DexterLS Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Long story short, my ex of, nearly 7 years, cheated and left me for someone else around 6 months ago. Yes, it's still hurting (although less and less everyday) and she hasn't helped during the process so far. NC hasn't really helped me, considering she was hell-bent on intentionally hurting me during my process of moving on. If you want to read more about my store, you can check my other threads. About this thread, I have slowly started to feel better over the months and naturally have been going out and catching up with some friends regularly, but it seems that I am intentionally taking every opportunity to tweet, instagram, facebook about it so that my ex can see how she is no longer affecting me. However, she does really affect me. It's been 7 months and I do still think about her every single day. Everything I do online, I have to debate whether I should post it, what my ex would think if she saw it etc etc. Although she is blocked on my Facebook, my Twitter & Instagram profile have been public during all this time. I wanted to know if it's better to just make these two private as well so she doesn't have any kind of updates on me. What do I want to achieve by all this? Nothing really, but she is going around telling my friends how I am intentionally uploading all these photos on my accounts to spite her etc etc. To be honest, I really wanted to show her I am moving on. I really wanted to show her that I don't need her in my life, but I don't know how I can do that. Pros and cons about keeping my social media accounts private? Link to post Share on other sites
Stage5Clinger Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 You don't really need to unfriend or block an ex you can just hide her from your feed. Who cares if she's checking up on you? That's a good thing. Who cares what she thinks you're single not her puppet anymore. Get a new girlfriend and actually let yourself fall for her to win this game. Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 IMO, the fact that you're worried about whether or not she sees what you post tells me you haven't moved on. Well, I guess since you were the dumpee it's taking you longer to move on? Link to post Share on other sites
blackcat777 Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 Block, delete, block, delete, block, block, block, block, delete. The absolute best thing you can do for your sanity. If you block her or delete her, these questions will no longer plague your mind. I am a huge advocate of NC for healing. It's the best gift you can give yourself, especially if you're hurting (I speak from experience). Link to post Share on other sites
edgygirl Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 I wanted to know if it's better to just make these two private as well so she doesn't have any kind of updates on me. What do I want to achieve by all this? Nothing really, but she is going around telling my friends how I am intentionally uploading all these photos on my accounts to spite her etc etc. Yes make it private for your own sanity. As long as it's open, it will give you reason to think about her (at least when you're posting something) and it will make it more difficult for you to move on. The less reasons you have to think about her, the quicker you'll forget her. To be honest, I really wanted to show her I am moving on. I really wanted to show her that I don't need her in my life, but I don't know how I can do that. Pros and cons about keeping my social media accounts private? The best way to "show" her you are/will be moving on is... not to care. The only way to achieve that is... not caring. The best way to not care is forget her. Do all you can to forget her, including making your social media private To be honest I do have one photo site still open. I am not sure my ex checks it or not, but I post like 1 pic per 5 months... mainly one pic per amazing vacation. If anything, he doesn't really know what I'm up to, only that I am traveling the world. Good enough for me Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Yeah, I concur with blackcat777 and edgygirl. Just make your posts private. You don't need to advertise to her what you are doing. It comes off as desperate to convince her that you are having a great time without her, even though you are still feeling sh*tty. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
warrenorabbits Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 IMO, the fact that you're worried about whether or not she sees what you post tells me you haven't moved on. Yep, yep, yep. Not that I don't sympathize with you, OP, but you are definitely showing her the exact opposite of having moved on, and it sounds like she's onto you. Block her on everything. Have you been out lately? I find that finding someone new can be one of the best ways to let go of someone, not that you should rush into a relationship that you don't feel comfortable with. Link to post Share on other sites
MoreAmore Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 I'd be hesitant to block at this point because you can't win. She would see that as confirmation you are doing it all to get to her. Honestly, if she is saying anything, it IS getting to her. BUT, you shouldn't care about that. If you need to block her to not be considering your life in terms of her, then that's what you should do. I kept all of my exes on social media. I unfollowed them for a while after, if necessary, but I never worried about it. I never block or unfriend people, though. Then, none of them were actively horrible to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Dexter. You are still in contact with her via third parties. This is not no contact. This is continuing to torture yourself. With regard to your instagram, facebook etc what you do now is up to you. The attitude should not be "Am I rubbing her face in it" but more "this is my life and I am doing what the hell I want with it. Who gives a damn what she thinks or feels. At this point you certainly shouldn't. Just block her and carry on posting. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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