how to react when someone you care about deeply FORGETS your birthday!!
So when someone u care about someone and they know it is your birthday and they do not email you, and this after reminding them of when your birthday is, then the day comes and nothing, how does one react to this?
DO you let it go? Email back asking what happened, is this a hint? Like I guess you're just not into me...Or did you really forget? WTF?
Situation: Abit more than friends...Friends with feelings...On both sides.
I guess it depends. Does this other person lay as much importance on birthdays as you do? If birthdays are no big deal in general for them, then I can see them not doing much about it. When you reminded this person, or dropped a hint - how did you go about it? Could they have missed your intention in reminding them?
There is no way he missed my intention. I know bday's are not a big thing for him, but when it was his birthday he made sure everybody knew about it...He knows how I feel about it too. He is not stupid. Maybe I am for expecting something from him.
If you two have an otherwise happy relationship, let it pass, or tell him your BDay was important, and it hurt that he did not celebrate with you. And WHY is it so important to you?Were you expecting a gift or romantic dinner-what? I have a hard time keeping track of what day it is myself.My friends know to email me THAT day, or a few days before, that it is someones birthday and then I can respond with a gift or phone call. I can barely remember if my daughters Bday is feb 9 or 12, and she'll only be two next week & a half!! But I also have two other babies, and hubby, and several close friends, and THEIR kids, and a divorced and re-married to others family..... So how the hell am I supposed to keep it all in order? If I write it down, one of the kids get the address book or the postit...so tella close friend of your partner to remind him for next year,and to make it nice for you. Is he even going to be in the picture next year? Get over it.
I've never been into BDs but my husband is--big time and I love him, but there have been a few times when I was on my way home and thought "crap! It's hubby's BD today - I gotta stop and get him something"
It's not that I don't love him, its just that I have a hard time remembering! My favorite birthday of all time was the one hubby forgot! He was working at a skating rink and worked until midnight and all day long he didn't say anything to me (and he NEvER forgets) so I didn't say anything either. He called me about 10 that night just to say good-night to me and he commented "Hard to believe tomorrow's your birthday" (I could tell he was smiling as he had something planned for me) and I replied "Yes, especially since it was today" There was dead silence on the other end of the phone for several minutes, then he began sputtering and trying to tell me that No, my birthday was the next day. Then he got a calendar out and realized that he kept thinking the 28th of the month and not the 27th because his friends BD was on the 28th of the month before mine. I laughed so hard! It was great! I'll never forget him forgetting mine---it was priceless to me!
That was about 20 years ago now. TWENTY YEARS!!! YIKES!!!
Maybe your bf is just one of us who doesn't remember.
Ok....so, my ex b/f forgot every special day for 2 years. No cards, emails, calls, gifts, nothing.
The guy after that? He forgot (as well) the first year after I told him how important it was to me - no nothing all day, not even a call! and then his Birthday arrived. I sent him all kinds of small interesting gifts and cards (we were LDR). I eventually got a thanks, then this year, I reminded him again and again, nothing.
I flew to be with him and during that trip, he reached over, picked up the phone and called some other chick and wished her Happy Birthday, right in front of me. How cold was that? I never even got that on both years. When I reacted surprised and hurt, he looked at me as if I was nuts and said he "never really knew me at all" as if I was a hysterical madwoman overreacting. To this day, I never received anything from him except the odd free online web ecard. Sorry, this is completely unacceptable.
To me, if a person doesn't want to please you when it's something that means a lot to you, then they aren't worth the price of a dirty penny in the gutter.
It's odd you bring this up because my boyfriend and I were just discussing/
arguing about this a few days ago. It all began because he was upset with me for "popping" over without advanced notice. I said to him, "You know I have class every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday (he lives on campus and I'm a commuter) and so I come visit you before I have to leave for class" and he said something along the lines of he doesn't have my schedule memorized because it's not important to him. So that obviously upset me. It's the third week of the quarter- we've been doing the same thing for three weeks... how could you not know which days of the week I have class???!!! Anyway, he likened it to birthdays. He said that he can't remember when my birthday is because it's of no value to him. That really hurt my feelings, but after reading some of the replies I guess I am coming to terms that some people really don't care about birthdays. But I'll tell you what- If my birthday comes and goes without mention, I'm going to be ticked off (we've got another three months before I have to worry about that). Forgetting your SO's birthday is totally unacceptable, IMO.
Ok, I guess the bottom line is this. If something is important to you and you tell your partner, wouldn't they naturally want to please you?
If you're a guy and you love a particular sport and the big game is on a specific day, wouldn't you want your girl to respect that? Conversely, if something is important to her like commeorating her Birthday which comes around once a year I may add, if a person doesn't care about your feelings and what you hold dear, then don't hold them dear either.
If they do express their love for you in other ways on a regular basis, may be it might be different but I hate cheap men personally.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.