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EX FWB Situation. I've been out and don't want in BUT he doesn't get it


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Hi guys,

 

So long story short I was FWB with this guy for about two years. There was a point in time where I liked him and I wanted him to make me his GF, but that did not happen in a timely manner and I moved on.

 

Today im actually happy he never made me his GF because, what we built was based on hanging out and everything else besides attraction. I was never physically attracted to him because he just never cut it for me. In time when you're not fully compatible with someone, things will hit the fan and kaboom, all those little things will explode on your face. (got dumped two months ago and this is what happened) However, he is a great person to hang out with and is very outgoing. Well now, he knows that im single again and of course he has been trying to pursue me really hard. I hung out with him after my breakup because he is a good friend and listener but that was it. We did have sex once but I told him, this was not right and I left halfway through and texted him that I was sorry.

 

Now, he texts me every weekend and makes plans for us to hang out. I am at the point in where honestly I just DON'T care and don't have any type of interest in him romantically. To be honest, now that I see things clearer, ive never really had. I find it a little hard to fully cut the cord because we have always had a great friendship. If we were in a relationship, I would cut him loose and tell him all my motives, but we are not in a relationship and I consider him a great friend.

 

This breakup has opened my eyes in terms of what I am REALLy looking for in a man and most importantly how to read those red flags before committing and investing.

 

Anyone has any experience here with a similar situation?.

Even if you don't, please share some advice.

 

Thanks

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salparadise

Yes, somewhat similar situation two years ago. We knew we weren't really interested in each other but had something of a relationship (fwb+) anyway since we enjoyed each other's company. She was moving so I just let it time out. It was a learning experience. After that I stayed single for a full year, only doing coffee dates. I made it a point to not get involved until I met someone who really flipped my switch... and that did happen after a year. That year of no quasi dating was good as I was completely available when a great match showed up. My advice is to get clear of these half-way involvements. Yea, going that long without sex was kind of difficult, but it made it all that much better when I met my girlfriend. It might require a lot of discipline on your part since women can get sex anytime they get the itch, whereas men usually have to make a sustained effort. I believe that clean breaks and completely fresh starts are good for the soul.

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Yes, somewhat similar situation two years ago. We knew we weren't really interested in each other but had something of a relationship (fwb+) anyway since we enjoyed each other's company. She was moving so I just let it time out. It was a learning experience. After that I stayed single for a full year, only doing coffee dates. I made it a point to not get involved until I met someone who really flipped my switch... and that did happen after a year. That year of no quasi dating was good as I was completely available when a great match showed up. My advice is to get clear of these half-way involvements. Yea, going that long without sex was kind of difficult, but it made it all that much better when I met my girlfriend. It might require a lot of discipline on your part since women can get sex anytime they get the itch, whereas men usually have to make a sustained effort. I believe that clean breaks and completely fresh starts are good for the soul.

 

Thank you for your response. I agree. Im trying to stay away from those FWB situations. They end up doing more hard than good anyway.

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Finally spoke to this guy and settled things with him. He really thought we could pick up where we left off our FWB situation last time. I told him man I don't even think im suited for that so yeah. H said he likes the physical and he can deal with no feelings and my response was I don't want ANYTHING besides a cool friendship with you.

 

Left it at that. Looks like this guy wanted to have his cake and eat it too. Sadly im selfish now and I could care less about other's wants and needs but my own.

So to the curve to this guy.

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