Why are some wealthy people cheapstakes?

[dragon_fly_7]

This has me wondering. Sometimes it seems like the more wealthy and professional someone is, the more likely to be a cheapstake. Note: this isn't just about some men but women too. In my case it's a woman I'm gonna briefly mention.

 

My older female cousin in her 40's (a professional marine biologist with her Ph.D who travels with her husband) came to visit us two years ago with her parents and brought worthless candies as a gift to my then 11 year-old brother.

 

Those candies seemed like they were even bought in the dollar store and kept for several days. On top of that, it gives cavities. My brother didn't even like them and I could see some type of disappointment in his face after the reunion was over. I think a blooded family member that's wealthy, travelled from long-distance by plane (whom claims to care a lot about his/her youngest cousin) and brings nothing but cheap candies is indeed a cheapstake, regardless of gender.

Edited November 25, 2015 by dragon_fly_7

[BikerAccnt]

That's probably how they became wealthy. By watching what they spend. Many people with money, aren't ostentations with their spending.

 

 

Additionally, they travelled a long distance to see family? And you're carping about a gift? They made the effort to travel long distance for a visit and all you cared about was the gift?

 

 

Maybe they were right in only bringing candies.

[MidwestUSA]

That's probably how they became wealthy. By watching what they spend. Many people with money, aren't ostentations with their spending.

 

 

Additionally, they travelled a long distance to see family? And you're carping about a gift? They made the effort to travel long distance for a visit and all you cared about was the gift?

 

 

Maybe they were right in only bringing candies.

 

Took the words out of my mouth, biker.

[dragon_fly_7]

That's probably how they became wealthy. By watching what they spend. Many people with money, aren't ostentations with their spending.

 

 

Additionally, they travelled a long distance to see family? And you're carping about a gift? They made the effort to travel long distance for a visit and all you cared about was the gift?

 

 

Maybe they were right in only bringing candies.

Personally, I wouldn't bring stale candies to an older kid, esp if he/she's my younger cousin. I would instead bring a shirt or cap (doesn't have to be expensive but something he/she can use). And if couldn't then I would just visit him/her and bring nothing.

[MidwestUSA]

Personally, I wouldn't bring stale candies to an older kid, esp if he/she's my younger cousin. I would instead bring a shirt or cap (doesn't have to be expensive but something he/she can use). And if couldn't then I would just visit him/her and bring nothing.

 

So if she'd brought nothing, you wouldn't be here complaining?

[dragon_fly_7]

So if she'd brought nothing, you wouldn't be here complaining?

Honestly yes. I'd rather prefer someone visiting you and bringing nothing than a cheapstake. IMO, if someone is going to be so cheap, bring nothing at all.

[GorillaTheater]

People bring gifts when they visit somebody? As in, there's some expectation that they will?

 

I guess it may say something negative about me, but this wouldn't necessarily occur to me. Nor would I expect anything from people visiting me. Beer would be cool, I guess.

[GunslingerRoland]

A few things. I think the question we should ask ourselves is why are people who are poor, so quick to spend their money. People who make less tend to spend more on things, buying items in single quantities as 7-11. Wasting money on lottery tickets, etc. etc. And then you get people in the lower middle class spending every cent of debt they can afford on loans for cars and houses.

 

 

Wealthy people are like that for a reason, they value their money. They know how hard it is to work for.

 

 

Secondly, I know a marine biologist with a PHD, she doesn't make that much. Impressive job, but it doesn't pay like a dr., lawyer or engineer.

 

 

Also why do you feel so entitled that this person, who has spent a lot of money to fly out to see you and your family should be bringing you gifts?

 

 

I know this is really common with European people. They assume when relatives come over from North America that they are rich and should bring lavish presents, not realizing that the economies are different and the "rich" Americans (or Canadians) aren't any better off financially than they are.

[TaraMaiden2]

Your sense of entitlement is frankly baffling....

 

Gratitude does wonders for your brain, apparently.

 

Perhaps you should focus on that, rather than find fault.

[preraph]

I dated a guy who looked good on paper. Good looking, clean cut (that's not actually what I like, but i let it go), dad owned a newspaper, working on his advanced degree. He would fly to see me and hide an iguana under his shirt on the plane. He spent money coming to see me but then he never busted out his wallet the whole time he was there. I didn't make much money. It did get a little tiresome And I don't think it was just because he paid for the flight. I asked the friend who introduced us who used to live near him in another town, and she said he never carried money. But hey, there's cards, so what the hell?

[Shining One]

I dated a guy who looked good on paper. Good looking, clean cut (that's not actually what I like, but i let it go), dad owned a newspaper, working on his advanced degree. He would fly to see me and hide an iguana under his shirt on the plane. He spent money coming to see me but then he never busted out his wallet the whole time he was there. I didn't make much money. It did get a little tiresome And I don't think it was just because he paid for the flight. I asked the friend who introduced us who used to live near him in another town, and she said he never carried money. But hey, there's cards, so what the hell?

Did you ever travel to visit him? I've been in one similar relationship. We had the understanding that the person hosting would treat the person travelling. Were you spending more on hosting him than he was on traveling? If so, I understand why that would be frustrating.

[123321]

.... and hide an iguana under his shirt on the plane.

 

I'm not sure if I'm hoping this is a strange euphemism, or literal.

[Myragal]

A cousin visited two years ago and brought candy. Two years ago?

 

Please excuse me using an overworked cliche but you need to get a life.

 

I have an aunt who bought me a nice pair of slippers for my birthday a year and a half ago. My sister sent me a jar of Marmite in the mail about 10 months ago...I bought a colleague a cup of coffee just last month. Somebody brought a whole box of little candy bars into our ward just before Hallowe'en.

[Art_Critic]

Generally speaking wealth is the total value of your assets... if you spend your assets you are spending your wealth..

 

It's a lifestyle... you get rich by saving and living within your means and you stay rich the same way..

 

IMO many rich people are only outwardly or publicly wealthy.. spending everything you earn on showing everyone your are wealthy isn't rich or wealthy.. it's spending yourself into having nothing for your future..

[Art_Critic]

IMO bringing cheap candies rather than something else is a matter of taste rather than being wealthy or being cheap...

 

If they had brought Godiva would that have been better ? or is it the cavity issue.

[alphamale]

one of the reasons they are rich is because they spend little or no money

[alphamale]

IMO many rich people are only outwardly or publicly wealthy.. spending everything you earn on showing everyone your are wealthy isn't rich or wealthy.. it's spending yourself into having nothing for your future..

yes I have to agree

[sportygirl89]

My dad was actually poor before he become wealthy, I wouldn't use wealthy. I would use money smart. He is strict on certain things but he is always giving. I think there is a cheapskate show on TLC where they are wealthy but cannot fathom spending money on a decent plate set.

[Tayla]

One of my family member is well to do. The family joke is, well lets see where he traveled this year. Why do you ask? Because our gifts are usually items from the hotels he stays at during his travels. Tacky? Perhaps, yet He really does stay at some upscale places, I loved getting some of the soaps and trinkets that were graced during his stays. He simply does not care to find that perfect gift. Its not his style, Like most in my family, we are grateful for any gift .... it says that they cared enough to wrap it and remember the occassion.

 

Op, you are welcome to have your opinion of the scenario of the candy. It probably did seem to not match the persons lifestyle. Consider it a lesson learned. Some folks have different ways of selecting a hospitable gift.

[mrldii]

People bring gifts when they visit somebody? As in, there's some expectation that they will?

 

I guess it may say something negative about me, but this wouldn't necessarily occur to me. Nor would I expect anything from people visiting me. Beer would be cool, I guess.

 

 

Yeah...some people/cultures do.

 

Growing up, we never brought gifts to someone's house when we went to visit them. Then, when I married into my first husband's family, it was understood you did not go over for dinner, to watch a movie, to play cards, or to spend a holiday weekend, whatever...without bringing something.

 

When I married into my second husband's family, whenever they'd come to visit us (in CA from Hawaii), it was their custom to always leave money...'a lot' of money. Even they just stayed a night, they'd hide $200 somewhere around the house, as "thanks".

 

 

 

In any event, back to the topic: OP, I do not believe the word "gift" means what you think it means.

[joseb]

 

Secondly, I know a marine biologist with a PHD, she doesn't make that much. Impressive job, but it doesn't pay like a dr., lawyer or engineer.

 

Also why do you feel so entitled that this person, who has spent a lot of money to fly out to see you and your family should be bringing you gifts?

 

 

 

Yeah was about to reply, marine biologist is hardly a rich profession.

 

And if someone came to visit me, I would not expect anything from them other than their presence.

[JustGettingBy]

That's probably how they became wealthy. By watching what they spend. Many people with money, aren't ostentations with their spending.

 

 

Additionally, they travelled a long distance to see family? And you're carping about a gift? They made the effort to travel long distance for a visit and all you cared about was the gift?

 

 

Maybe they were right in only bringing candies.

 

$5 per day adds up over a couple decades, for sure.

[beach]

This has me wondering. Sometimes it seems like the more wealthy and professional someone is, the more likely to be a cheapstake. Note: this isn't just about some men but women too. In my case it's a woman I'm gonna briefly mention.

 

My older female cousin in her 40's (a professional marine biologist with her Ph.D who travels with her husband) came to visit us two years ago with her parents and brought worthless candies as a gift to my then 11 year-old brother.

 

Those candies seemed like they were even bought in the dollar store and kept for several days. On top of that, it gives cavities. My brother didn't even like them and I could see some type of disappointment in his face after the reunion was over. I think a blooded family member that's wealthy, travelled from long-distance by plane (whom claims to care a lot about his/her youngest cousin) and brings nothing but cheap candies is indeed a cheapstake, regardless of gender.

 

Good God have a bit of gratitude.

 

I'm sitting here worrying about test results that my sister may have breast cancer and you're worrying about gifts from two years ago?

 

 

You obviously don't have real problems that are concerning.

 

Stay in gratitude. They visited. That should be enough.

[Gloria25]

I was never "rich" or "wealthy" at any time in my life, but when I earned waaaay more than I did now, while I did splurge on stuff like concert tickets, going out - I still did my own nails, hair, landscaping and home repairs. I also conserved electricity, didn't waste this or that, etc...I never worked on my vehicles cuz it intimidated me.

 

I also chose to live in neighborhoods with low mortgages/rent. I rode my bike, used public transportation, vanpooling, etc. whenever I could.

 

If it wasn't for my family and my career slump, oh gosh, I'd have lots of things/money. At one point I had several investments, several credit cards, I was livin' large

 

So, unlike my gfs who are buying name brand clothes, purses, etc. and switching out a luxury vehicle every freakin' year or so, I think I've lived a pretty frugal lifestyle.

Edited November 26, 2015 by Gloria25

[wheream_i]

A few things. I think the question we should ask ourselves is why are people who are poor, so quick to spend their money. People who make less tend to spend more on things, buying items in single quantities as 7-11. Wasting money on lottery tickets, etc. etc. And then you get people in the lower middle class spending every cent of debt they can afford on loans for cars and houses.

 

 

Wealthy people are like that for a reason, they value their money. They know how hard it is to work for.

 

 

Secondly, I know a marine biologist with a PHD, she doesn't make that much. Impressive job, but it doesn't pay like a dr., lawyer or engineer.

 

 

Also why do you feel so entitled that this person, who has spent a lot of money to fly out to see you and your family should be bringing you gifts?

 

Exactly......