Juji Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 Hi i am in a relationship since i was in 5th standard and now i am a college student.i know its too EARLY!!! I have issues now.The person i love the most is now cheating on me And he is not admitting it. Actually i am 100% sure that he is in a relationship with some other girl. If he don't love me anymore he should just tell me but he is denying every time i ask about that girl.He do not give me his mobile. Actually he never gives to anyone.i respect his privacy but its been 8 years to our relationship and i have never seen other than him EVER!!! I expect the same from him.i mean Should there be a place for some 3rd person in our relationship??? He is not understanding and lying about his relation with other girl. Plzz give me some advice what should i do??.I was trying my best to save our relation but how could he do this to me and he know that i know about it and then still denying?? I am confused Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 I know this is complicated and heartbreaking, but the simple truth is that young romances usually do not survive becoming an adult. Your young man is at the age where he's just now becoming his own adult person and he wants and needs to explore -- and so do you. It's hard for both of you to quit seeing each other because after so many years, you're bound to be kind of codependent. If you let him, he will keep seeing other women and still try to cling to you and keep you from seeing other men. You MUST see other men and go be active socially with girlfriends and stuff. This is about coming of age. It's a new stage of life and it's the one we are the most exploratory. Do NOT sit around being faithful to him. If you don't break up with him over this, you are giving him permission to set your feelings aside for the rest of your lives. You have to have a boundary. You have to set him free. If you set him free and maybe a few years go by and neither of you has moved on to anything serious, you can re-evaluate as adults. Men don't often start wanting to marry before 30 and if they do, it's not usually the best move. This isn't because of the girl. This is because he's of age. It's not something temporary. He will probably keep seeing other girls for some years to come. I'm sorry. I know you've invested a lot into him. Set him free and try to move on and go have some fun yourself. Try to live alone for a year and see what it's like not being under someone else's influence. You will probably love it. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Juji Posted February 6, 2016 Author Share Posted February 6, 2016 I know this is complicated and heartbreaking, but the simple truth is that young romances usually do not survive becoming an adult. Your young man is at the age where he's just now becoming his own adult person and he wants and needs to explore -- and so do you. It's hard for both of you to quit seeing each other because after so many years, you're bound to be kind of codependent. If you let him, he will keep seeing other women and still try to cling to you and keep you from seeing other men. You MUST see other men and go be active socially with girlfriends and stuff. This is about coming of age. It's a new stage of life and it's the one we are the most exploratory. Do NOT sit around being faithful to him. If you don't break up with him over this, you are giving him permission to set your feelings aside for the rest of your lives. You have to have a boundary. You have to set him free. If you set him free and maybe a few years go by and neither of you has moved on to anything serious, you can re-evaluate as adults. Men don't often start wanting to marry before 30 and if they do, it's not usually the best move. This isn't because of the girl. This is because he's of age. It's not something temporary. He will probably keep seeing other girls for some years to come. I'm sorry. I know you've invested a lot into him. Set him free and try to move on and go have some fun yourself. Try to live alone for a year and see what it's like not being under someone else's influence. You will probably love it. Good luck. Thank you so much maybe i should just breakup but its too hard to say to him that i cant be with him anymore but i guess this the right thing to do now Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 I am very sorry if your boyfriend is cheating on you. It is not something you should have t put up with. It might not feel like it now, but there could be someone different out there for you in the future. You don't have to accept a relationship with three people in it. It's hurtful and complicated. If your boyfriend is cheating, then you can either stay and put up with it or give him an ultimatum to stop. You'd have to be prepared to leave him if he didn't cooperate. But, if a guy cheats now, then can you trust him in future? Not really. Hurtful though it is (and I am sure this must feel devastating to you), sometimes one reaches the point where a line must be drawn in the sand and you need to protect yourself and your integrity. He has probably got himself embroiled in an exciting situation and is confused himself. He is not blameless; he got himself into this. If he doesn't get out, then why should you put up with it? Sometimes just giving up on a relationship is the only way. It is a way of saying you are worth more. And you are. xxx Link to post Share on other sites
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