Single Parent

[FighterInDisguise]

I'm a single parent father of 2 kids. I'm 33. My wife passed away about 4 years ago.

 

 

Being that I am a single dad, I haven't really cared to date especially the last few years as I just want to focus on my kids and my life. My parents and my late wife's parents help with the kids. I work a solid full time job.

 

 

I'm not ready yet to delve into a full time relationship, for various reasons. Also, for spiritual reasons I abstain from casual sex. Recently though however, I have found myself really desiring some physical pleasure with someone. I don't masturbate and not for religious reasons, just simply because I find I don't enjoy the feeling of climax by myself.

 

 

My resolve on the sex issue has waned though and recently I started talking to a woman I am acquainted with, locally (smaller city I live in). She is 47, very attractive and in excellent shape. As we both are. We happen to go to the same gym, which is how we started talking more often. She has been divorced for a few years now. So, both of us being single one night we started texting casually and she mentioned she was bored. I invited her over as I had just put my kids to bed. Last Friday night.

 

 

Eventually, we started talking quite intimately and had a few drinks and we had sex. She stayed the night and we ended up having sex multiple times throughout the night. Fantastic sex. She left in the morning before they(kids) awoke.

 

 

My issue is, on one hand I'm torn because her company is nice and the sex is fantastic. But, I don't want to expose the kids to anything like this and a new woman yet. She understands that and respects it and is willing to be very discreet with me. We have been texting this week throughout the week and 'sexting' back and forth.

 

 

Also, I have this weird guilt complex right now because her sexual demeanor is different and it led to us doing things I never did at all with my wife. The sex has an intensity to it and a manner that's quite colorful. Its awesome and I enjoy it, but have these mixed reservations about the kids and getting used to doing these things.

 

 

I know I can't compare my wife and I's life to this given her short time.

 

 

I feel funny even posting this and a little weird but its new for me and not how I normally have lived. I feel energized by it to and excited.

 

 

I guess what I am wondering is if I should be doing this or not??

Edited September 4, 2015 by FighterInDisguise

[GorillaTheater]

You might tell me I'm wrong, but what I'm seeing here is a multiple-front tug-o-war between your faith, your dedication to your kids, the memory of your late wife, and the stability you've achieved in your wife vs. this amazing and amazingly sexual woman.

 

I wouldn't recommend you introduce her to the kids for a little while longer; the first step is to see if this relationship has legs. As amazing as she may be, you don't know at this point whether it does.

 

You also need sometime to wrap your mind around this new dynamic in your life. She's rocked your world, almost literally.

 

Continue seeing her, and you'll know if and when it's time for the kids to meet her.

 

And congratulations, man.

[FighterInDisguise]

You might tell me I'm wrong, but what I'm seeing here is a multiple-front tug-o-war between your faith, your dedication to your kids, the memory of your late wife, and the stability you've achieved in your wife vs. this amazing and amazingly sexual woman.

 

I wouldn't recommend you introduce her to the kids for a little while longer; the first step is to see if this relationship has legs. As amazing as she may be, you don't know at this point whether it does.

 

You also need sometime to wrap your mind around this new dynamic in your life. She's rocked your world, almost literally.

 

Continue seeing her, and you'll know if and when it's time for the kids to meet her.

 

And congratulations, man.

 

 

Thanks...

You're right. In fact you nailed it on all accounts.

 

 

For now I'm not going to introduce her yet. I had resolved that much. I think continuing things will depend on how things go.

 

 

As an aside, I'm going over to her place tonight...and the kids are going to be at grandpa and grandmas. The kids overnight was already planned. The idea of me swinging by her place just came about today.

[Gloria25]

You might tell me I'm wrong, but what I'm seeing here is a multiple-front tug-o-war between your faith, your dedication to your kids, the memory of your late wife, and the stability you've achieved in your wife vs. this amazing and amazingly sexual woman.

 

I wouldn't recommend you introduce her to the kids for a little while longer; the first step is to see if this relationship has legs. As amazing as she may be, you don't know at this point whether it does.

 

You also need sometime to wrap your mind around this new dynamic in your life. She's rocked your world, almost literally.

 

Continue seeing her, and you'll know if and when it's time for the kids to meet her.

 

And congratulations, man.

 

I agree pretty much with everything ^^ except for introducing her to your kids...

 

I mean, if the kids get attached to her and you two break up one day - the kids will suffer another loss (to a woman they got attached to). Also 2nd marriages often end up in divorce cuz of issues involving the kids (i.e. how your raise, discipline, etc. them - over what she'd like/prefer)

 

I commend you for your sacrifice and putting your kids first and am glad you found some companionship - but don't let all that hard work go down the drain over good vagina.

 

BTW, bad move on her part. I would never of had sex with you while your kids were there. Makes me wonder what "else" she'd be insensitive/inconsiderate about when it comes to your kids. So, keep an eye on that and again, I'm glad to see you have rescheduled your next visit for when the kids aren't there.

 

I wish more single/divorced/widowed dads where like you...I don't mind being the "hamburgers and company" gf on the weekends - cuz I do not want to disrupt the kids' lives. But, seems most single/divorced parents are looking for a nanny/maid/babysitter and/or don't care who they drag in front of their kids.

[misspond]

I feel funny even posting this and a little weird but its new for me and not how I normally have lived. I feel energized by it to and excited.

 

 

I guess what I am wondering is if I should be doing this or not??

 

Of course you should be doing this if it makes you feel good, excited and alive. It sounds like you've got your priorities right (I'm a single parent too and have been single for 5 years so I do understand that part) in terms of the children and it's great that she understands this too and is discreet.

 

Just enjoy your new friend, your newly aroused libido and be open to discovering new things with her. Life's for living