My boyfriend is experiencing nihilism.. !

[treelife]

I just had a really long conversation last night with my boyfriend about life and our relationship. I don't know if this is pertains to depression or something of a philosophical state but I feel lost.

 

Knowing what type of person he is, usually would never have him experience this and.. It's scary. I feel that someday he can easily take his own life having these alarming thoughts. He started venting to me how everything isn't of any value, such as his schoolwork, his profession, etc. Which is normally what most feel but I just never thought it's affecting him this much.. I mean how can you lend a hand to someone who doesn't value anything? He's not truly happy and I can see that.

 

 

As far as the relationship.. I admitted that I have been feeling detached for over a month. I just feel that I don't expect anything more out of him, I feel like at times we're just really good friends because of how he treats me at times. To be quite frank about our relationship, it's boring. We hardly do anything together, we see each other 3x a week but usually it's just for school. Also we live 45 minutes away from each other and I usually can't use the car b/c my parents like to control me. So gas is taken away all the time from him. Also we don't really ever have any alone time since there's school, always running errands (me), my parents being overly protective and always wanting me home at a certain time... It all adds up. We don't mean for this to happen but circumstances fall into place and can deteriorate things that are beautiful.

 

He feels that our relationship isn't authentic enough. The way he explained it is not having to put much effort in the relationship. In every relationship he has had, usually he has to fight just to get a little attention from his girlfriends. He's always trying to maintain the relationship which what makes it exciting for him. But it's girls that usually like him but don't want him. He says with me, he knows that I wanted him he says he's blessed that someone finally wanted him. When it comes to arguments and a couple fights, we usually tend to make up for each other and apologize for whatever behavior each of us has done to hurt one another.

 

I guess you can say that our relationship is going very smooth. We usually tend to understand each other and can solve problems in a whim... Now that I'm writing this I suppose that this feeling I have may have been rubbed off from him. I mean... Should we put in more effort for the relationship? I mean that's what a relationship is for right? Is it usually one that cares less and the other would have to try? ... It hurt me a lot hearing this. Come to think of it, it's probably why I haven't been feeling so special from him lately (in regards to my last post here). But do you think he wants the relationship to be complicated? I figured he would feel happier that everything is going smooth and I'm usually very understanding.

 

Although after talking it out for hours, we grew closer and connected once again. Haven't felt like this for a while and it was honestly nice to finally have quality time together, it's something that we both haven't had in a while. But waking up now I feel quite hopeless. I feel that this whole time has just been kind of a blur to him while me on the other hand once again was thinking the opposite, thought everything was going well despite of how boring it has been.

 

What should I do? How can I help him? Is he even worth to try for this relationship?

[bigbaby]

Your boyfriend sounds depressed. He should probably see a doctor or therapist for that.

 

 

Since he likes girls who don't like him, tell him how bored you are with him. That should really rev him up!

[treelife]

Your boyfriend sounds depressed. He should probably see a doctor or therapist for that.

 

 

Since he likes girls who don't like him, tell him how bored you are with him. That should really rev him up!

 

I was thinking of going to a group counseling with him! Told him I was willing to go because I truly do care about him despite all this.

 

And idk.. It just sucks that I have to be a totally different person for him to be happy. I don't think he's happy of how lenient and understanding I am.

[preraph]

If your boyfriend is under the age of 25, I am not that worried about it because young adults tend to ruminate and get mad at the world. A lot of it has to do with just losing the idealism that comes with youth and inexperience as reality sets in. I know I did. But if he's older than that, yes, he sounds depressed. If it sounds serious, get him to see a psychologist or talk to his parents or whoever can influence him, like a sibling.