Kamille Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 Was reading this blog based on sociological studies that show that women are less happy than men in marriage. https://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2016/05/04/women-are-less-happy-than-men-in-marriage-so-why-does-the-media-insist-otherwise/ I wouldn't go as far as to say the media conspires against women to make sure they get married. But studies do prove that this part of this article is true: single women, on average, are happier than married women. Married women are less happy than married men and less happy than single women. This could explain why so many men struggle on the dating market. The bottom line is: women are happy single. I know this applies to me. I would rather be single than in a relationship with just anyone. If I'm going to have to pick up and wash your socks, you better be ****ing awesome. 16 Link to post Share on other sites
OneLov Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 From an evolutionary standpoint, as a woman, you are more selective about your mate because you have much more to lose from a sexual encounter. Please see: Men may never truly get over a relationship break-up, says study | Love & Sex | Lifestyle | The Independent 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kamille Posted May 4, 2016 Author Share Posted May 4, 2016 From an evolutionary standpoint, as a woman, you are more selective about your mate because you have much more to lose from a sexual encounter. Please see: Men may never truly get over a relationship break-up, says study | Love & Sex | Lifestyle | The Independent Yep! Whether evolutionary or socially, women have many reasons and now the means to be more selective. On the social side: Men stand to benefit the most from successful relationships. They get more access to care (which is otherwise starkly lacking) and their housework load diminishes. Women, on the other hand, have to provide more care and their housework load increase. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
HillValley Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 Honestly we just live too long now for most LTR. Back in the good old days, you could be married at 21 and dead at 35 with 9 kids. By the time the 7 year itch kicks in, you'd be dead in 5 anyways. No need to cheat. Kidding!(kind of, not really) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 Well, I'm glad for this article. Hopefully these "modern" women will stop marrying and men will only "date" them for years on end without having to be tied down to them. And, hopefully these "modern" women - who because they won't marry - can have all the time in the world to tend to more important things, like their jobs. I also hope that the guys, since they won't marrying them, won't be stupid enough to knock them up. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 From an evolutionary standpoint, as a woman, you are more selective about your mate because you have much more to lose from a sexual encounter. Yes, more selective and more confident they can replace him. When they're confident they can replace him with a better one... that's when it's over. Men just want the women to be happy and everything to be stable. Happy wife, happy life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mike_89 Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 Honestly we just live too long now for most LTR. Back in the good old days, you could be married at 21 and dead at 35 with 9 kids. That's not really true. Who raised the children then? Even as far back as the ancient Egyptians people got old enough to become grandparents and I think it's safe to assume "marriage" as we know it came to be after humans settled down and were no longer nomadic (which is also when our lifespans dramatically increased). I think this thing that men are less happy single is because men are told to find a good woman to marry and have kids with. We are raised to believe that single men are essentially worthless in society. Just look at the way people perceive a man that is single around his 40s, the general perception is that this man is either unable to hold on to a woman or unable to attract one in the first place, the perception is not that he is single by choice. Any decently self sufficient man benefits as little from a relationship as a woman. Honestly if you consider that 70% of divorces are initiated by women and that the one paying alimony is almost always the man, I'd say men benefit far less from marriage than women. I have yet to date a woman that is prepared to help relieve housework load. In today's age, many girls are "empowered" and "feminist" and they refuse to even clean up their own clothes they leave around your apartment and they can't even cook a decent meal. Maybe I have just met the wrong girls but honestly, I feel like they benefit more from me than I from them. I have never dated a girl that could cook as well as I can, and only once dated a girl that helped clean the apartment and kitchen without acting annoyed (when I asked if they could help). So I always end up cooking, because I like healthy and tasty food, cleaning, because I like a clean place. Maybe that's why I am as happy being single as anybody, having a relationship doesn't seem to add anything. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 I think its age related..... Men struggle more when they are younger....From the mid 30's on or so, I think its women who struggle more..The available pool of quality men shrink and then it becomes a numbers game.... You hear tons of stories of men that were once ignored when they were younger, now have no trouble whatsoever attracting older women.. You might be surprised how many men literally take themselves out of the game..Maybe they got butchered in a divorce deal or??..Once sex drive goes in the tank, the thrill disappears..They "retire" to a sedentary life of a big gut, beer, pizza, the ball games, golf, fishing, and other hobbies with their buddies...A hot young woman can walk by and they wont even give her a look... Women, conversely, seem to forever be searching for the perfect relationship, even when they get older... eh,,,,who knows? TFY 5 Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 I have yet to date a woman that is prepared to help relieve housework load. In today's age, many girls are "empowered" and "feminist" and they refuse to even clean up their own clothes they leave around your apartment and they can't even cook a decent meal How many's many? And how old are all these empowered, feminist housework-allergic single women? And at what stage in the relationship are you expecting your dates to help relieve housework load exactly? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 Then stop complaining about men not growing up and wanting to play around. If it is so awful for women then stop getting mad at players. If men want to marry we are controllers trying to lock down and oppress a woman but if we want to play around then we are cads who don't want to grow up. I think a lot of us are figuring we are wrong no matter what so screw it. Men struggle less the less we actually try to please. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 From the article: Compared to being single, marriage is a bum deal for many woman. Accordingly, married women are less happy than single women and less happy than their husbands, they are less eager than men to marry, they’re more likely to file for divorce and, when they do, they are happier as divorcees than they were when married (the opposite is true for men) and they are more likely than men to prefer never to remarry. My main question is, if marriage is such a bum deal for women, why have I for decades overwhelmingly run into married women? I still do, even closing in on 60. All my friends are married. The bulk of my customers, those where I know a woman as the customer or spouse of customer, are married. Looking at OLD shows a decided dearth of single women, practically single digits unless going a lot younger. Do women simply have the personality to put up with a bum deal for life? Go from one bum deal to the next? Heck the one I married has been in three legal ones and jumped from ours right into a LTR without spitting. If myself and her two other husbands were such ogres, why not take the nice house I gave her and live alone? Nope, moved another guy right in. Must not be so bum after all. That's my perspective. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 Single men can be happy too. The only reason we need permanent relationships with women is to raise children in a stable environment. Today's men can get everything else they want or need from women without a relationship. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Jabron1 Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 This could explain why so many men struggle on the dating market. I completely agree. Too many guys are playing the 21st century dating scene like its 1947 or something. The bottom line is: women are happy single. I know this applies to me. I would rather be single than in a relationship with just anyone. If I'm going to have to pick up and wash your socks, you better be ****ing awesome. So... you think the trend is going the way of even more sex without serious commitment? Something tells me that men won't mind. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kamille Posted May 4, 2016 Author Share Posted May 4, 2016 I completely agree. Too many guys are playing the 21st century dating scene like its 1947 or something. So... you think the trend is going the way of even more sex without serious commitment? Something tells me that men won't mind. Yep. Fine by me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jabron1 Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 (edited) Yep. Fine by me. In my experience, women say that and then change their mind... What they really mean is that they want to explore their options until they decide on a relationship. Nothing necessarily wrong with that either, by the way. But, it's confusing. Edited May 4, 2016 by Jabron1 3 Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 In my experience, women say that and then change their mind... What they really mean is that they want to explore their options until they decide on a relationship. How is this different than what men do? Everyone wants to explore their options until they find someone they want to settle down with. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
SwordofFlame Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 I think both men AND women should be selfish when looking for relationships and marriage. Always ask yourself, What's in it for me? and Am I getting what I want? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 How many's many? And how old are all these empowered, feminist housework-allergic single women? And at what stage in the relationship are you expecting your dates to help relieve housework load exactly? Two women I know of, mid 20s in the military with me. Both has nasty cars and barracks/condo. One, she even went as a date to a military ball with chippy toenails. Both are married and divorced...one had one kid, one three. So, I bet they're sitting around scratching their heads as to why their marriages failed barely not even 5 years married. So, don't clean, don't keep up your appearance and don't be surprised when you're divorced in a few years and/or he cheats. Link to post Share on other sites
joystickd Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 Yep! Whether evolutionary or socially, women have many reasons and now the means to be more selective. On the social side: Men stand to benefit the most from successful relationships. They get more access to care (which is otherwise starkly lacking) and their housework load diminishes. Women, on the other hand, have to provide more care and their housework load increase. That depends on the situation Link to post Share on other sites
Jabron1 Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 How is this different than what men do? Everyone wants to explore their options until they find someone they want to settle down with. It isn't. But I think it's so much easier for women to become attached in casual arrangements. Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 That's not really true. Who raised the children then? Even as far back as the ancient Egyptians people got old enough to become grandparents and I think it's safe to assume "marriage" as we know it came to be after humans settled down and were no longer nomadic (which is also when our lifespans dramatically increased). I think this thing that men are less happy single is because men are told to find a good woman to marry and have kids with. We are raised to believe that single men are essentially worthless in society. Just look at the way people perceive a man that is single around his 40s, the general perception is that this man is either unable to hold on to a woman or unable to attract one in the first place, the perception is not that he is single by choice. Any decently self sufficient man benefits as little from a relationship as a woman. Honestly if you consider that 70% of divorces are initiated by women and that the one paying alimony is almost always the man, I'd say men benefit far less from marriage than women. I have yet to date a woman that is prepared to help relieve housework load. In today's age, many girls are "empowered" and "feminist" and they refuse to even clean up their own clothes they leave around your apartment and they can't even cook a decent meal. Maybe I have just met the wrong girls but honestly, I feel like they benefit more from me than I from them. I have never dated a girl that could cook as well as I can, and only once dated a girl that helped clean the apartment and kitchen without acting annoyed (when I asked if they could help). So I always end up cooking, because I like healthy and tasty food, cleaning, because I like a clean place. Maybe that's why I am as happy being single as anybody, having a relationship doesn't seem to add anything. It's also biology - which people wanna fight. While we have free will, we're still animals in part with some pre-programming. Birds? A male builds the nest and female will not allow him to mate with her unless the nest is ok. Back in the day, that was a man's purpose in life..to earn stuff. He couldn't even take a woman on a date if he didn't have means to court and even marry her. His "reward"? Sex and the propogation/survival of our species. Now that women work, the lines are blurred. Men no longer have a real "purpose". They still are marrying these women who aren't even worthy of motherhood/wife status cuz our species has to continue. But since both people are working and no one is making the house a "home" - it's like they're trying to follow what we biologically were created to do (nest, reproduce) but it falls apart eventually. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 It's also biology - which people wanna fight. While we have free will, we're still animals in part with some pre-programming. Birds? A male builds the nest and female will not allow him to mate with her unless the nest is ok. Back in the day, that was a man's purpose in life..to earn stuff. He couldn't even take a woman on a date if he didn't have means to court and even marry her. His "reward"? Sex and the propogation/survival of our species. Now that women work, the lines are blurred. Men no longer have a real "purpose". They still are marrying these women who aren't even worthy of motherhood/wife status cuz our species has to continue. But since both people are working and no one is making the house a "home" - it's like they're trying to follow what we biologically were created to do (nest, reproduce) but it falls apart eventually. Amen. You're preaching, but the people aren't listening. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Jabron1 Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 I think both men AND women should be selfish when looking for relationships and marriage. Always ask yourself, What's in it for me? and Am I getting what I want? There's only one small question that drives all success... Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 I think both men AND women should be selfish when looking for relationships and marriage. Always ask yourself, What's in it for me? and Am I getting what I want? We already have that = the "roommates/partners" that wanna call themselves "married". Worst, they are reproducing. All they're worried about is what's in it for them. They dump their kids in daycare and/or on relatives, spend money on cars, stuff, etc - then blame the economy as to why both have to work; neither wants to stay home, both believe making money to buy stuff is more important. Or, we also have self-centered singles too...they have a string of people they "date". They move in (shack-up) without even knowing them a month and/or without a ring and a date. Worst, they have/drag their kids in/out of it. It's me, me, me....I want instant relationship, sex, moving in, ring, car....but gosh darn me earning any of it. And darn anyone (spouse, kids, parents) who get in my way. Guys are more about porn and self gratification.... I could go on and on... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jabron1 Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 We already have that = the "roommates/partners" that wanna call themselves "married". Worst, they are reproducing. All they're worried about is what's in it for them. They dump their kids in daycare and/or on relatives, spend money on cars, stuff, etc - then blame the economy as to why both have to work; neither wants to stay home, both believe making money to buy stuff is more important. Or, we also have self-centered singles too...they have a string of people they "date". They move in (shack-up) without even knowing them a month and/or without a ring and a date. Worst, they have/drag their kids in/out of it. It's me, me, me....I want instant relationship, sex, moving in, ring, car....but gosh darn me earning any of it. And darn anyone (spouse, kids, parents) who get in my way. Guys are more about porn and self gratification.... I could go on and on... Gloria, when are you going to learn that you aren't going to win? I mean that in the nicest possible way. You do have a point. But, life is much to short to keep worrying about it. Worry about yourself. Focus on number 1. Transcend Knowledge is power. Use what you know to make your life better. Link to post Share on other sites
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