Is it weird to hang out with a married couple?

[suckered]

I (single female) have recently started a new job and became friends with a co-worker (married male). We texted a lot and there was some flirting involved. He confided that he has some problems in his marriage (which sounded pretty serious to be honest). Few people at work have randomly told me that it's obvious he is attracted to me. I would be interested in him if he were single but I am not actively crushing on him.

 

Our intense friendship "ended" when we had a falling out over something work related. We didn't speak for 3 months (unless it was strictly work related). At an after work Christmas party at the end of last year, he brought his wife and introduced her to everyone. I somehow ended up going to a bar with him and his wife alone. It was a good night and we made up and started talking again.

 

Ever since then, him and his wife invite me to hang out with them nearly every weekend. Go to their place to play board games, go to bars, go for hikes. It's always only 3 of us and it's never with any other friends. The dynamic when we are together is a bit awkward. I am consciously trying not to talk about anything work related as to not exclude his wife and also not to sit or walk too close to him.

 

Him and me recently went to a work related trip and shared a 2 bdr accommodation. During the 4 days away, he didn't contact his wife at all. She sent me an excessive number of texts asking me what we are up to and to tell him to call her. When I asked him why he is not calling his wife, he just said that "he didn't feel the need or desire to talk to her".

 

Since we got back from the trip, the wife still texts me and invites me to do things with them. I have made excuses not to. I am not sure if this is all "in my head" but the whole situation feels a bit unhealthy and I don't want to get in the middle of their marriage problems.

 

Am I over-reacting by trying to distance myself? I have never been married so maybe this sort of situation is more normal than I think.

[Lois_Griffin]

We texted a lot and there was some flirting involved. He confided that he has some problems in his marriage (which sounded pretty serious to be honest).

LOL. Do you have ANY idea how freakin' cliche that is? I mean honestly, just about every married sleaze on the make does the same thing - starts crying about his marital woes and how he's so unhappy and his wife neglects him and gosh and golly, he just wants a little love and understanding, darn it.

Him and me recently went to a work related trip and shared a 2 bdr accommodation. During the 4 days away, he didn't contact his wife at all. She sent me an excessive number of texts asking me what we are up to and to tell him to call her. When I asked him why he is not calling his wife, he just said that "he didn't feel the need or desire to talk to her".

What a douche canoe. Why she settles for such an a*sshole is just beyond me.

Since we got back from the trip, the wife still texts me and invites me to do things with them. I have made excuses not to. I am not sure if this is all "in my head" but the whole situation feels a bit unhealthy and I don't want to get in the middle of their marriage problems.

You're what's known as a buffer zone. With you constantly with them wherever they go, they're not forced to have to interact directly with each other. It's much easier to have a third person there to alleviate the tension and awkwardness for them. You're like a crutch.

 

Tell them to get a damned dog or something else to pour their attention into if they can't do it with each other. Seriously.