagues' than their partners. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted June 2, 2016 Share Posted June 2, 2016 I have and continue to date guys who, I consider are more attractive than me. I've also dated guys who to me, they were attractive, but not to most people. I don't really feel intimidated cuz of them being better looking, but mostly cuz I date Caucasian men, I fear that my features, skin, hair, etc...are not what they consider "beautiful". My last FWB was very attractive. My niece saw him and she was like "wow". I don't know. I found him very attractive at times, but not so at other times. And yes, while his ex-wife was gorgeous, I didn't feel intimidated cuz I believe that her personality was uglier than her looks. Most guys I dated were players...so, I guess I need to step away from certain guys. So yes, now on the hunt, if he seems really attractive, I start wondering if I should chat him up. Oh yes, my current guy is very attractive too and yes, that was one reason I kinda held off too. I was like, age differences, he's attractive, not sure if I wanna go through any drama...been there and done that with the hottie players. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted June 2, 2016 Share Posted June 2, 2016 Yes, and I felt a bit uneasy with one guy but that's because he was a bit of a maverick and I wasn't sure if it was a date or not. I later found out he was bi, which was why I was getting confusing signals. Another guy I dated was really gorgeous looking, nice person, but unfortunately just not very bright. It became more obvious through the date that, sweet though he was, I would only be interested in him for his body. I had to opt out then. It was a real shame actually because he was a nice guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Buddhist Posted June 2, 2016 Share Posted June 2, 2016 I bet most of the women here who've said yes weren't/aren't actually in different 'leagues' than their partners. I'd love to believe you Jen. But I was basing my particular case off the external reactions both of us as people get from the general populace. I rarely rate a second look, he got randoms walking up to him and telling him he's handsome. Would love to believe that's my league but my past dating history says otherwise. Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted June 2, 2016 Share Posted June 2, 2016 I'd personally be worried if I was dating someone I thought was 'less' attractive than I am. I haven't dated extensively and when I have done in the past, it's always been with a LTR in mind; I just think you have to be sensationally shallow / very insecure to waste any time on that particular criterion + I kind of automatically think the guy I'm with is the hottest guy on Earth anyway, because feelings tend to take over objectivity. Also, as I'm about to hit 40, I couldn't care less in what 'league' I'm likely to place. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 2, 2016 Share Posted June 2, 2016 I'd love to believe you Jen. But I was basing my particular case off the external reactions both of us as people get from the general populace. I rarely rate a second look, he got randoms walking up to him and telling him he's handsome. Would love to believe that's my league but my past dating history says otherwise. Yeah, same for me. When I was seeing the guy I mentioned, after people met him, the first comment they would make when I saw them again was "your boyfriend is very good looking". Even guys would say stuff like "he is so tall". Just things they never said about other guys. When my brother met him he was convinced that he was a player and would hurt me. He actually said "his looks are intimidating". It helped that he was always very well groomed and knew how to dress. I never had any feelings for him but I did try for way longer than with other guys because he had a great body and was good in bed 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted June 2, 2016 Share Posted June 2, 2016 Ok the serious answer is no. I think men like to feel that they are punching above their weight and I'm very happy to take the guy who doesn't have the exact symmetric features that women's magazines love so much. I actually have a weakness for a big nose and I like men around my height so all good (works well when it's important ). And I love big brown intelligent eyes, as long as he has those, I almost don't care about the rest of his face. I do like muscles though, don't care for ripped but there needs to be some evidence of muscles. Actually, I kind of lie: an ex of mine was/is pretty hot but because he is short he doesn't think so. Great physique and massive beautiful eyes with long eye lashes, nice lips, thick head of chestnut brown hair. Shame about the BPD though Link to post Share on other sites
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