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Reconnecting with my married ex


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Hi,

I am going to try to make this short. I have been married for three years. My husband is a good person, but is a bit of a pushover. We dated for two years before getting married. I am not a big fan of his family, I feel they take advantage of him, and we have had many fights over his family. I care for him, but my love for him is slowly dying. I am no longer sexually attracted to him. I just cannot live in this limbo where I don't know if there will ever come a time when he will put us first.

I have lately complicated things. I left home to go to college overseas when I was 18. When I did that, I had to leave my first boyfriend behind. I made a life for myself in a different country and I am now in my early 30s. The past couple of years, I have visited back home. I met my first love when I visited last year. We went out for a coffee, and it is weird but all the feelings came back, I felt like I was 18. He held my hand and we hugged and kissed. He is newly married and he has a baby. I know this sounds bad. We spent a few hours literally just hugging and holding hands. I also saw him again this year. He knows I have somebody, but not that I am married. I did not want to keep it a secret, but I just never mentioned it. There was a lot of sexual attraction between us, we kissed and kissed passionately, but did not have sex.

I am now back home. Problems with my husband are still there. I wish I can say I feel guilty but I dont. He picked me up from the airport and is now gone for the next two weeks tending to his family (parents). He is in business with his brothers and keeps saying that it is doing it all for us. I have always worked and I don't need him to provide for me.

What does this all mean? I don't think I am over my ex, it was a love that was so pure and innocent which was interrupted short because I left, the feelings are still there. I don't think I would want my ex to break up his family to be with me, but I have never cheated before, so I don't know what this all means or what I should do. My husband is clueless.

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Could you give more detail regarding how your husband is a pushover and doesn't make your relationship a priority?

 

 

For every personality trait that is a strength there is a corresponding weakness and vice versa.

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You are assuming your ex would break up his family to be with you. Don't be so sure. If you don't love or want your husband, what keeps you married?

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