Lee hye ri Posted April 3, 2016 Share Posted April 3, 2016 My brother is 28 yrs old and a new surgeon ... He doesnt socialize .. Doesnt visit his relatives unless we argue him to .. He would lock himself in his room ... Curse and talk in a snake voice ... He is smoker .. And also a drug addict ... He would spend all the day over the roof or in his room ... Sometimes he would suspect my mother for being the reason that girls regect him ... While mom do all she could to help him .. My father doesnt involve himself with my brother .. If i tell my brother he could work abroad .. He would get very excited ... And he would tell us that every country would wish for him ... He believes that he is very successful and everyone would wish to be with him ... While the others not see him like that .. If he argued with us .. We would win and he starts making nonsense excuses that we feel that there is something wrong with him .. He would suspent our parents of taking his money ... While that money is theirs ... I think it all started in high school ...when he found out that his friends got the same score as him without studying as much as him ... My mom would tell me that when he was young .. He would brag about his score in front of his friends ... He always thinks that the people around him are wrong and the he is always correct and that they dont understand him ... I dont know what to do with him .. I really wanna help him .. He talks to himself in a wierd voice and that sometimes scares me .. If he did it in the evening and my room is next to him ... I would with him about him bringing ghosts in his room but he doesnt reply .. He isnt interested in foing to vacations or any family outing at all .. If we went anywhere ... He would wait for us in the car Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted April 3, 2016 Share Posted April 3, 2016 I'm sorry, I have no idea what the exact point of your post is.... What is it you need from us? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lee hye ri Posted April 3, 2016 Author Share Posted April 3, 2016 I want to know if there is sth wrong with my brother ... He talks to himself and curses all the time in his room .. Is that normal .. Should i seek medical help .. Mom offered him that but he said there is no thing going with him .. But iam worried Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lee hye ri Posted April 3, 2016 Author Share Posted April 3, 2016 Sorry .. The title is ... How can l help him? .. I cant edit it Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted April 3, 2016 Share Posted April 3, 2016 How old are you both? If he's a surgeon (and I honestly worry about his patients!!) then he's an adult. You can't help him, unless he knows he needs help and wants it for himself. There is no way you can help him. This is something he has to realise on his own. I just hope it doesn't take a professional tragedy to do that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lee hye ri Posted April 3, 2016 Author Share Posted April 3, 2016 Iam 20 and he is 28 .. I think he is normal outside home Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lee hye ri Posted April 3, 2016 Author Share Posted April 3, 2016 Then you think he really needs help? Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted April 3, 2016 Share Posted April 3, 2016 He should move out. Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted April 3, 2016 Share Posted April 3, 2016 He's a surgeon and a drug addict? Step number one would be calling the hospital where he works and reporting him, because he literally has people's lives in his hands and if he's doing drugs and performing surgery then he will kill people. You knowing about this and not taking any action makes you partially responsible for their deaths.. Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted April 3, 2016 Share Posted April 3, 2016 Well, being a surgeon is not easy. I do know many surgeons who abuse drugs. OP, he needs help. You might have to help him underhand as 1) his professional life needs to be safeguarded 2) his personal health is very important. Try to find an anonymous group within the medical scenario as he is one of the many surgeons, suffering in isolation. Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey born raised Posted April 3, 2016 Share Posted April 3, 2016 Off the top of my head I think high functioning Aspie. or a narcissist. I think I have a link for Aspbergers someone but for now try Going ?Gray Rock? with a Narcissist | Narcissist Support Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lee hye ri Posted April 3, 2016 Author Share Posted April 3, 2016 Thank you for your help Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lee hye ri Posted April 3, 2016 Author Share Posted April 3, 2016 Well, being a surgeon is not easy. I do know many surgeons who abuse drugs. OP, he needs help. You might have to help him underhand as 1) his professional life needs to be safeguarded 2) his personal health is very important. Try to find an anonymous group within the medical scenario as he is one of the many surgeons, suffering in isolation. What do you mean by anonymous group? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lee hye ri Posted April 3, 2016 Author Share Posted April 3, 2016 He's a surgeon and a drug addict? Step number one would be calling the hospital where he works and reporting him, because he literally has people's lives in his hands and if he's doing drugs and performing surgery then he will kill people. You knowing about this and not taking any action makes you partially responsible for their deaths.. He only assist the surgeries .. And i dont think he takes drugs very often .. I think may be twice a month ... I dont know .. Iam asking you here bec. Iam confused and want to help him recover as quickly as possible .. My mom tries with him .. And offered to take him to doctor ..but the problem is that he doesnt think sth is wrong and we cant exactly point the problem with him that makes him isolated and an addict .. If i reported him at hospital he would go to another .. Besides he would lose his trust in us .. We should help him .. Not cribble him Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lee hye ri Posted April 3, 2016 Author Share Posted April 3, 2016 My brother is very kind and can be easily manipulated by words .. And poeple affect him easily ... I think he had bad experience with people that made him like that .. I think .. Do anyone of you know of a method to persuade him to go to a doctor? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted April 3, 2016 Share Posted April 3, 2016 He only assist the surgeries .. That might be even worse! If he's assisting, then those who he is assisting will expect him to be alert, responsible, responsive and up to speed. Nobody who takes drugs can guarantee any of those things! And i dont think he takes drugs very often .. I think may be twice a month ... I dont know .. If he takes drugs but you don't know how often , chances are it's more than that.... Iam asking you here bec. Iam confused and want to help him recover as quickly as possible .. Stop. Stop, stop, stop. I told you and you really need to listen, now: You cannot help someone who is unwilling or unconscious that they need help. If he needs help, he has to realise it, and needs to ask for it. You can't offer it where none is asked for. Besides, you are a young 20-year-old, and certainly in no position to have to take this as a responsibility. He's 8 years older than you are. He's a big boy now. The problem is that you are perceiving this from an emotional position. What he needs is practical help, and the only people who can do that, are those equipped professionally to treat something of this kind, but, I say again - the move has to come from him. My mom tries with him .. And offered to take him to doctor ..but the problem is that he doesnt think sth is wrong and we cant exactly point the problem with him that makes him isolated and an addict .. And there you go. he doesn't see there's a problem. So until he does he will stay in denial, and carry on as he is. He doesn't need your help, because he doesn't believe he meeds your help. If i reported him at hospital he would go to another .. Besides he would lose his trust in us .. We should help him .. Not cribble him HIs drug-taking would go on hsi work record, and he may find it difficult to find another position if a new employer takes references... There are two kinds of help: One enables, the other cripples. The problem is, while you cosset and protect him, you are enabling him to hide and deny his problem. The best thing would be to throw him into the deep end so that he sees for himself that his habit has a consequence. When my elder brother broke the law (many, many years ago) my parents turned him in to the Police. It was heartbreaking for them, but it was the best thing they could have done. Sometimes, the best decisions are the most difficult. It doesn't make them wrong. Getting him to move out and not giving him the shelter of support to hide behind, may be the best option there is. My brother is very kind and can be easily manipulated by words .. And poeple affect him easily ... I think he had bad experience with people that made him like that .. I think .. Do anyone of you know of a method to persuade him to go to a doctor? All you can do, is to speak bluntly to him and tell him that unless he seeks some kind of support for his condition, then you will contact the hospital and advise them of his addiction. He will get angry, he will threaten, he will rant rave and yell. Who cares? If he needs help, this may be the impetus he needs. And you could be saving lives. AN addict always thinks they are perfectly fine. An addict thinks they can do everything perfectly. An addict will protest that they don't use drugs a lot, or often and they are not affected. An addict will say and do anything to push you away, make you wrong and carry on with their habit. You sometimes have to be cruel to be kind. If you really want to help your brother, push him to help himself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lee hye ri Posted April 3, 2016 Author Share Posted April 3, 2016 You are right ... Its really very difficult to see him like that .. And even more difficult to report .. I think i need courage to be able to stand up to him .. I think i have to gather the whole family to push him .. Bec.like what you said its the right thing Link to post Share on other sites
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