onemorenight89 Posted May 30, 2016 Share Posted May 30, 2016 I got talking to this guy on a dating site a few months back. I found it a little weird after 2 weeks he hadn't given his phone number or asked for mine. One particular day I gave mine and said he could text me as I had to go for the day. I never got a text and when I came back he just said he had run into some crazy girls on the site before so didn't want to give out his number right away, and we continued to chat through the site. After 6 weeks I was tired of it. He kept telling me he wanted to tell me something but wasn't ready yet. He kept saying we connected so well. We had skyped each other so we could see each other and had conversations on skype for hours. After I still didn't know his last name, his number or anything about him I told him I was kind of over us talking and not meeting and I didn't want to waste time anymore. He then just came out with it. He said he was married, he found out she had been talking to some other man and she said nothing happened with them, but she missed the spark. He said he found the calls to some random number on the phone records, so he decided to get on this dating site to just see what was out there. I told him I really didn't appreciate being lied to but if he ever was single in the future he could reach out again and if I was single maybe we could see what we could have. He said he wanted to continuing talking as friends, was leaving her, and he really wanted to pursue us because he thought we had something that really had potential. We kept talking as friends but it didn't really work out too well. I noticed he was still always on the dating site and basically said to him I feel like he is still looking and chatting up other women and it isn't right, especially as he basically told me he was falling for me. Recently I decided to just stop talking to him because it was the best for me. I know that everything about this would have probably ended badly, and he hasn't actually even been online since I decided to not respond to him anymore, and I still miss talking to him after everything. I don't know what is wrong with me. I fantasize about him all the time but we have never met. I still miss talking to him but he lied from the start. I am wondering how to move forward because I can't stop thinking about him. I feel stupid too because we never met. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted May 30, 2016 Share Posted May 30, 2016 Many of us have been there and done the same thing. Trust me that you will get over it and take it as a fabulous learning lesson to get numbers earlier, meet in person as soon as possible, and to not get emotionally invested in ANY one until you have gone on several dates IN REAL LIFE. What brought me to this site as well was the ending of a toxic relationship with someone I met online. I have been there. You will learn and you won't do this again. And eventually you will meet someone else and know the steps to take to ensure they are genuine... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted May 30, 2016 Share Posted May 30, 2016 What would be gained/changed by meeting him in person? Lemme raise the red flags: -Married. -He is doing a tit-for-tat on his wife cuz wife was cheating. In other words, he's gonna go right back to her and reconcile cuz he's the weaker one in the RL/marriage. -He's got issues. Cuz, either he married a bad woman or he's not doing something right - hence, her cheating on him. -Married. -You don't know the truth of anything. Online people can make out themselves to be whatever they want you to think they are. -He's got issues. Instead of seeking counseling with his wife and/or making a decision to repair or leave his marriage, his response is to go online and get some too. Why would you want some guy who can't handle his business and handles stuff by passive/aggressive behaviors? -Married. -Did I say "married"? In other words, until he's divorced and alone for at least a yr or so, he's off limits. But really, I would have never left the door open for him. Why? See red flags above ^^, cuz even "if" he were to look you up as a single man, he's got issues and is not relationship material. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted May 30, 2016 Share Posted May 30, 2016 I fantasize about him all the time but we have never met. I still miss talking to him but he lied from the start. I am wondering how to move forward because I can't stop thinking about him. I feel stupid too because we never met. This is critical. What you are fantasizing is a perfect guy and how perfectly you two would fit together and it is exactly that: A Fantasy. What you are doing in your head is building the ideal scenario as you wished it had played out and the person you are fantasizing about isn't real and doesn't exist. The sooner you come to terms with that concept, the easier it will be for you to move on emotionally. Link to post Share on other sites
JarodOner Posted May 30, 2016 Share Posted May 30, 2016 Many of us have been there and done the same thing. Trust me that you will get over it and take it as a fabulous learning lesson to get numbers earlier, meet in person as soon as possible, and to not get emotionally invested in ANY one until you have gone on several dates IN REAL LIFE. What brought me to this site as well was the ending of a toxic relationship with someone I met online. I have been there. You will learn and you won't do this again. And eventually you will meet someone else and know the steps to take to ensure they are genuine... Spot on. You have to meet them in real life and just like Carrie said, go on SEVERAL dates. Link to post Share on other sites
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